Busted in the Backyard

Before I married my first husband, David and I spent a lot of time visiting his cousin Pat and her husband Ron. They were fun people, and their backyard featured what seemed like the greatest luxury imaginable on a sweltering Georgia summer night, an above-ground swimming pool.

One particular evening, after the four of us had spent hours talking and laughing, Pat and Ron announced they were heading to bed. David and I exchanged a glance. The night air was thick with humidity, and the pool water looked inviting beneath the moonlight. Somewhere between youthful courage and questionable judgment, David suggested we go for a late-night swim. Then he added two words that nearly stopped my heart: "skinny dipping."

I had never done such a thing in my life. The very idea made me nervous. But David was persuasive, and eventually I agreed. We waited until we were absolutely certain Pat and Ron were asleep. Like a pair of amateur spies, we tiptoed across the backyard, trying not to make a sound. We slipped into the cool water and congratulated ourselves on our successful mission. There we were, floating beneath the stars, feeling quite clever and certain we'd gotten away with our little adventure.

For about twenty minutes, everything went according to plan.

Then suddenly, without warning, the backyard security light blazed to life.

One second we were hidden in darkness. The next, we were illuminated like the grand opening of a new department store. Every ounce of confidence instantly evaporated. I froze. David froze. We stared toward the house, and there stood Pat, who had apparently heard enough suspicious splashing to investigate.

I have never moved so fast in my entire life.

To this day, I don't remember exactly how I got out of that pool, gathered my dignity, and found my clothes. I only remember being absolutely mortified while Pat laughed so hard she could barely stand up. As for David, he thought the whole thing was hilarious.

Years have passed since that summer night, and thankfully my embarrassment has faded. What remains is a memory that still makes me smile. It's funny how life works. The moments we wish would disappear forever often become the stories we laugh about the longest. And while I wouldn't necessarily recommend skinny dipping in your relatives' swimming pool, I can testify that nothing creates a lasting family story quite like getting caught red-handed, or in our case, caught completely uncovered.  

(Graphic created with AI)

The tattoo that carried me through cancer

Certain images stay with us throughout our lives, quietly shaping the way we see ourselves and the way we endure hardships. For me, that image was the phoenix, a mythical bird said to rise from its own ashes, reborn stronger than before.

I first learned about the legend of the phoenix when I was in elementary school. Even as a child, I was fascinated by the idea of a creature that could survive destruction and emerge renewed. There was something powerful and comforting in the symbolism, although at the time I could not have known how deeply that image would one day matter to me.

As the years passed, life carried me through adulthood with all its joys, responsibilities, disappointments, and uncertainties. Like most people, I experienced moments that tested my strength. Some trials were small and fleeting, while others left lasting scars. Yet somehow, the image of the phoenix always lingered quietly in the back of my mind.

Years later, while trying to decide on a meaningful tattoo design, I remembered that legendary bird from my childhood. I wanted something personal, something symbolic, something that represented resilience and hope. After much thought, I decided to have a phoenix tattooed on my chest just above my left breast.

At the time, I saw it as a reminder that no matter what hardships life brought my way, I would always rise above them. Every time I looked in the mirror and saw that tattoo, I felt encouraged. It became more than artwork on my skin. It became a declaration of strength, perseverance, and survival.

What I did not know then was how profoundly that symbol would one day speak into my life.

In 2014, breast cancer entered my world.

No one is ever truly prepared to hear the word “cancer.” It changes the atmosphere in the room instantly. One moment, life feels predictable, and the next, everything becomes uncertain. Fear arrives quickly, often before you even have time to process what is happening. Questions flood your mind. What happens next? How bad is it? Am I going to survive this?

I remember the emotional whirlwind that followed my diagnosis. There were doctor appointments, tests, scans, consultations, and difficult conversations. There were moments when I felt overwhelmed by fear and exhaustion. Cancer does not just attack the body. It attacks the mind and spirit as well. It can make even the strongest person feel vulnerable.

