Journey Out of Pink

 Warning: Negativity ahead!  I'm till having health issues related to the hiatal hernia repair surgery. Went in for an endoscopy yesterday and they found several growths and biopsied them. I won't hear back for about 10 days they said. I'm concerned. There's always a niggling concern of a recurrence of cancer in the back of my mind. I know God's in control and I'm doing my best to trust Him completely but sometimes, that little prickly voice of Satan whispers negativity to me. I try to tune it out by focusing more on the Word. When I get all this junk straightened out, I'll have the knee surgery. I'm barely able to walk now and have started having hip pain a good deal. If it weren't for a special off loading knee brace, I wouldn't be able to walk at all. It sucks getting old.  God's been teaching me to look for the positive in the negative lately. I don't know if I'm a good student or not. It seems He has to keep emphasizing this mess...

Gifts. I've never met anyone who didn't enjoy receiving one. For generations it's been customary to give gifts for special occasions. Most Americans give gifts for birthdays, anniversaries, and religious holidays. There's normally a lot of thought that goes into the gift giving process. One might consider a person's hobbies or interests as they choose a gift or perhaps a person has created a shareable wish list of items on Amazon or some other app. Sometimes, a gift is chosen merely because the giver thinks the receiver will enjoy it, and most times, the gift is given out of love instead of obligation. But have you ever given a gift to someone just because? Those types of gifts are so special and I'd like to tell you about one I received about 18 years ago.  At that time, I was working for a mega church in Atlanta. As a member of the church's counseling team, I had the joy of combining my faith and work daily. Our department was fairly small and led by an ex...

It was the most beautiful day today! The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and the temperatures had risen. We'd been waiting for a day like this for months it seemed, so we decided to take advantage of it. Books, water bottles, and happiness in tow, we headed to the a local park. We were going to make the most of this glorious day.  We walked several laps around the park then sat down to soak up some sun. Vitamin D is so vital to health. We sat there talking for several minutes and then started to read as the clocked ticked by. Before we knew it school was out and children started arriving. Most of them headed for the playground. Their peals of laughter made us smile. Other adults were on the trails getting their exercise in. We watched as each individual or small group passed by.  One couple caught our attention. They were a good distance from us but we could tell by their stooped stature they were an older couple. There was something between them that we couldn'...

Smack dab in the center of my refrigerator door hangs the cutest little piece of art you ever did see. Oh course, I'm a little prejudiced. It was created by my then 7 year old granddaughter, Heather.  You see, she loves art as much as I do and we enjoy creating together. Even at her tender young age, she's learned the value and power of art to minister to our souls.  At first glance, you might think her artwork isn't anything special, a few words and a lot of simple, colorful hearts but you'd be extremely wrong. Underneath those shaky primary letters and those multicolored hearts lie a whole lot of love and tenderness.  When Heather presented me with this artwork, weeks ago, she had no idea how a simple drawing would minister to me on a daily basis.  To be honest, there have been many days since we last visited that I've struggled. Not only have I had some health challenges but I've also had some down days, which is very unlike me. But the cold, rainy, gray Febr...

This past year was full of health challenges and after a couple of surgeries, I thought I was headed for a new year of better health, but things haven't gone the way I expected. Over the past month, I've struggled with even more issues, visited several doctors, and still have no answers. Friday I went to the doctor again and found out I need another endoscopy. (I've already had 4 done in the past.) When I heard the news I became very discouraged wondering if I was ever going to feel good again.  That afternoon, I spent most of the day crying and praying asking God for help. I felt so helpless and alone. I didn't want to burden my friends or family with my problems. I've always tried to be the positive one, the one with rose colored glasses. And to make matters worse I haven't been sleeping. Why am I sharing all this very personal information? Because I need prayer. I'm human. I'm weak.  We didn't go to church today because of my health issues. Instea...

These cold, dreary days are so depressing! The bare trees and gray skies exacerbate my feelings of longing. I'm ready for Spring, for the hope of new life it brings and for the anticipation of what the remainder of the year holds.  I've often wondered why God instilled in bears the instinct to hibernate in the winter. How do they know when to start fattening up on food and preparing their dens? I like to think God has put an internal clock inside them and as time draws near, He pricks them with a sense of urgency. You wouldn't think big, burly bears would need to spend months sleeping, but they do. And when their time of rest is up, they groggily come out of their dens starving. As they go in search of berries or other sustenance, their weakened state becomes strong again. They move forward ready to resume activity, mate, and bear babies.  Gray days make me want to curl up into a ball and sleep for days, but I don't. Of course, when the days are shorter, I do tend to go...

