Journey Out of Pink

In 2014, after being diagnosed with breast cancer, I went on a quest to find alternative ways of fighting the disease. I didn't want to go through traditional treatment - surgery, chemotherapy, radiation, and then anti-hormone pills for years afterward, so I started digging. I read any and everything I could find on holistic and non traditional means of combating the disease. There was a ton of information out there and at times, my research became overwhelming. I was determined to find a way to win the battle I'd been thrust into and I was willing to do whatever I could to do it on my terms.  I found the most helpful information as I studied Chinese medicine. Some of the treatment options were pretty easy and others more difficult. I gleaned as much as I could and adopted many of the ideas hoping to extend my life for as long as possible. Some people laughed at me as I began drinking 3 or 4 glasses of organic Matcha green tea a day and they didn't understand the boundaries...

If I could kill something I would and that something would be cancer. I hate it with my entire being, especially when I learn, day after day, another friend has either been diagnosed with cancer or has found out a family member has been diagnosed.  In my office, I have a whiteboard where I keep a list of prayer concerns. Daily I watch the concerns grow as I add one after another after another name and different type of cancer. Currently, I have 15 names on that board and that's just those who've shared their news with me since January of this year! It makes me physically ill every time I get a call, text, or email with a plea for prayer. Sometimes I'm so overwhelmed I want to run away and never come back.  I've cried so many tears, I could never count them but I know God holds them all in a bottle because the Bible tells me He does. That makes me think He considers each one priceless, but tears don't fix the problem, they only relieve a little of my stress and sooth...

Today I realized I'm old. Of course, I've known it for some time, I just hated to admit it. But when notification of my 50th high school reunion popped into my email, I kind of freaked. 50 years? How could it be that long ago that I was roaming the halls of my beloved school? How could that much time have passed since I've seen so many of my oldest and dearest friends?  I used to laugh when I heard my mother in law talking about her 50th high school reunion. At that time, I thought, "Wow! She's really old!" Instead, I should have been thinking, "How wonderful to have lived long enough to attend such a milestone event." I was very naive back then.  Our school has changed so much over the past 50 years. I've driven by several times since 1975 and have made a mental note of each visible change. In some ways, it looks the same, but in others it doesn't. The demographics of that area have drastically changed since I was a student there. Back then,...

Grandchildren are such a blessing, to me, they're like bonus children because they're the children of my children.  I began my family at the age of 19. I was young and inexperienced but did the best I could. I stayed at home as long as I could before getting a full time job. That's when things got hard. Juggling work and a family of little ones was challenging and though I did my best to give them quality time, it seemed there were never enough hours in the day. I would have loved to have had time to sit and play games with them for hours, laugh at silly cartoons, or do other things they enjoyed, but it seemed we were always running. In the blink of an eye, they were grown and gone. Time had escaped and there was no calling it back.  But now I have the gift of 9 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren! I don't get to see any of them at the same time, but whenever possible, I relish spending time with the ones who're available.  Last week, I got to see my youngest gr...

In the 6th grade, we had so many students the school decided to house all of us in one large classroom, but to make the classes more manageable, that huge group of students was divided into 3 separate units, each taught by a separate teacher. Each teacher specialized in a certain area, and they would tag team teach. We had our assigned homeroom teacher but benefited from the knowledge and expertise of the other teachers, too.  Mrs. Compton, Mrs. Lee, and Mrs. Sass were the names of the teachers. I was assigned to Mrs. Compton’s class. I was thankful because she was my favorite of all three. She was younger and prettier. And back then, role models were important as we grew in our identities.  Back then, teachers wanted their students to learn. They wanted us to master each concept taught and did their best to help us accomplish that, but sometimes, we struggled. For me, struggles came with math, while English and Social Studies were easy.  Our teachers were kin...

This is the time of year when many people suffer from S.A.D. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) Basically what it means is that because of the shorter days, colder temps, and lack of exposure to sunlight vitamin D levels drop. This drop can cause feelings of depression/sadness.  I'll admit, I've felt it this past week. It's been so cold outside we've stayed huddled up indoors. Doing so has limited our contact with others and that adds to feelings or isolation and depression. This is a hard thing to accept, especially when you're a person who enjoys being outside going and doing.  There are ways to combat S.A.D. like installing special light bulbs in your light fixtures, but those can be expensive. What I've found works for me is taking time to sit near a window or door during the warmest part of the day. As I allow sunlight to filter down on me, I not only feel the warmth, I can bask in the light. Typically, I'll close my eyes and use that time to reflect on the ...

We got our first snow of the year on Friday January the 10th and the second one began on the 19th as we were traveling. Snow in Georgia is not a common occurrence so whenever it happens, we either go crazy or love it. I'm in the latter category. I love seeing a beautiful white blanket of snow. It always makes me feel so peaceful and serene. While I don't enjoy the cold that goes with it, I do enjoy the beauty of it.  It has been extremely cold here for the past few days and we have needed to drip our water to keep our pipes from freezing. This is not something we normally do, but if you've ever had a busted water pipe, you take precautions to prevent it from happening again.  As I was perusing social media today, I was surprised to find several of my friends scattered across the country who have gotten more snow than ever expected for their area. One in particular lives in Pensacola, Florida. I was surprised to see that she had gotten 6 in of snow overnight. Ano...