But during that season of my life, something remarkable happened.

That phoenix tattoo, the one I had chosen years before, simply because its story inspired me, suddenly took on an entirely new meaning. Every time I looked at it, I was reminded that the phoenix survived the fire. It rises from devastation. It does not stay buried in ashes.

Some people might see a tattoo as merely decorative, but for me, it became deeply personal during my cancer journey. It was no longer just a symbol I admired. It became a visible reminder that I was stronger than my fear. It reminded me daily that hardship does not have to define the outcome of a person’s life.

There were difficult days, of course. Cancer treatment is not glamorous, no matter how positively someone tries to face it. There is physical pain, emotional fatigue, uncertainty, and moments of discouragement that can creep in unexpectedly. There are days when your body no longer feels like your own. There are moments when you look in the mirror and barely recognize the person staring back at you.

Breast cancer can especially affect the way a woman sees herself. It touches something deeply connected to identity, femininity, and confidence. There are emotional wounds that accompany the physical battle, and many women quietly carry those burdens while trying to remain strong for everyone around them.

Yet through all of it, that image of the phoenix remained close to my heart, literally and figuratively.

I began to realize that surviving cancer is not only about enduring treatments or making it through surgery. It is also about learning how to rise emotionally and spiritually through the experience. It is about refusing to surrender your hope. It is about choosing courage even when fear feels overwhelming.

The phoenix reminded me that fire does not always destroy. Sometimes it transforms.

That perspective changed the way I approached my battle with cancer. Instead of seeing myself solely as a victim of circumstances, I began to see myself as someone capable of rising through adversity. The tattoo on my chest became a quiet source of determination during some of the hardest days of my life.

There is something incredibly powerful about symbols. Sometimes a simple image can anchor us when everything else feels unstable. It can become a source of comfort, motivation, and identity. For me, the phoenix represented survival long before cancer entered my life, but afterward, it represented something even greater. It represented victory.

Now, almost twelve years later, I am still here.

Those words carry more weight than many people realize. Cancer has a way of making you appreciate time differently. The ordinary moments become extraordinary. You learn not to take simple blessings for granted. A peaceful morning, laughter with loved ones, a quiet sunset, or even an uneventful day can suddenly feel precious.

Surviving cancer also changes your understanding of strength. Before my diagnosis, I thought strength meant never being afraid. But cancer taught me that real strength often exists alongside fear. Courage is not the absence of fear. It is continuing to move forward despite it.

Looking back now, I realize the most important lesson I learned was not merely how to fight, but how to rise.

Anyone can face hardship because hardship eventually comes to all of us in one form or another. Some battles are physical, some emotional, and some spiritual. What matters most is not the existence of the trial itself, but the way we respond to it. We may not always control what enters our lives, but we do have the power to decide whether we will remain buried beneath the ashes or rise from them.

That is what the phoenix ultimately came to mean to me.

Today, when I see that tattoo, I no longer just think about mythology or artistic symbolism. I think about survival. I think about resilience. I think about every difficult moment I endured, and every prayer whispered during sleepless nights. I think about the grace that carried me through fear and uncertainty. Most of all, I think about the blessing of still being here to tell my story.

Cancer changed my life forever, but it did not destroy me. In many ways, it revealed strengths I never knew I possessed. Like the phoenix I admired as a child, I learned that sometimes life’s fiercest fires do not consume us. Sometimes they teach us how to rise.

Remembering 12 years ago

Looking back to June 22, 2014- 

I've been through a gamut of emotions since receiving my Breast Cancer diagnosis. I've been sad, I've been angry, I've been depressed. I've been confused, I've been bewildered, I've been numb. I'm sure if I Googled "range of emotions related to Breast Cancer diagnosis" I'd receive a long list of psychological reports and studies that have been created but, I don't have to do that. I've lived through them over the past weeks. Yesterday, I dealt with anger and defeat. Today, I am adopting determination! What, you don't think determination is an emotion? Maybe not. Perhaps determination is just anger with a goal in mind, in any event, I'm headed in that direction.

