Cancer connections

In 2014, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I went on a quest to find alternative ways of fighting the disease. I didn't want to go through traditional treatment - surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and then anti-hormone pills for years afterward, so I started digging. I read any and everything I could find on holistic and non traditional means of combating the disease. There was a ton of information out there and at times, my research became overwhelming. I was determined to find a way to win the battle I'd been thrust into and I was willing to do whatever I could to do it on my terms. 

I found the most helpful information as I studied Chinese medicine. Some of the treatment options were pretty easy and others more difficult. I gleaned as much as I could and adopted many of the ideas hoping to extend my life for as long as possible. Some people laughed at me as I began drinking 3 or 4 glasses of organic Matcha green tea a day and they didn't understand the boundaries I put up to help reduce my stress, by I didn't care. It was my life and I was going to live it to the fullest. This July 9, I'll celebrate 11 years of being cancer free. I attribute that to the healthy methods I incorporated into my life, to my faith, and to stress reduction. 

I've never understood why so many of my friends decided to accept traditional treatment after being diagnosed with different forms of cancer. I wondered why they didn't do a little digging to try to find a better way. Of the friends I've made since my diagnosis, there are only one or two still living. I can only attribute those odds to the horrible devastation their bodies faced as they were pumped full of deadly chemicals in an effort to eradicate cancer cells. Did they know chemotherapy also killed their healthy cells? Probably not. I doubt seriously doctors told them. Another thing I've never understood is why doctors don't suggest to patients, as soon as they're diagnosed, there are other options. A good doctor, one seriously committed to the Hippocratic oath,"Do no harm," should say, "I'm so sorry to tell you that you indeed have cancer. I want you to go home and think about how you'd like to proceed. There are many treatment options available. Typically, we suggest the traditional route because we've had some good success with it, but the choice is yours. Do your homework and let me know what you decide. I'll help in any way I can and no matter what you choose, I'll support you. I want to see you live." But that's an unrealistic scenario, I know. 

Yesterday, a sweet friend reached out to tell me her cancer has returned with a vengeance. She's a young mother and more than likely won't make it to see the end of this year barring a miracle. I pray she gets it. She's done everything in her power to fight this horrid disease but no matter what she's done, it's continued to come after her, stalking her like a demon from the pits of hell. My heart breaks for her. 

Early this morning, in the wee hours, as I lay awake listening to a YouTube video, I got a text from another friend. We've known each other about 8 years but have never met in person. Breast cancer connected us through an article I'd written for a cancer publication. This woman had taken time to read it and reach out. After that initial contact, we've been kindred spirits. Getting a text from her about 5:46 A.M. made my heart sing. God knew I needed her message. It was filled with sweet memories we've shared over the past years and reminded me of the value of friendship. The funny thing is, we'll probably never meet in person. She lives many states away, but whenever God pricks one of our hearts, we reach out and connect. It kind of reminds me of the old AT&T/Bell South jingle from years ago, "Reach out and touch someone."

Tragically, one of the good things about cancer is it can definitely connect people in ways no other disease can, but it can also tear people apart. Cancer, in all forms, wields more power than many can fathom. It's a hateful, non discriminatory disease and loves to sneak up on the unsuspecting. My hope is that one day, before my grandchildren and great grandchildren are adults it will be completely gone, but I'm afraid that hope will remain unrealized. Why do I feel this way? It's partially due to all the bio engineered products they consume daily in convenience foods or from the many cancer causing chemicals surrounding them each day-  simple things like cleaning products, impurities in drinking water, etc. But I can still hope and maybe, just maybe my hope will become a reality. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_ErNQ415s6A&t=44s

 

Could Supply Chain Issues Negatively Impact Cancer Care?

With the recent supply chain problems, people all over the world are finding themselves in precarious situations when things they need and rely on are unavailable.

A recent trip to the grocery store opened my eyes in a big way. Many of the shelves were empty and the ones that did hold product were sparse. News reports and social media outlets have been reporting on supply chain issues for months. I hadn’t really given them much thought until I was an eyewitness.

