A little ingenuity

They say "necessity is the mother of invention" and I believe it's true. I couldn't help but think of this saying as I began packing for our upcoming trip to the beach. Beaches mean swimming and swimming means you need a bathing suit and what am I going to do? Number one, I don't have a bathing suit because I don't like to wear them in public and number two, I don't know how you swim with prostheses....The more I thought about it, the more concerned I became and the more I realized I had to come up with a solution. I'm sure they sell prosthetic breast forms made specifically for swimming but I don't have any of those and I'm sure they're very expensive. I bet I can come up with something, I thought to myself and then I got an idea.

My daughter and I were out shopping. We were perusing the aisles of T.J.Maxx for items we needed for our trip. As we went down the women's clothing aisle, we passed one of those U shaped neck pillows. Someone had apparently laid it down in the wrong place because it didn't belong with the women's pajamas. I picked it up and looked at it. The fabric was covered in red hearts and it was a cute print. I held it in my hands and marveled at how light weight it was. I wondered what it was made of so I looked closely at the tag. The tag said it contained microbeads. What are microbeads? I didn't really know, so I looked it up. The internet said they are tiny particles made from Styrofoam. Styrofoam floats! AHA!!! I bought that little U shaped pillow and took it home. I had a plan.

When I got home, I pulled the neck pillow out of my bag. I went into my sewing room and got a pair of scissors and walked back to my kitchen table. Opening up the neck pillow at one end, I was immediately sorry I did it. Millions of teeny, tiny little Styrofoam beads poofed up into the air. They were suddenly all over my kitchen! Thankfully, I was able to pinch the neck of the pillow closed and contain the rest of the beads before they escaped.

I took one of my breast forms out of my bra and got a piece of paper. I traced around the form and took my "pattern" into my sewing room where I cut out two pieces of fabric. I sewed the pieces together leaving a small opening at one end for stuffing. When I'd sewn both breast forms, I brought them into the kitchen for filling. I took a small measuring cup and scooped a cup full of microbeads from the neck pillow. They clung to the sides of the measuring cup and some spilled out onto the floor. It was very difficult to get the microbeads into the new breast form but I was diligent and patient. After getting a "pleasing" amount of beads into the form, I handed it to my husband and asked him to feel how light it was. He held it in his hands and said it felt like air. I filled up the other breast form and went back into my sewing room to sew up the openings. When I'd completed the sewing, I took my new microbead boobs and slipped them into my bra. They were extremely light and I barely knew I had anything on at all! I was very pleased with the result and wondered how these lightweight breast forms would do in a bathing suit and in water.

The breast forms are packed in my suitcase and ready to go. In a few days, we'll be on our way and the new microbead boobs will get their first test run. I'm hoping they'll stay in the suit and not become little floating buoys. I'd hate to have to yell at a little kid, "Hey! Give me back my boob!" I'm sure the child would be mortified and the parents would probably think I was a kook. So we shall see how these feathery light forms hold up. I'll give you a report when I get back but until then, remember..."necessity is the mother of invention." If you have a problem, think about it and I'm sure you can come up with a solution that works for you, too!

© bonnie annis all rights reserved

Washing the toxins away

The sign outside my treatment room

Another day of Lymphedema therapy! I am so tired of going for these appointments. The frustration comes from not only having to drive an hour each way to the Piedmont Hospital Physical Therapy/Rehab Center but also from having to lay on the treatment table for an hour while the therapist does her thing. I feel really weird having a woman rubbing and massaging my body parts! That's probably why I've never gone for a professional massage in my whole 58 years of life. I know massage is supposed to be really good for you and is supposed to be a great way to receive relaxation for overworked muscles but if I had my way, a man would be working on me! Lisa, my CLT (Certified Lymphedema Therapist) is nice. She's kind, caring, and personable. If we didn't have a professional relationship, she'd probably be a good friend of mine but as fate would have it, she'll only be in my life a short time to help me with post breast cancer side effects.