Determination runs in my family. My mother always said I was very determined. If there were cookies in the jar and I wanted one, even if I'd been told not to touch them, I would figure out a way to reach that jar and grab a cookie. As a child, if you told me I couldn't do something, I went about proving that I could. As an adult, if I was told I couldn't do something, I took on the challenge and found a way to prove the naysayers wrong. I guess you could say the characteristics of determination have been part of my character from the very beginning. I know my strengths and weaknesses. I know how to set goals and achieve them.

I see determination in my children, too. When Laura, my middle daughter, was a child, she portrayed her determination in what Dr. James Dobson liked to call a "strong willed child." From the time she was an infant, we knew she was different. Some said she had a big temper and used it to get what she wanted, but I knew she was just determined. She knew exactly what she wanted and she was going to find a way to get it. We used to laugh when she'd kick and scream and cry in frustration at not being able to do what she wanted to do. But her determination has taken her through challenges in life and she's turned out just fine.

This morning, I watched my granddaughter, Heather, as she tried to get the child lock off of my kitchen cabinet door. She shook it and pulled on it, trying her best to figure out a way to make it let go. I could see the determination in her face as her little lip was pulled back and held tight by tiny baby teeth.  Laura looked down at her and said "she's determined to get that thing off!" I smiled knowing that determination indeed has passed from one generation to another. Determination isn't a bad character trait to have, is it?

Like a horse with blinders on, determination has caused me to see the finish line. I see myself headed toward the gate. Today, I'm going to "pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again!" I am determined to get through this Cancer journey and do it well.

My life has suddenly gone from black and white to hi-res color. Instead of focusing on the entire journey ahead, I've decided to live in the moment. A dear friend told me recently that wherever I am, that's where I'll be. She said I need to take a look at my feet and realize that at that very moment in time, I am in that place and nothing but that time and place matter. I have never thought of living life that way before. I've always been a long range planner, a goal setter, a mover and a shaker. Can I learn to live in the moment? I think I can.

As I look down at my feet right now, I see that I am in my office. My feet are firmly planted in the lush carpet of my home. Underneath the carpet is a solid foundation of cement, the slab of my home. Underneath the slab is the beautiful grass covered earth that God created and underneath all of that, is the solid rock of Jesus Christ. He is the only foundation that is unmoveable and unshakeable. No amount of determination can ever change the fact that He holds me firmly in the palm of His mighty hands.

The dog days are over! It's time to move full steam ahead. Determination is going to carry me forward, over, around, under, and through the next stage of my journey. Cancer you may think you've won. You may think you're going to run rampant through my body but I say no! I am going to fight you with everything that is within me. You have no idea what kind of fight I'm going to give you! Radiation, bring it on. Hormone therapy...got that. And if, and when, I'm told I have to have Chemo, well...I'll push through it too.

We are a family of fighters. We are determined. We find a way. I'm not going down without a fight and I'm not going to allow myself to feel defeated again.

"I press on toward the goal to win the [supreme and heavenly] prize to which God in Christ Jesus is calling us upward." Philippians 3:14

"But the firm foundation of (laid by) God stands, sure and unshaken, bearing this seal (inscription): The Lord knows those who are His, and, Let everyone who names [himself by] the name of the Lord give up all iniquity and stand aloof from it." 2 Timothy 2:19

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9-10

Epilogue

Looking back now, I smile when I read these words. At the time, I had no idea what the journey ahead would require of me. There would be surgeries, treatments, exhaustion, tears, and victories I couldn't yet imagine. There would be days when determination carried me and days when only God's strength was enough.

But the woman who wrote these words on June 22, 2014, was right about one thing—she wasn't going down without a fight.

Cancer didn't have the final word.

God did.

Today, I live with gratitude that only a survivor can fully understand. Every ordinary morning, every family gathering, every devotional I write, every photograph I take, and every grandchild's laugh reminds me that life is a gift. The determination that carried me through treatment has become something even stronger: quiet confidence in the faithfulness of God.