As I wandered through the store, picking up essential items, I wondered what would happen if one day in the near future, we weren’t able to have access to necessary medications? I wondered what would happen if I couldn’t get my blood pressure medication? Would it spike rapidly causing an emergency room visit for intervention? And what about my thyroid medication? What would happen if I couldn’t get that? I don’t have a thyroid gland and need the hormone to make my body function properly. Thinking about those two possibilities scared me, but also caused me to think on a grander scale. What about those depending on chemotherapy medications to fight cancer? What would happen if they weren’t able to go for their infusions or receive maintenance medications like Tamoxifen?

Though I’m not currently using any cancer medications, I know people who are. Those people are in various stages of treatment, and I can only imagine how life would drastically change for them if they were unable to have the medication needed due to something out of their control.

As I began to research this potential problem, I was shocked to find several articles corroborating my worst fears.

It seems medication shortages began when Covid 19 hit and many cities in China were shut down. Since China manufactures many of the pharmaceuticals used by America, we began to feel the effects rather quickly. Then, a large pharmaceutical manufacturing company in Israel, Teva, closed causing even more problems.

The FDA began listing medications that were in short supply and among those were drugs used in chemotherapy and other serious health conditions.

In a 2021 a study conducted by the American Society of Clinical Oncology (ASCO) oncology drug shortages were reviewed. The study noted five oncology drugs in short supply including epirubicin, flutamide, decitabine, mechlorethamine, and dactinomycin. Those drug shortages along with more recent ones, such as the drug Abraxene, caused some patients in Alaska to postpone lifesaving treatments.

The FDA maintains a database of drug shortages. Looking at the list is disheartening as many medications currently show a status of low supply. So, what does a person fighting cancer do when unable to obtain medication to treat the disease? Do they seek alternative methods or wait out the storm hoping for a quick resolution?

In many cases, alternative options aren’t available, but for those willing to do whatever necessary to survive, consulting a trained naturopath may provide helpful tips or options.

Supply chain issues are becoming more concerning day by day as the availability of diesel fuel becomes sparser, gasoline prices rise, and goods are disappearing from the shelves. Though grocery items are probably more noticeable than medical supplies to the average joe, we’d better be paying closer attention, especially when it comes to our health concerns.

Out of curiosity, I wandered to the pharmacy section while visiting big box store and took stock of the supplies there. I thought it wise to pick up a couple of bottles of Acetaminophen, some antacids, and other over the counter medications just in case I needed them for future use. Those items should be staples in every household for common health issues but don’t do a thing for more serious problems like those related to cancer. I didn’t expect to see such low quantities on the shelves. Though I didn’t need anything urgently, I picked up some extra boxes to pad my emergency supply at home.

My heart goes out to those currently undergoing cancer treatment requiring medication. I can’t imagine how frightening it must be when they consider the possibility of not being able to have their treatments as scheduled. It would be a real shame to go in for treatment only to be turned away due to lack of supply. Let’s pray a solution can be reached before conditions become dire.

 

Preparing to lose a friend to cancer

This weekend, I had the opportunity to spend some time with friends I hadn't seen in almost a year. During that time, cancer invaded their lives. 

It came as a surprise to me when I received the email. It said, "Stage 4 pancreatic cancer, spread to the liver." As soon as I read those words, I cringed. Pancreatic cancer usually takes a person fast. 

Our home church was hosting a women's crafting event. Since many of my old friends there know how much I love crafting, I was invited to participate. Since we'd moved many years ago, the hour and a half trip made attending every service difficult. We missed the fellowship, but tried to stay in touch through phone calls and the internet.

I eagerly accepted the invitation knowing I'd have a chance to see some of my dear friends and in particular, I'd get a chance to visit briefly with Jack, the one with pancreatic cancer. 

The day was lovely. The women and I had a blast making fall decorations and centerpieces. It felt good to be surrounded by friends. They didn't know it, but I hadn't been out of the house much over the past few years.

When our crafting time ended and we'd cleaned up the supplies, our husbands came in to see if they could help. We loaded them down with boxes to take to the cars. 

As Jack reached to take a big box from the preacher's wife, I was surprised. He was so thin. Cancer had taken a toll on his body, leaving his 6 foot frame frail.