My lovely treatment "bed"

The drive to the rehab center was uneventful this morning, but thankfully there wasn't a lot of traffic like there as on Monday. I enjoyed meandering through the countryside and seeing all the beautiful farm land between my town and the hospital area. There are some beautiful old barns and a lot of pretty wildflowers. My thoughts wandered as I was driving and the time passed fairly quickly. Before I knew it, I had arrived and was parking in the lot next to the rehab center. I signed in and took my seat glancing around the waiting room to see how many people were waiting for treatment. There was an oriental woman with a laptop busy making her to-do list shorter. I overheard her conversations because she wasn't shy about speaking on her cell phone in public. I learned she had termites in her home and was trying to find out what to do to get rid of them. She also was trying to make appointments with appliance repairmen to come to her home. They didn't have appointment times she preferred so she said she'd call them back. Although it was evident she was used to working diligently to get things done, she sounded frantic and scared, poor thing! There was a woman newly diagnosed with Diabetes who'd come in for a class on how to eat properly without sugar, a woman with an evident leg injury, and a woman in severe back pain. I watched as she tried to walk to the restroom and I hurt for her as she hunched over taking one painful step after another. The woman who really touched my heart was one with Lymphedema in both arms (just like me). Her arms were HUGE and I had to thank God mine weren't even close to being as bad as hers. Poor thing! She probably was very self conscious. She'd had to wear a sleeveless shirt because of the girth of her arms. As I continued to people watch, my therapist walked into the room and nodded toward me. She smiled and asked if I was ready. I shook my head and told her yes. She was assisting a young man on a walker and asked me to go ahead to the room and get my hospital gown on, so I did. A few minutes later, she appeared and got to work. 

Me in my hospital gown

As she worked on my arms, we talked. I learned her husband works for Delta as a flight instructor and she'd been an occupational therapist for 28 years but had just begun specializing in Lymphatic massage a few years earlier. She had two children in college, a sister and several brothers. Her parents lived in Daytona Beach, Florida, and her in laws lived in New York. It's amazing how much people enjoy talking about themselves! All you have to do is give them a little encouragement and they'll talk for a long time. I guess that's one of the reasons I've always enjoyed counseling...I love listening to others talk about themselves.

Our hour went by quickly and as the time ended, she made sure I knew how to do the manual lymphatic drainage at home. I assured her I felt comfortable enough to do it on my own and she wished me a good vacation and we said our goodbyes. On the way home, I started to feel extremely tired. I didn't understand why because I hadn't really done anything other than have treatment. After lunch, I looked on the internet trying to find a reason for my sudden exhaustion and was thankful when I found it natural to feel fatigue after lymphatic drainage. This is referred to as a Herx reaction or "detox reaction." As toxins are released from tissues they move to the organs to be eliminated from the body. They can cause discomfort or general feeling of yuckiness. I wish I'd known there are things you can do before treatment to help make it a little easier on your system. These are things I found on the internet that help decrease fatigue after treatment: 

Chart of the Lymphatic System

• Drinking a lot of water before AND after the lymph drainage session
• Taking "binders" as prescribed by your physician immediately after the session (e.g. charcoal)
• Drinking more water
• Light aerobic activity (e.g. walking or rebounding)
• Colonic hydrotherapy
• Drinking even more water 
• Rest

While some people report feeling amazing after moving toxins out of their bodies, others have more toxins and may feel a little less than amazing while the toxins that were mobilized are vacating. The lymph system will continue to feel the effects for 24-36 hours after treatment. 

No wonder I felt so wiped out when I got home! Who knows how many toxins had been released into my body after the lymphatic massage therapy. I called my oldest daughter, (a great self taught naturopath) and asked her what she recommended. She told me to rest and drink lots of water with lemon. She said the lemon would help eliminate the toxins from my body. So, instead of curling up on the floor like I want to and just laying there like a wet noodle for the rest of the day, I'm drinking massive amounts of water with lemon, jogging back and forth to the bathroom, and doing my best to give myself permission to not worry about cleaning house or other tasks today. Instead, I'm focusing on me and my health. Sometimes you just have to do what you need to do and let everything else fall apart...and that's okay...really, it is! Tomorrow will be a better day and I will feel more clear headed and strong. The toxins will have been eliminated and I can start all over again. Hallelujah, no more trips to the rehab center (for now anyway) and maybe, just maybe my insurance company will approve the recirculating compression pump for my arms and I can do the treatments in the comfort of my own home. Keeping my fingers and toes crossed...til tomorrow, gotta run to the potty...see ya!

Look Good Feel Better

For the past 22 months, I’d wanted to attend one of the Look Good Feel Better seminars offered for women who’ve been diagnosed with cancer; but every time a class came to a city near me, I never signed up. I don’t know why I didn’t feel comfortable enough to call and register, but I didn’t. I knew, if I went, I’d be around other breast cancer patients and survivors, but I was still hesitant. For some reason, I just couldn’t do it.

