The Power of Fear

I used to wonder why the Bible says do not fear over 365 times. Pastors usually mention this in their sermons at some point during their career. Today, as I was experiencing some heart rhythm abnormalities, I started to become very fearful. The more fearful I became, the higher my blood pressure went. 

There are a lot of things you can control in your body, but you can't control your heart. Over the past few months, I've been dealing with possible AFib. If you don't know what that means, imagine having your heart beat really slow for a few minutes and then be really really fast and then start the same process over again. The rhythm is completely out of whack. It's extremely scary and can make you feel very light-headed and weak. Now can you see why I get scared? 

No matter what I tried to do, fear seems to overtake me. I do my best to remain calm. I'm a believer and I know that God is in control, but I don't want to die a heart attack. 

We have a huge history of heart problems in our family but none have ever touched me other than hypertension until recently. A few months ago, when something like this happened for the first time, the doctor determined that my potassium was very low and increased it. Then it got too high and they decreased it. More than likely, this is the problem right now but I won't know until my cardiologist gets back in touch with me. 

It's very frustrating trying to get in touch with your doctor's office only to be routed to a robot. I miss the days where you could talk to a human every time you called someone on the phone. That's not the case these days. As I typed this, I'm waiting for my doctor's office to get back to me. I've sent them a message through the portal, called and left a message with their office and I'm feeling very frustrated. 

I'm doing my best to hold on to the truth that God is still in control and that He's not going to let anything happen to me that He hasn't put into His plan for my life, but it's still hard and scary. I'm only human. 

Please say a prayer for me. I'd sure appreciate it.