Leaving the past behind

Today was Palm Sunday. We celebrated with one of my daughters and her husband at their church. On the way home, we stopped by our old house. We always feel nostalgic when we pass that area of town and stop by as often as we can. But today when we passed, we were dumbfounded. The man who'd purchased the home last year had taken down all of the trees on both sides of the house and in front of it! He'd totally decimated the property! Our house used to be lush and green, filled with beautiful trees! I loved those trees! They gave us lovely color in the fall and soothing breezes in the summer. As we looked over the terrain, my heart felt crushed. One of the reasons we'd purchased that home in the first place was because of the huge wooded lot. I couldn't understand how someone could destroy God's beautiful creation so easily and quickly. 

We pulled onto the gravel road beside the house and saw the new owner out in the yard. I rolled down the window and called out to him. I told him we'd been driving by and had seen all the work he'd done. He was congenial but I could tell he didn't appreciate us stopping by and especially didn't appreciate me taking photos. I explained I had snapped a few photos because of the drastic change and hoped he didn't mind. He indicated he understood, but seemed annoyed. Then, we began talking. I've always tried to remain friendly with him through texts and emails after selling our home. I wanted to keep a good relationship and be able to answer any questions he might have about our beloved property. When I mentioned the loss of all the trees, he said he'd paid $21,000 to have 95 trees removed from the property. My mouth fell open. He must have been surprised at my reaction because he immediately tried to smooth things over saying he had big plans for the place. I asked what he planned to do and he said he was going to plant sod and add plants the deer wouldn't eat. I tried to imagine how beautiful it might look, but it was hard to see it in my head without the lovely shade of the big oak and pine trees. We'd planted so many things right after purchasing the home - blueberry bushes, daffodils, lirope, amaryllis, mexican petunia, iris, etc. We'd enjoyed it and planned to plant many more things before deciding to sell, but didn't get around to doing all we wanted last year. 

We said our goodbyes and drove away. I fought tears all the way home. It hurt to see the mutilation of our beautiful property, but it wasn't ours anymore...God reminded me. 

When we got home, I went into the bathroom and cried. I cried for my old house, the one we'd loved for over 10 years. It was my third home. You'd think I would have been used to leaving a house by now, but that one in particular, held so many memories - both good and bad. I didn't know why it hit me so hard, but it did. After a good cry, and seeing myself looking like a raccoon in the mirror from the streaks of mascara down my face, I felt God prick my heart..."Forget what lies behind and press on toward what lies ahead." I was familiar with that passage - Isaiah 43:18-19, but it was so hard. 

It seems the older I get the more difficulty I have with change. I want to cling to the things I'm sure of. I don't like uncertainty. I like to be in control...and I think that's what God's trying to remind me - I never have been in control and I never will be. Only He has my future mapped out. 

Yes, I can make decisions. I have free will. Some of them will be good and some of them won't be so good. Some I'll be okay with and some I'll regret, but I can't dwell on the past. I have to move forward, even when I don't want to...

I've often wondered, if some of those people who lined the road with palm branches for Jesus, as He entered Jerusalem, ever felt remorse later on. They were so ecstatic to think their new King was coming and then, when they discovered He wasn't who they thought He was, the yelled and spit at Him, mocking Him with hatred and disgust. But when they saw Him, bloodied and beaten, hanging from a tree, did any of them feel the tiniest bit of regret? Did they wish they could take back any of their actions and get a giant "do-over?" Probably not. 

The sale of a house is a commonplace thing. People choose to do it all the time. Perhaps a person has outgrown a home and needs a larger one or vice versa. Maybe they're tired of living in a specific city and want to move to be closer to family. It's not usually a big deal. A crucifixion is a rare occurrence these days but was commonplace in Biblical times. The big difference was crucifixion was normally thrust upon someone without their consent, except in the case of Jesus. He knew it was coming. He did nothing to stop it. He went willingly and obediently to the cross. And He never looked back with regret. 

Oh, that doesn't mean He didn't remember it. Surely He did. Remember when He held out His hands to Thomas and said, "Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe"? He remembered and wanted to be sure Thomas did, too. Poor humans have to see to believe sometimes. God understands that and gives us grace. 

And I think God knows when we face disappointments, like I did today, that's why He reminded me not to focus on things of the past. He also reminded me this world is not my home. I'm just a temporary resident here. That made all the difference. 

In closing, I heard Cat Steven's song, "King of Trees" playing in my head. Such significance in the decimation of our old property and the sacrifice made by Christ...

Everyday Devotionals Bonnie Annis