Trying to help, I rushed over to my husband and whispered in his ear, "Take that box from Jack! He's too weak to carry it," but my husband shook his head no. I wondered why and was saddened that Jack was struggling under the weight of the box. 

A few minutes later, I understood why my husband refused to take the box. If he'd taken it from Jack, he would have wounded Jack's pride. Though Jack was visibly weak from chemo, he still wanted to be treated normally.

On the way home, I couldn't help but cry. Seeing what cancer had already done to my friend was upsetting. There was nothing I could do about it. 

When Jack had received the bad news, I was his first contact. He knew I'd been through breast cancer and I would be able to answer some of his questions. As we talked on the phone, I listened as he asked about every aspect of the cancer journey. I wondered how much information to share and how much to withhold. I didn't want to discourage him but knew he needed answers. So I decided the best thing I could do was be honest with the questions he asked and not divulge information on anything else. 

It's so difficult to know how to help a friend with cancer. Every case is different. But when a friend reaches out, it's our responsibility to be there for them, in any way possible. And that's what I've tried to do for Jack. 

My heart breaks knowing treatment is only going to make him weaker. I want to wrap my arms around him and give him a heads up but won't. I also want to reach out to his wife and let her know I understand how she feels. I know her fear, but I am trying to just be the listening ear. I want her to share her feelings when and if she wants to, I don't want to pry. 

The reality is that I'll lose a friend very soon to cancer. And while I don't want to believe it, I see it, right in front of my eyes. 

I hate cancer so much. I don't understand how one person can do so well and another have a totally different outcome. 

I honestly believe chemotherapy does a person more harm than good in fight cancer. That's one reason I refused it when I was diagnosed. I'd done my research and I'd listened carefully as the oncologist explained what may or may not happen. 

But each person has to chose for themselves. We do whatever it takes to stay alive and sometimes, that means taking the risk of suffering more bodily damage to do so. 

Please pray for Jack in the days ahead. Maybe, just maybe, the chemo will give him a few more months of life. And if not, pray that God takes him home quickly so he won't have to endure more pain. 

Life is so short. We can never take a day for granted. 

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it.

This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair.

But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules. It makes its own rules as it goes along. It morphs and changes and there's not a darn thing any of us can do about it. Even with treatment, there are no guarantees. And without it, you just never know...you may survive and you may not. It's just a crap shoot.

So what can we do to better our odds? Naturally, I want to say we should do everything within our power to stay healthy. We should eat right, exercise, get plenty of rest, and try not to stress but that doesn't always work.

And how do I console someone who's living my worse nightmare? I can say I'm praying for you or I'm so sorry to hear your news, but what will that change? It won't take away their pain. It won't lessen their fears. It might exacerbate things and I don't want to be the one to do that. So I'll do nothing but empathize, cry silent tears, and scream words that don't make sense, like WHY????

My heart hurts for her. She's fighting so hard but it seems like a losing battle, and yet...she still fights. I know she's doing it for her family. She has small children and an adoring husband. She wants to do this for them. She's so brave.

I bet she wants to pull her hair out, too. That is, if it's grown back in since her last chemo treatments....

What Can You Say When a Friend Faces a Recurrence?

I was checking my inbox the other day and found a disturbing email. The subject line on the email simply said, "It's back." I knew immediately what that meant. 

The sender of the email was a friend I'd never had the pleasure of meeting in person. Instead, we'd found each other through a breast cancer website. Shortly after we were diagnosed, as fate would have it, our paths crossed. 

We shared so many similarities. Both diagnosed in the same year, we had the same type cancer, the same stage, and the same grade. We were both mothers although my children were grown and hers were not. We shared a love of similar interests and hobbies.

Instantly, as we corresponded, we clicked. 

Through our online blogs, we were able to compare notes and keep up with each others lives. It was fun reading about each other and felt almost like I had an adopted sister. Our relationship was special. And that's why I felt so helpless when I learned, through the email, that her cancer had returned. 

What could I say that wouldn't sound trite? Of course, I was sorry to learn of the news but I wanted to express my heartfelt sentiments. Since our cancer experiences had been so similar, I could almost feel the way she'd probably responded when she received the news. I imagined she felt like I would've if the shoe had been on the other foot. I would have been devastated and confused. My heart went out to her. 