This weekend we had the privilege of celebrating our great grandson's first birthday. It was a joyful event and we were so proud to be invited to be a part of it.  It's hard to believe we're now great grandparents! Just saying that makes me feel so old! I never dreamed, when I had my first child at 19 that I'd have great grandchildren 49 years later, but I'm kind of glad I started my family early. Some people aren't great grandparents until they're close to 80 or 90. We're the lucky ones! At least we're still in possession of our mental faculties, that's a huge plus.  I used to look at old black and white photos of family members when I was a child - you know, the ones with a dozen or more people in them? I marveled, as I looked at each face, how much each family member resembled another. I can see some of that in this photo, too.  I don't think kids nowadays think about bloodlines much. I don't think they value the importance of family e...

Have you ever felt like a deep sea diver in an old fashioned iron suit trudging across the depths of the ocean floor? Have you ever felt so heavy you could hardly breathe? If you have, you're probably bearing burdens you don't need to bear. I'm going to preach to myself today regarding these issues.  When we allow toxic people into our lives, they can steal our joy causing us to feel smothered and burdened beyond measure. Without realizing it, we can let in unwanted pain and suffering.  So what can we do when we're facing a situation like this? One of the best things I've found is to put up an invisible barrier. That may mean putting your phone on do not disturb, seeking at a place of refuge, or spending time in silence.  Stilling your mind isn't always easy. In fact, for me, it's very hard work. Thankfully, my husband is my guardian. He knows when I'm overly stressed. He sees it on my face. He knows when my lip begins to tremble and the tears begin to f...

  Many of you know I have a grandson serving in the Army. Though he's fairly young, he achieved the rank of Captain late last year. Now he is in charge of over 200 soldiers. That astounds me. When I was 26, I couldn't imagine having that much responsibility. I still see this grandson as a young boy, laughing and giggling playing silly games with his brothers. Back then, we had no idea what he'd do when he grew up but we certainly didn't think he'd be in a position of power. As an officer, he can issue commands to his charges. In my mind's eye, I see him filing through a barracks gaining immediate salutes as the lower ranking soldiers show respect. And after walking about halfway through the rows of soldiers, I can just hear his voice calling out with authority, "Stand at ease, soldiers." Stand at ease. We've all seen movies where the soldiers are given this command. Normally they assume a certain position that's more relaxed with arms behind th...

  On Friday we got the most beautiful snow! I'd been waiting for it and when it arrived, I was thrilled. I love seeing those fluffy, white flakes fall from the sky. I was thankful the weather predictions were on target, they usually aren't when it comes to winter weather here, but this time, they did good!  We were ready. We'd purchased a dump truck load of split red and white oak the day before in anticipation of the cold weather. My husband I worked hard to get all the wood stacked and covered. We couldn't wait to build our first fire of the season in our new house! Having a blazing fire on a winter's day was so comforting and we'd enjoyed many over the past years at our other homes.  We'd also pulled out the antique glass lanterns, purchased new lamp oil and wicks. Power outages are common in this area when there's snow or ice and we didn't want to be off guard.  We had a charcoal grill, charcoal and lighter fluid at the ready, too. If the power f...

How I long for solitude, a day for myself, without interruption of any kind. But I never get it. If I could, right now, I'd be on a mountain top looking toward the sun. There would be complete silence. A soft breeze would caress my check and the warmth of the sun would kiss my face.  I get so tired of noise. Daily, I'm bombarded by pings from my cell phone or the blaring from the TV. My mind struggles for peace. I crave it.  And so, I isolate myself. It's a self imposed protective measure. And when I can't find a place to be alone, I slip in noise cancelling ear buds, a wonderful gift from my youngest daughter. She has no idea how they've helped me survive living in a house with a hearing impaired mate.  I feel selfish today. I know I'm his world but sometimes, I feel smothered. He hovers and that's when I feel the need to escape.  I love him with all my heart but we're so different. He thrives in the noise while I want to hide from it.  What's wrong...

  Are you a season hopper? (I don't know if that's a real term, but it's one I made up for this post.) What's a season hopper, you may ask, I believe it's someone who lives from one season or holiday to the next. They get geared up for one and as soon as it passes, they're working on readying themselves for another. As they do, they often face a myriad of emotions. There's sadness at the passing of the last event and there's excitement or joy at the one coming. Why do we do this?    I think commercialism has a lot to do with it. We are bombarded by "stuff" each time we shop. Take Hobby Lobby, for instance, it's one of my favorite stores but sometimes I don't like going in there. For example, on my most recent visit, all the Christmas items were on clearance and they already had Valentine's Day and St. Patrick's Day things out. Not only do I find all the seasonal items overwhelming, but sometimes I wonder why people feel compelle...

