Journey Out of Pink

When the sun came out and the rain stayed away, I made a decision. Today I would go berry picking. The past few days, we've had heavy rain. I'd planned to go picking but knew the ground would be too soggy so I stayed home. Gathering up my bottled water, keys, purse, and phone, I headed out the door knowing my trusty GPS would guide me. I'd only braved this trip alone once before. I was surprised to see about ten cars already parked on the gravel lot outside the farm entrance. I assumed there would only be one or two cars at most since yesterday was a complete washout. Making my way up to the check in desk, I was greeted by a young girl. She wanted to know if I was there to pick strawberries or blueberries. I told her both. She handed me two baskets and pointed me in the direction of the open rows. I decided to wander down the strawberry rows first since I knew it was the end of the season and there wouldn't be many berries to pick. The rows were rain soaked and muddy. I

You never know when you're going to be blindsided. Today was my turn. As I was reading through my emails, I got notification of a friend's death. It's always hard to learn the death of someone you love but it's easier to accept when it's expected. When it's unexpected, it feels like a betrayal. This past week has been extremely difficult as I've learned of not one or two friends who've been faced with a recurrence of cancer, but 4! That's a lot and it makes me so sad. I don't understand how these sweet women get chosen to go through breast cancer again and I do not. My 6th cancerversary is coming and while I am looking forward to celebrating July 9th with great anticipation, I'm also feeling a little guilty that I'll get to celebrate while they will not. Instead of being able to revel in the fact that they're cancer free, these ladies are starting from square one. They're having to fight all over again. I can't even imagine wh

Today's been a hard day. I didn't realize why until a few minutes ago. Since waking, I've been an emotional wreck. I've cried at the drop of a hat. At first, I thought it was just hormonal but then I realized, I don't have those issues any longer. I'm long past menopause. When I walked into my office and saw my calendar hanging on the wall, the red ink just about jumped off the page. Six years ago, this was the day my life changed forever. I didn't want to think about that phone call that would forever be etched in my memory, the one that let me know I was and never had been in control of my life. Finding out I had cancer was devastating. And even after all these years, I still struggle. There are just some things that won't ever heal. It's not because I don't want them to, I do, really, I do. But it's just so hard. I've never sought counseling. I've tried to handle everything on my own. I've tried to process each feeling, each em

Our nation is in a state of civil unrest as protests continue over the recent death of George Floyd. Emotions are high and rightly so. I listened to an interview about a black woman telling how she was fearful for the lives of her teenage sons. As she talked about how she'd raised them to always be respectful and obedient, she shared she also taught them what to do just in case they were ever stopped by a policeman while driving. She said she told them to immediately place their hands on the steering wheel at the 10 and 2 position telling them not to speak unless spoken to and not to move. My heart went out to her. I couldn't imagine having to think ahead like that. What a shame... I can't wrap my head around how their can be such hate just over the color of a person's skin. I was raised to love all people no matter their race. Of course, we saw the color, that couldn't be helped, but it didn't determine whether or not we could love or accept them. People are ju