At the beginning of May, I received a bi-monthly calendar of events from my local cancer wellness center. I always look forward to receiving the calendar because there are usually interesting classes available so I flipped it open to see what was on the schedule. There were several art therapy classes, writing classes, a one hour drumming class, and several more. The one that caught my eye was the Look Good Feel Better class. I noticed the dates and realized the next one was only a week away and it was going to be held at the hospital around the corner from me. I read the little paragraph description about the class. It said the program would teach beauty techniques to women who were currently undergoing cancer treatment and help them learn to combat appearance related side effects. I realized, as I continued reading, that I really needed that class. I’d been so tired lately. The last time I looked in the mirror, I noticed dark circles under my eyes. This was evidence of many sleepless nights related to my inability to get comfortable. Although I was hesitant, I picked up the phone and made myself call to sign up for the class. Registration was fairly simple. A woman from the American Cancer Society (partners in the Look Good Feel Better program) asked me questions about my diagnosis and treatment then took some demographic information. She asked what color I would consider my complexion and asked me to use one of the words – light, medium, dark, or very dark. I told her I would consider my skin tone to be light. She jotted down the information and gave me instructions on how to find the class.

Before class began

The following week, on the morning of the class, it was pouring down rain. Great…just what I needed, a reason not to go. I rolled over in bed and closed my eyes. I lay there a few minutes enjoying the sound of the thunder outside and then realized I needed to keep my commitment. As much as I hated to do it, I made myself get out of bed, shower and get dressed. Since they were going to be teaching me how to apply makeup properly, I assumed I was to go to the class without my makeup on. That was going to be a real challenge because I never go anywhere without some makeup on. I ate a quick breakfast, grabbed my purse, and headed out the door.

When I reached the hospital, I went inside and followed the directions I was given by the American Cancer Society volunteer. The staff at the hospital had no idea where the Look Good Feel Better course was going to be held and didn’t even have it on their schedule. I almost turned around and went back home but decided I was going to stick this thing out. I found another member of the hospital personnel and inquired about the class. The gentleman I had asked had no clue where to send me but asked me to wait a few minutes while he did some research. Finally, after about 15 minutes, I was told to go to the building next door and to take the elevator down to the bottom floor. The class was going to be held in the Radiation/Oncology clinic. 

 I was the first person to enter the classroom and was greeted by a friendly young woman and a portly man. I was asked to take a seat at a long conference table and fill out a registration form. As I was filling out my form, a few other women came in. They’d all had trouble locating the class, too. Only five women arrived for the class. I was glad to know it was going to be a small group and began to feel a little more comfortable. I looked around at the other women who’d come for the training. Two of the women were bald and two were wearing wigs. I was the only one with a full set of short hair. We were all in various stages of treatment. Two of the ladies were currently undergoing chemotherapy, one had just begun radiation, one had just completed radiation and then there was me…I had completed treatment for breast cancer and was now undergoing therapy for Lymphedema, a side effect from my surgery and having had lymph nodes removed. After everyone had been seated, the class began.

Helping with application

The instructor handed each of us a magenta colored bag with the words, Look Good Feel Better, inscribed in white across the front of the bag. We were instructed to check the label and make sure our complexion color was correct. I looked at my tag and sure enough, the word LIGHT was on my tag. Next we were told to open our bags. As we looked inside, we were amazed at some of the big name brand cosmetics inside. I began pulling out my items and found ESTEE LAUDER, REVLON, IT COSMETICS, DIOR, and many others. There was a complete set of makeup (foundation, powder, eye shadows, eye liner, moisturizers, eye liner, lipstick, and concealer) along with makeup brushes and sponge applicators. When everyone in the class had their products lined up in front of them at the conference table, the instructor asked anyone wearing makeup to remove it with the makeup removal cloths provided. I was able to skip that step since I wasn’t wearing make up at all.

The five attendees

We watched and listened as the instructor gave helpful hints and tips for applying makeup. Step by step each of the class members applied one product after the other until we were transformed. The instructors took time with each one of us to make sure we understood the proper application methods. With all of the makeup applied, we each looked around the room at each other and grinned. Instead of 5 worn and weathered women, we were now beautiful and glowing. Even though we were all dealing with some level of pain or discomfort, we actually did look good and feel better than we had when we’d entered the room.