It's s funny how something as simple as a sunny day can make you feel so nostalgic. My husband and I had just finished our walk in the local cemetery and the sun was shining so brightly. I could feel the warmth on my face and it made me happy. We'd done three laps and felt good about it so we sat down on a bench to rest. As we sat there, I closed my eyes and basked in the sun. A few minutes later, John Denver's song, "Sunshine on My Shoulder" was playing in my head. I hummed along and thought back to a special memory in 1978 (or it could have been '79, my memory is not as good as it used to be..) I remembered being on a family vacation. We'd gone to a beautiful place in North Georgia called Lake Marvin. My family and I were staying for the week at a cabin owned by the Girl Scouts of America. My mother was a Girl Scout leader and had access to the cabin which was a blessing for us. Family vacations were expensive and we didn't have much money.  There we...

Kim White Recently, I watched a movie on the Angel network called Breaking into Beautiful. It's the extraordinary story of Kim White, a young woman faced with a rare, aggressive form of cancer called adrenocoritical carcinoma. It was both a heartbreaking and heartwarming story. As I watched the movie, I was dumbfounded at White's strength, courage, and determination. The movie documents her cancer fight through heartfelt videos and Instagram posts. Throughout her 6 year battle, Kim never gave up hope. She did everything in her power to beat the disease, including agreeing to try clinical trials and risky surgical procedures. The movie was raw and real. That's what made me want to watch it.  When I was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2014, the same year as Kim, I did my best to share what I was going through with family and friends. I felt it important to present a true and accurate picture of what living life with cancer was like. I never wanted to hide what I was going thr...

Yesterday we got up early and headed to our doctor's office. It was time for our routine checkups. Pulling into the parking lot, we were surprised to find it completely full. After circling around a few times, we lucked up and found a car leaving so we snagged the spot. As we approached the door to enter the building, we noticed several people wearing masks again. We looked at each other and shrugged. Though Covid still lingered, the new concern for many was influenza. We were thankful we'd had vaccines at our last visit. The doc had suggested the high dose injection, the one for old folks.  We made it up the elevator and into the waiting room. Sitting down, we noticed there were only a handful of people. We took seats and waited to be called back. Most of the people in the room were staring blankly at the huge TV screen mounted on the wall, a distraction to help ease anxiety. From our seats along the side of the room, we heard the familiar voices of "Golden Girls." A...

Today I watched the online service for my ex sister-in-law. She lived in Canada and I wasn't able to attend in person, but thankfully, her girls sent me a link so I could watch online. A lot of people may not understand caring for an ex relative. Divorce is supposed to sever all of those ties, right? But that's not always the case.  On February 1, I got a Facebook message from one of my ex nieces. She told me her mother's condition was grave and I might want to call before it was too late. I wasn't shocked by the call. For several years, her Mom had been in an assisted living facility and had been struggling with many health issues. We'd stayed in touch during that time and had been sporadically in touch since 1974 via phone or mail, but with the invention of Facebook, we touched base several times a day.  When we first met, over 50 years ago, I was thrilled. I'd never had a sister in law before. She was like a big sister to me and though she wasn't that muc...

I held my first job when I was 12 years old babysitting for a family with seven children. I don't remember exactly, but I believe I got paid a dollar an hour to watch all those kids. I babysat other children afterwards. I wanted to work and earn money so badly. Back then my family was struggling and I needed to earn money to buy necessities, but also to help my family when I could.  After getting a work permit, I got my first real job at a local department store working in their credit department as a bill collector. I wasn't cut out for that, but I worked hard at it and excelled. I went on to have several careers I enjoyed very much, including working for 5 pediatricians, 2 chiropractors, one mega church, a hair salon, and a seminary.  My favorite job of all didn't pay anything monetarily, but all the hugs and kisses I got from my four children made up for it. I loved being a mother!  I retired in 2011 and haven't really known what to do since then. My husband retired ...

Where did January go? It seems the older I get the faster the months go! Goodbye and good riddance, January! You were cold and dreary. Welcome, February, the month of love and hopefully, warmer temperatures.  This will undoubtedly be a hard month for many. Some of my friends have lost their mates. That love they thought would last a lifetime is gone. Others are longing for love. They've searched high and low but haven't found the deep, true love they're seeking. And then there's folks like me, who have been blessed with love and have grown comfortable and old with it, sometimes taking it for granted, even though they don't mean to... In each of those situations, there's one common denominator - the rarity of the gift.  The greatest gift we can give others is love. To do that, we must give of ourselves but in order to give the right kind of love, we have to love God first. The Bible tells us that is the greatest command - to love the Lord your God wit...