This morning, as I was unpacking from our recent move, I came across a set
of hand crocheted breast forms. I'd ordered the forms about 9 years ago from an
organization called "Knitted Knockers." The organization was formed
to help survivors of breast cancer and other breast surgeries with free breast
substitutes. Volunteers made the forms by crocheting or knitting breast forms
that could be filled with polyester fiberfill. The forms could be easily
adjusted to fit the recipient's needs by either adding or removing the amount
of fiberfill in each form. It was a wonderful concept, and I really liked the
fact that the volunteers were willing to give their time and energy for such a
worthy cause.
Breast prostheses are very expensive, especially the silicone ones. Even
with insurance, the forms can run hundreds of dollars. When my husband was
working, it wasn't a problem but since he's retired, I've had to become more
cost conscious.
Finding the forms in my drawer was a blessing, but I remembered there had
been a problem with them when I initially ordered them. The polyester fiberfill
was so lightweight, the forms weren't heavy enough to weigh my bra down. That
meant, with any movement, the bra would ride up and the forms wouldn't be in
their proper place. Instead of being on my chest, where they should rightly
reside, they would end up just beneath my collar bone and sometimes, under my
chin!
In the past, I did try to find a way of weighting the forms, so they'd stay
put. But nothing I tried worked well. I tried marbles, I tried birdseed, I
tried Play-Doh stuffed into plastic baggies and tucked beneath the fiberfill.
Besides being uncomfortable against my chest, the forms continued to shift and
move.
But today, I had a new idea.
An older friend had given me a large bag filled with black beans. She'd
received them from a government assistance program for those on fixed incomes.
Since I don't usually cook dried beans, I'd let the bag sit in my pantry for a
couple of years. I figured one day, I'd make the effort to cook them, but never
did. Since they were that old, I assumed they wouldn't be good to cook and eat,
but they might just be good for something else.
Taking the crocheted forms from my bedroom, I went into the kitchen and
removed the fiberfill. It only took a couple of minutes to pull the stuffing
out and pop it into the trashcan. I looked carefully at the forms. They'd been
masterfully crafted and the volunteer who'd made them had even sewn on a small
protective flap that could be tucked into the top of the form to hold in the
contents.
With the flap up, the bag of beans on the counter, and a box of Ziplock
bags, I got busy. I tried to guess how many beans to put in each form to make
them even but also constitute the typical B cup I'd been before surgery to
remove my breasts. It was nearly impossible to do it without a funnel. After
spilling beans all over my kitchen floor, I took a few minutes to think. There
had to be a better way.
I found a small plastic measuring cup that I used for measuring liquid Tylenol
for my grandchildren. I emptied out one form and guestimated how many cups of
beans I'd need. 8 tiny measuring cups seemed about right so I put that exact
amount in the plastic bag, zipped it up, and tucked it in the breast form. Then
I did the same for the other form. Placing a form in each hand, I weighed them
against each other. They felt perfect!
I cleaned up my mess and took the forms into my bedroom. Pulling out a
mastectomy bra, I slid a form in each of the breast pockets. Lifting the bra, I
could tell the weight was sufficient and felt very similar to my silicone
forms.
Slipping the bra on, I fastened the hook and paid attention to how the bra
felt. It didn’t' feel lumpy or uncomfortable. In fact, it felt much more
comfortable than my old silicone forms. Hmm...maybe I was on to
something.
Looking into the top of my pantry, I noticed several other bags of dried
beans. I had green and red lentils, Pinto beans, Navy beans, and Chickpeas.
Maybe the lentils would have been a little better than the black beans, but
since I eat lentils fairly often, I didn't want to waste them on the homemade
boobs, plus, it would have taken much more of the lentils to fill up each
form.
I think my invention is pretty good. The plastic will keep the beans from
sprouting with the heat of my body against them and keep them from escaping
barring bumping into something sharp. The zipper on the bag should hold well,
unless I failed to press it properly when sealing, so I should be good at least
for a few months before I need to do a self-check.
Bean boobs, ha! How funny! Necessity is definitely the mother of invention,
but you could also say survivors find ways of making things work especially
since many things related to cancer are so expensive.
I'm not ashamed to admit I did this. I'm sure there are others out there who
are more inventive than I am. Maybe I'll discover an even better process in the
future, but until then, my pantry will be my go to source. My pantry is
normally full, too. I'm a prepper at heart. But prepping doesn't just revolve
around food, water, and survival items like that. Women who've endured double
mastectomies know we only have two choices - to go flat or to wear prostheses.
I go flat most days, but when I want a little projection, beans work pretty
well.