My makeup goodies

After the makeup session, the instructors gave information on how to properly apply and wear a wig. They talked about the differences between human hair wigs and synthetic wigs as well as the care for each. Head coverings were next on the schedule and we watched as the male instructor demonstrated how to twist and fold scarves to make unique and fun head covers. We all laughed hysterically when he put one on his own head and pranced around the room.

Randy, our instructor

Always apply with upward strokes

The ladies chatted for a few minutes and then gathered our makeup items carefully placing them back into our magenta colored bags. The class was dismissed but right before everyone got ready to leave, I asked if one of the instructors would mind taking a group photo of the class for me. For some reason, no sooner than I’d asked the questions, tears began to flow. The instructor waited a few minutes and asked if I was okay. I don’t know where that overflow of emotion had come from…I guess I’d just realized I was finally starting to feel normal again. All of the ladies lined up for the photo and we gave our best smiles. When I took my cellphone from the instructor to look at the photo, I smiled. All of the ladies gathered round as I shared the picture with them. “Don’t we all look so good?” I said. Each one smiled and agreed the class had been a success. We all looked great and felt so much better. I’m so thankful I made myself go to the class. I don’t know what I’d been afraid of all those months prior.

My new makeup

One makeup kit is given to each woman attending the Look Good Feel Better class. If a woman is ever diagnosed with recurrence or receives a new diagnosis, she can reapply to attend another session and receive another kit. The reason, according to our class instructor, for this rule is because of the products donated by large makeup companies. They want to ensure they have enough kits for every woman who needs one to be able to receive it.

What a great program! You can learn more about it or register here: Look Better Feel Good classes. 

Boobs or no boobs, that is the question

If there was a stronger word than hate, I'd be using that word right now. Well, maybe there is...how about detest, abhor, or loathe? No, hate says it best. I hate, hate, hate going to the doctor, but today I had an appointment with my primary care physician so I had to go. Boo! So, I got up early and got a shower. I don't know why I made such an early morning appointment...note to self, don't do that again!

After my shower, I got on the scale. I wanted to see how much I weighed before I actually had to get on the scale at the doctor's office. First, I weighed without clothes and then I weighed with clothes. I was surprised to find a 2 pound difference with my clothes on. Next, I had to decide which shoes to wear. I wanted to wear some lightweight ones. I had two pair from which to choose...Crocs and leather sandals. Before putting them on, I weighed the shoes...yes, I know, a little obsessive but hey, we do whatever we can to keep the numbers on the scale as low as possible, don't we? The Crocs were the winner at just under a pound. I got back on the scale. Hmmm... with my shoes and clothes on I was up almost 3 pounds! Now, the real dilemma - should I wear my boobs or shouldn't I? I wasn't trying to be overly sensitive about my weight, but I knew my lightest weight prostheses weighed over 2 pounds. If I chose to wear my C cups, I'd be adding more than 4 pounds to my current weight. Decisions, decisions...what to do?

The last time I was at the doctor's office, he chided me on my weight. I hadn't gained anything since my last visit but he was encouraging me to try to lose weight. His reasoning was "Excess fat produces excess Estrogen in your body and the excess Estrogen feeds cancer cells." And since my specific type of cancer was fed by both Estrogen and Progesterone, I didn't want to take any chances on my body producing excess Estrogen. Since he'd given me that information, I'd become a little more concerned with watching the numbers on the scale and I'd started restricting my diet. Although I'm not currently presenting any evidence of disease; I haven't been declared cancer free. But for the next few years, all of my medical team will be watching me closely.

I put my scale back in the closet. I'd made a decision. I chose not to wear my prostheses to my appointment. Not only would I weigh less, I would be much cooler. The silicone breast forms warm up quite rapidly against my skin and make me feel uncomfortable. I don't like going sans breasts because I'm very self conscious about my appearance. But doing so would be far easier than trying to explain my dilemma to the medical assistant. I could just imagine her rolling her eyes as she held the clipboard and looked at the scale as I cleared my throat and said, "By the way, you are going to deduct 4 pounds for the weight of my prostheses aren't you?"

Why do we let our weight define us anyway? Is there really a perfect weight? Medical doctors have specific guidelines we're supposed to fall into based on our gender and height, but how many people actually fall into those ranges? In America, where food is plentiful and TVs constantly barrage us with commercials of tempting morsels, aren't we all a little overweight? If not, why do so many people slip off their shoes when it's time to get on the scale at the doctor's office? I rest my case.