Reading her blog, as she began treatment again, I learned more about her feelings. Not only did she feel betrayed by the return of cancer, she was angry.  I completely understood. And when she began to blame herself for possibly not doing something right, I knew why she felt that way, too. 

My heart broke as she told about having to go through chemotherapy again. It didn't seem fair. Hadn't she given enough the first time around? 

But with cancer, there is no fairness, there are no rules. 

What do we say when someone we love faces a recurrence of cancer? And how can a fellow survivor express compassion and empathy in a genuine way? 

One of the best things we can do is listen. Words aren't always necessary to express caring. Often, an understanding look, or a tender touch can convey the heart's deepest sentiments. 

But if words need to be shared, they should be carefully chosen. A person might say, "I'm sorry. I know this isn't what you were expecting." Or "I'm here for you, just let me know what I can do to help." 

By offering the gift of understanding to the person facing recurrence, validation occurs.

When you aren't sure what to say, it's best to say nothing at all.  

A cancer recurrence rarely comes with notice, but when the surprise comes, it makes a big difference for the person with cancer to have a support team in place. 

As I read my friend’s blog for daily updates, one thing appears in every post – evidence of her warrior spirit and personal bravery. Though she’s having to fight this war again, I know she’ll give it her all, the same way she did the first time around.

It’s challenging to cheer her on from the sidelines, but I can always lift her up in prayer, send her encouraging notes, or post supportive comments on her blog. And in so doing, I hope she’ll know I stand with her because I know she’d do the same for me should I ever face a recurrence. 

That's what we do in the world of cancer, because we've been there and we know how it feels to hear the words, you have cancer, for the first time or at any time thereafter. 

I Hate Cancer

I don't usually use the word hate. I don't like it very much, but today, I will.

Today I got an email from a friend sharing the news that one of her friends was just diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer. My friend was reaching out wanting to know how she could help this newly diagnosed friend. As I read through the email, I was not only sad, I got mad. I wasn't mad at the sender. I was mad at the disease.

Everywhere, it seems, cancer continues to invade and decimate the lives of unsuspecting men, women, and children. Every single day, I hear of another case of cancer. For some reason, once you've been diagnosed, people assume you're an instant expert on the disease and I'll admit, I have learned an awful lot over the past 5 years but there's still much to know and understand.

Naively, I keep thinking one day they'll find a cure for all forms of cancer, but when I think of how much money the big pharmaceutical companies are making from treating the disease, I doubt that's true. My heart hurts for all those who've gone the traditional medical route. Chemotherapy, radiation, and antihormone therapy wreak havoc on the body and many times cause irreparable damage. Many people don't know they have a choice not to go the traditional route and doctors don't offer them the choice. It's up to the individual to do their own research or learn of the option by word of mouth from another cancer survivor.

More than likely, cancer has been around for hundreds of years but doctors back then didn't have access to the medical information we have today. I'm sure many people died of cancer that was left undiagnosed or was misdiagnosed. And they may have lived for many, many years with the cancer growing inside their bodies while they were completely unaware that anything was wrong at all. In fact, the oncologist told me that most of the time, by the time a lump is felt, it's been growing in the body for ten years or more. That's a scary thought. How many people purposely check their bodies every day for lumps, bumps, and bruises? Not many.

All that being said, I'm completely disgusted with cancer and yes, I do hate it, but I'm also grateful for it in my own life. It's been a great teacher. It's taught me to slow down and see things differently. That may be a hard concept to grasp for some but it's true. Before cancer, I took so much for granted. Now I don't take a single moment of a single day for granted.

I do still suffer from the side effects of treatment and complications from surgery. Those are little unexpected gifts that cancer left in its wake. And while I wish I didn't have to deal with the aggravating condition of lymphedema, muscle cording, and so many other ill effects of cancer on my body, I'm just thankful to be alive.

It would be amazing to live long enough to see a cure found for cancer, but I doubt it will happen in my lifetime. In the meantime, I pray daily that none of my loved ones will ever be diagnosed. I think I will always hate cancer and I think it's okay to feel that way.