We were barely through with the first week of the New Year when the weather began to get ugly. Listening to weather reports, we were shocked to find we were in for the first snowfall of the year. In the South, we don’t get snow often so when weathermen say, “Get ready!” we do. We bought a load of firewood, gathered oil lamps and oil, made sure we had some charcoal on hand in case our power went out and we needed a cooking source. Over the years, we’ve weathered several ice storms and even a blizzard or two. Though those aren’t regular occurrences in our area, they do come and when they do, people act crazy. They run to the store for bread and milk. They gas up their cars, just in case, and like us, many of them hunker down until the nasty, cold weather passes. But when it only snows here, it’s beautiful! Looking out the window at our yard covered in white is so peaceful and serene. We weren’t expecting much snow, only a dusting, but instead we were surprised to get about 5 inches! ...

Today, I'm remembering a conversation I had with my oldest daughter about 10 years ago. At that time, I was shocked at what she shared. She'd been having a conversation with her oldest son (he's 18 now) when he looked up at her and said, "Mom, what will you do when you get old?" She thought about it for a few minutes and responded with an "I don't know." Then he said, "Will you be like Gigi (that's me)? Will you just spend all your days cleaning?"    As she shared that with me, my first thought was to laugh. You know, out of the mouths of babes and all, but then I thought, what kind of legacy am I leaving for my grandchildren. Of course, this grandson has seen my house and knows it's always clean (yes, I'm a clean freak) but do I really want to be known as a Martha????   For those of you who don't know, I'm speaking of Martha in the Bible. Martha was one of the sisters of Lazarus, the man Jesus raised from the dead after...

  I hate jigsaw puzzles. I have no patience for them. Opening a puzzle box and seeing a 1000 or more pieces of jagged edge images unnerves me. Even though I can look at the photo on the box of what the completed puzzle is supposed to look like, I don't like seeing the loose pieces.My husband, on the other hand, loves them. He can sit for hours at a time working on finding just the right place for a specific piece. He tries to get me to join him in working puzzles, but I can't. I get frustrated too easily and after a few attempts at slipping a piece into place only to have it not fit drives me crazy. So much so that I want to dump the whole board and send the pieces flying.    I bet you were shocked to read that, weren't you? You thought I was the most patient person in the world, didn't you? Normally, I am, but with puzzles, it's a different story. I want to see the finished piece, not the puzzle in tiny increments.    And that's also true with my life. I like k...

Dear Bonnie,  This is the 7th day of the New Year and it's time to take a quick look back before marching forward.  Do you remember when you had your first brush with death? The year was 1970 and your gallbladder burst. You were only 13. Gangrene was coursing through your body as the surgeon worked quickly to remove that organ. You were in the hospital for over a week and went through an entire year of medical treatment afterward to survive. During that time, you grew to understand what true physical pain felt like for the first time in your life. In 1990, you had your second brush with death when you were involved in a serious motor vehicle accident. Your right leg was almost severed. After a radical surgery, a week in the hospital and treatment you went home in a wheelchair, physically and emotionally broken. Your marriage had fallen apart, you had 4 young children to raise alone, and you were devastated. You were unable to walk for over a year. The doctors thought they ...

My stars, am I tired! This day has been so busy and to think, it started with one small cup of coffee.  I don't know what it is, but caffeine gives me so much energy I shouldn't ever drink it. When I do, it's like I'm a 78 record spinning faster and faster on the turntable (yeh, I'm that old!)  I didn't realize how tired I was until I sat down to post and now that I'm seated, my body is saying, "What the heck is wrong with you???!" After making breakfast and having that cuppa this morning, I kicked it into overdrive. I mopped the floor, did a load of laundry and dishes, baked 3 loaves of bread, made Valentine's day cards, painted a canvas, took care of some business matters - scheduling doctors' appointments, checking on vacation plans, message some friends, wrote to my prisoners (I'm part of a prison ministry), took some photos, read my Bible and a devotional book, and as soon as I sat down to take a breather, a friend called and kept ...

  Today's been one of "those" days, a day when it seemed Satan was on the prowl in our household big time. Any and everything that could go wrong did but we knew why.    Have you ever had one of those days? A day when you purpose in your heart to start the day out right worshiping God and focusing on Him and then WHAM! Out of nowhere a huge trial came your way? I've had it happen many times in the past and that's why, as soon as today's issue began, I could tell it was spiritual warfare.    As believers, it's important for us to know and understand the wiles of the devil. The Bible says he prowls about like a roaring lion. And if you've ever watched National Geographic episodes on nature and have seen some of those African plains, you know lions are cunning. They often lie in wait hidden behind clumps of tall stalks of grass seeking the perfect prey. Normally, in nature, they choose the weak or lame animals- the most vulnerable, and Satan does the same...