© bonnie annis all rights reserved

What a day it's been! I just got home and I'm bushed. Today was my first day back to Lymphedema therapy in a little over a year. It's amazing how much things can change in a year. When I walked into their office everything looked so different. They'd remodeled so much I wasn't sure I was even in the right place and felt like I was having a senior moment! After filling out paperwork to update my file, I was taken back to the treatment area. My old therapist, Allison, had been replaced by a woman named Lisa. Lisa seemed competent and a little brusque at first, but she warmed up after we talked a little.

Cold Laser Therapy Machine

It was freezing in the therapy room as Lisa asked me to remove my blouse and let her see my scars. She didn't say anything but I could tell what she was thinking. After looking with pity at my chest for a few minutes, she asked me to lie down on the exam table. She turned to put on some soft music and dimmed the lights (I know, it's kind of freaky but they just want you to relax.) I asked Lisa if many of her patients fall asleep while they're having treatment and she said most of them do. I don't know how any of them could get comfortable enough to sleep, it was like a freezer in that room! I was shivering as Lisa donned her rubber gloves and brought the bottle of lotion over near me. She pulled up a rolling stool and warmed the lotion in her hands before applying it to my upper arms. After the lotion was in place, she began to gently massage my upper arms and chest area. As she worked on my right chest area, she was pressing a little too firmly and I had to tell her to stop. I was surprised at how tender I was in certain areas because most of the nerve endings in my chest wall are complete numb. She apologized and worked with lighter pressure working at my upper arms and along my ribcage. She asked if I'd ever had cold laser therapy and I told her no. I'd never even heard of it. She explained it's fairly new but is supposed to help break up scar tissue and penetrate deeply into the lymphatic system. She said I wouldn't feel a thing as she began the treatment and I didn't. I wondered how something you couldn't feel could do anything worthwhile but she assured me it would. Lisa continued to work on me for about 45 minutes and when she was done, I felt more relaxed and had less swelling in my upper arms. I was thankful! We went over my schedule for the next several visits and I left to go by the Orthotics and Prosthetics company, C. H. Martin. It was time for me to have my annual remeasuring and fitting for lymphedema compression sleeves.

At C.H. Martin, I was amazed that they'd changed their office too. One year makes a huge difference when it comes to change and I couldn't get over everything that has transpired since I was last here. For me, life has seemed to stand still but for everyone else, change and growth has occurred. As I sat in the waiting room, I heard the receptionist verifying my benefits. She talked so loudly and I was glad there were no other patients in the room who might overhear my personal information. She needed to be trained to respect the privacy of others, especially since she works in a medical office. I sat and waited about thirty minutes and finally was called back for my appointment.

Lymphediva compression sleeve

Sara, the fitter, was pleasantly surprised to see me. I was shocked she remembered me, but enjoyed talking and catching up with her for a little bit before we got down to business. Sara pulled my file and took measurements of both arms from wrist to shoulder. As she jotted notes in my file, she asked if I'd already picked out the patterns for the sleeves I wanted. I told her I had looked at some on the Lymphedivas website but I liked the grips better on the Juzo sleeves. The only thing I didn't like was Lymphedivas had so many more pretty patterns and Juzo had just started adding patterns to their line. If I wanted to get the best sleeves, I'd get Juzo. If I wanted the prettiest sleeves, I'd get Lymphedivas. I opted for the Juzo sleeves just because they stay up better on my arms and I don't have to constantly fight with the sleeves rolling down on me. Sara gave me a catalog so I could see the new patterns in Juzo and make my selections. Our insurance had changed since the last time I was in and I could only get 4 pair of sleeves now instead of 8. Each sleeve costs $90 so even at only 4 pair, that's a big chunk of change. I finished up with Sara about 3:30 p.m. and was ready to get some lunch and get home.

On the way home, I prayed for my appeal for the recirculating compression pump to be approved by our insurance company. If they will approve it, I can have treatments at home instead of having to drive 2 hours every other day to the treatment center and it would help so much. I guess I'll just have to keep praying and waiting. My oncologist and my breast surgeon have submitted paperwork to substantiate the claim for the pump. Now it's just a waiting game. It seems so unfair that insurance companies get to dictate what is and what is not medically necessary for their insured. I know I'm not the only one who has to deal with this type of problem but what a racket! We pay our premiums and expect to get what we pay for....the best care at the lowest cost. Since Obamacare went into effect, it's caused so many insurance companies to rethink what they will and won't pay. For someone with long term health issues this creates big problems but I guess we don't have much say in our healthcare any longer now do we? I'm thankful for the Lymphedema therapy and for the compression sleeves that help combat my daily swelling. It's amazing how Lymphedema seems to bother me much more than having my breasts removed.

