Journey Out of Pink

When can I quit cancer? I ask myself that question several times a day. I'm tired of it. For over 9 years I've been dealing with cancer and cancer related items. To say I'm over it would be an understatement.  Yesterday, I spent 4 hours at the cancer treatment center. I'd gone for a "check up." They had me come in for lab work and then I'd had to wait around for an hour so the results could be review by the doctor. Then, I had to wait even longer to see the doc.  When she finally came into the room, I thought, she's going to spend extra time with me since she was over an hour late for my appointment. I don't know where I came up with that idea because it certainly wasn't reality. I don't even think she was in the room with me for 5 minutes!  After looking at my labs and telling me my sodium was low, she quickly looked back at the ultrasound report from my last visit and asked about the enlarged lymph node in my neck they'd scanned. I to

 Yesterday, we went to visit my daughter's church. She'd invited us because she and her husband would be singing a duet and she knew I'd want to hear it. As soon as we arrived, we made our way into the sanctuary. A few minutes later, my youngest granddaughter came bounding in and squeezed into our pew slipping between my youngest daughter and I. She pulled out her little pouch with drawing materials and sat quietly waiting for the service to begin.  As her Mommy and Daddy made their way to the stage to sing, she sidled up closer to me. I was thankful for our relationship.  After the song was done and the preaching started, she began to quietly draw. I leaned over and whispered in her ear giving her an idea of something to draw. Immediately, she smile and began working on the project. When she'd completed it, she ripped the page out of her little notebook and slipped it to me.  I keep all her drawings. I've framed them since she was old enough to scribble with crayon

  A brilliant Yellow Swallowtail landed on my leg today as we sat outside on our back patio. It was such a special moment and I was extremely still for fear of interrupting its landing. At first glance, I thought it was a perfect butterfly but as I looked closer, I noticed one of its wings was broken and that made me extremely sad.  I wondered how the wing had been compromised. Had the butterfly brushed against something rough that had caught and torn the wing or had a pair of eager little hands tried to catch it and in desperation of keeping its freedom, the butterfly had sacrificed part of its wing as it got away.  The butterfly stay for several minutes before lifting off and gently soaring on the breeze. As it left, I felt my wounded heart cry out, "You're still broken, too."Though I didn't want to admit it, I knew it was true.  I'd been broken for almost 9 years, since the diagnosis of my breast cancer. Though I'd had months of deep despair, I'd also e

The week of Easter, we went on vacation. We'd planned it carefully in order to avoid all the Spring breakers who usually flock to the coast. I'm a long range planner and had reserved our beach house almost a year ago, as I do every year. Since that time, I'd been praying for good weather and a safe, relaxing trip.  The boo boo beach house The day before we were to leave, I got a call from the rental company. The house we'd reserved was going to be having a pool installed. The rental company told us there would be many workmen coming and going. There would be lots of noise. They wanted to know if we would be okay with that or if we'd prefer to be moved to another beach house. I got off the phone and was a little miffed. We'd planned this trip for a long time and now, at the very last minute, we get word that things are going to be turned upside down.  I talked with my hubby and we decided to move to another house. Several years ago, when we'd stayed on Mexico