He never left me. Not once.

The Gift of an Unhurried Season

"They will still bear fruit in old age, they will stay fresh and green." — Psalm 92:14 (NIV)

When I was younger, I never imagined this season of life.

Back then, my days were full. There were children to raise, jobs to work, meals to cook, appointments to keep, and endless responsibilities demanding my attention. I often longed for a slower pace, certain that one day I would appreciate having fewer obligations.

Then that day arrived.

Now, retired and nearing seventy, I sometimes look around and wonder, Is this all there is? The housework gets done. A book is read. Perhaps a trip is planned now and then. Family and dear friends live miles away. The calendar that once overflowed with commitments now contains wide stretches of quiet.

To be honest, this season can feel strange.

What am I supposed to do now?

But perhaps I'm asking the wrong question.

Maybe this season isn't about doing more. Maybe it's about being more aware of God's presence in the ordinary moments. Perhaps this quieter chapter is not an indication that my usefulness has ended, but an invitation to rest in ways I never allowed myself to before.

God never intended our value to be measured by busyness. The psalmist reminds us that we can still bear fruit in old age. Fruit doesn't always look like activity. Sometimes it looks like wisdom shared over coffee, prayers whispered for those we love, encouragement offered through a handwritten note, hospitality extended to a lonely neighbor, or simply cultivating gratitude in the everyday rhythms of life.

I wonder if this season is, in part, God's gracious reward after years of faithful labor. Not retirement from purpose, but retirement from striving. A chance to breathe deeply. To notice the lightning bugs at dusk. To linger over morning devotions. To watch the changing seasons and recognize that God is present in every one of them.

The truth is, I may not run at the pace I once did, but I can still walk closely with the Lord.

And perhaps that has been His invitation all along.

If you find yourself in a quieter season, don't mistake stillness for insignificance. God wastes nothing—not even the slower chapters. There is beauty to be found here, purpose yet to be discovered, and fruit still to bear.

The God who guided us through the busy years will also teach us how to live faithfully in the unhurried ones.

Heavenly Father, thank You for being present in every season of life. When I struggle to understand this quieter chapter, remind me that my worth has never depended on how busy I am. Teach me to embrace the gifts You have placed before me today—the gift of rest, the gift of reflection, and the gift of time spent in Your presence. Show me the ways I can continue to bear fruit and encourage others, even if it looks different than it once did. Help me to trust that You still have purpose for my days and joy waiting to be discovered in the ordinary moments. May I walk into this season with gratitude, hope, and confidence that You are not finished writing my story. In Jesus' name, Amen.

It's been a while

My goodness! I didn't realize it been so long since I had written a blog post. But life has a way of happening and moving recently is my valid excuse. Hopefully, things are starting to slow down a little and I can start posting more. 

I can't even begin to tell you all the things that we've been doing but I'll try to focus on the most recent trip. This one wasn't a long way away, but it was still fun. 

We went to a local peach orchard and enjoyed watching the sorting and washing process. It's amazing that they can make machines to do just about anything these days. After we visited the market part of the farm, we drove to the orchard and of course I took a good bit of pictures. 

Peaches always remind me of my daddy. He loved peaches and especially loved peach ice cream. I remember as a child, we would take turns with our neighbors making homemade ice cream. They had an old wooden crank machine. Our little arms would get so tired turning and turning that crank, but we love the end result. 

I can still visualize the salt and ice packed around the edges of the center container of the ice cream machine. Watching that ice slowly melt as the salt press down on it was amazing. 

What was even more fun was when we all got to sit down and chairs and enjoy the fruit of our labor. That peach ice cream was delicious! 

I can almost hear the laughter from my brother and sister and our neighbors - Charles Jesse, Lee and Ray. Those summer nights were so special. 

I love how smelling or tasting something can instantly transport me back to the past. I hope I never forget any of those sweet memories, especially the nights when we turned peach ice cream.