I'm on a quest now to find women's blouses with looser arms so I can still look stylish but also have clothing that fits without looking sloppy. There aren't many specialty shops that cater to people suffering from Lymphedema. I may just have to start making my own tops soon. And that's all I have to report today. Life is good albeit challenging learning how to manage fatigue, insomnia, and swollen arms. I'm just so happy to still be alive!

© bonnie annis all rights reserved

My aches and pains have aches and pains

Woe is me! Have you ever wanted to say that? Well, I've always heard it said by a cartoon character in distress or on an old black and white movie...not many people use the word woe in today's language but I couldn't find a more fitting word to describe how I've been feeling and that tiny little word did a pretty good job. This morning, even before I got out of bed, I was hurting. Every muscle, every joint, every bone in my body was hurting. I felt really, really old and I just wanted to cry. I have been having more and more days like this lately and it's beginning to worry me. I've read about a lot of breast cancer patients/survivors who've developed Fibromyalgia after surgery or treatment and I'm beginning to wonder if perhaps that's what's wrong with me. I hate to say it, but I hope it's Fibromyalgia and not a recurrence of cancer...

I looked up the symptoms of Fibromyalgia online and here's what it listed:

Fatigue - yep, I've definitely got that and lots of it
Muscle aches, either widespread or limited to a specific region of the body (back of the neck, chest, shoulders and lower back) - yep, got that
Joint stiffness and pain - definitely yes
Headaches - occasionally
Memory problems - yes, having more and more of those lately too
Brain fog - yep, feeling fuzzy headed all the time
Concentration problems - ummm, yes, I thought I just mentioned that a few minutes ago
Anxiety - sometimes yes
Depression - yep, having issues with that, too
Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness - there are days when I definitely do but I try to rise about it. 

So according to what I've read and the symptoms I've been experiencing, I would be willing to bet I've got Fibromyalgia. And if what I'm feeling in my body is Fibromyalgia, I don't like it one stinkin' bit. 

The best way for me to describe whatever this is would be to ask you if you've ever had a bad case of the flu before and if you have, magnify the way your body ached and hurt by about 1,000 and you'll know how I feel. And to add a little sugar on top, throw in nightly insomnia and you get a great recipe for total suckage. (Sorry, I don't even know if that's a word but it was a very descriptive word that just popped into my brain from a storage bank somewhere and it seemed to work well for me here.) 

Waking up in tears because you're hurting so badly is not the way to start the morning and having to pop two Advil Ligui-gels before your feet even hit the floor isn't good either. But you do what you have to do to make it work and what really, really sucks is tossing and turning all night long trying to find a way to be comfortable with your big swollen arms and the mountain of pillows surrounding you and then, when you finally do fall asleep you wake about an hour later to intense pain...now that's total suckage! (Sorry, I'm kind of liking that word and I'm sure I probably heard it from one of my grandkids or off of some Austin Powers movie or something...)

Poor Pitiful Pearl

So woe is me! Woe! Yeah...woe is me. I'm feeling like poor pitiful Pearl. (She was a doll minted in 1963 and had the most homely, pitiful face.) I've decided I need to talk to my oncologist about these symptoms because they seem to be intensifying. I don't want to, but feel like I have to just in case. I'm sure he'll want to do more tests and I don't want to have to go through that but I do need relief and need it fast. 

I don't know anyone who has been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia but I've heard there are medications that help with it. I don't want another medication! I'm on too many as it is. The internet lists a lot of natural supplements and herbs to help so I'll check those out until I can get in to see the doctor again. 

If you know someone who's been through breast cancer treatment or is currently going through treatment, please be sensitive to their descriptions of their aches and pains. We don't enjoy having to complain, really we don't...but sometimes when you're in a lot of pain, that's all you can do. Fibromyalgia pain isn't easily diagnosed. There are no specific tests to definitively point doctors to a sure diagnosis. So how do they figure out if their patients have Fibromyaglia? They go through a series of experiments and tests to rule out other things first and then, if there's no other reason for the aches and pains, they give a generalized diagnosis of Fibromyalgia. So Fibromyalgia is kind of the "catch all" diagnosis for all those aches and pains that seem to appear for no reason. A lot of people don't even consider Fibromyalgia a real disease and some doctors probably look at their patients as if they're hypochondriacs. But pain is real and we can feel it and we need a solution! I'm sorry to sound like I'm gripping and complaining, I don't want to be doing that. I'm just trying to share exactly how I'm feeling so you'll understand. Breast cancer is the gift that just keeps on giving... Lymphedema, Fibromyalgia...woe is me, woe is me. (And of course, not all breast cancer patients/survivors will experience these things but a lot of us do and it sucks...)

Well, shut my mouth!

This weekend was crazy busy, but in a good way. We had company come to visit on Friday and they stayed overnight. While it's always good to see extended family, it's challenging for me to be a good hostess...not because I don't want to, but because I just don't have the energy. I did my best and hopefully they felt welcomed and loved.

On Saturday, we had more family come over for a cookout and that made for another long, but good, day. We always enjoy having my daughter, Laura, and her family come over to spend time with us. It's such fun to watch my granddaughter play and enjoy experimenting with various art mediums. She knows her Gigi will let her do just about anything and she's learned where all of my art supplies are located. This time she got to try her hand at using pastels. It was so fun to see her learn it's okay if your hands get messy and that art is fun!

Sunday, we decided to drive up to spend the day with my youngest daughter. The weather was a challenge and we ran into some big thunderstorms but it was good to spend time with her. I picked up a stomach bug from someone I'd been around over the weekend and wasn't feeling the best but managed to grin and bear it. (Having low white cell counts makes me susceptible to infection and germs.) I guess I should have limited my time around so many people but I'm trying to live my life as normally as possible and sometimes I forget my immune system is compromised.

On the way home from the visit with my youngest daughter, the bottom fell out. There were ominous dark clouds overhead and the rain was heavy and hard. We needed to stop and get gas because we were just about on empty. While hubby was filling up the car, I was checking text messages and looking at emails. It didn't take long and we were back on the road. The rain continued to pour and it began to hail. At some point, hubby glanced into the rear view mirror and noticed he'd forgotten to close the door to the gas compartment. (He does this frequently so I didn't think anything about it.) He pulled into a church parking lot and quickly dashed out into the pouring rain to close the little gas door. I felt badly for him for having to get all wet but then again, it was his fault he'd forgotten to close the door.... When he got back into the car, he said he'd forgotten to put the gas cap back on too. Suddenly, it clicked. I'd heard a noise about ten minutes prior that sounded like something rolling off the top of the car. I'd thought nothing of it because of the heavy rain. Apparently, he'd put the cap on the roof of the car while he was gassing up and had forgotten to put it back on before driving off. Now, instead of me laughing it off and making light of the situation, I was upset. I was afraid, since he'd left the gas compartment door open and the cap off the gas tank that we'd gotten rain water in our gas tank and I just knew it was going to lead to a costly repair bill. So, guess what I did...I started fussing at him for leaving the door open and the cap off. (Yes, he does it often, but I shouldn't have fussed. I should have kept my mouth closed and remembered that old Southern adage, "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.") He asked me if I'd look up an Autozone car parts store on Google maps and direct him to the nearest location. As we drove toward the auto parts store, I continued to chide him for his mistake. He didn't say a word. I knew he felt badly for forgetting but we all make mistakes, right? So why did I feel the need to keep on him? We arrived at the Autozone and he rain through the rain into the store. In just a few minutes, he was coming out with the new gas cap and quickly put it in place. When he climbed back into the car, I asked how much the gas cap had cost. "It was only $12," he said. But, I thought to myself, it was $12 we shouldn't have had to spend. We got back on the road and the rain began to ease up. The rest of the way home, we didn't talk much. I wished I'd kept my mouth closed and not made a big deal out of the forgotten gas cap and open gas door but I couldn't take back my hasty words.

Something has to change. Today I'm starting day one of the Love Dare challenge. (The Love Dare was first introduced in the movie,  "Fireproof," in 2008.  In that movie, the lead actor, Kirk Cameron, finds his marriage falling apart. He and his wife fuss and fight all the time. Kirk's character becomes addicted to internet porn and his marriage continues to explode driving he and his wife further and further apart. One day, Kirk's father steps in and presents the Love Dare challenge to his son in an effort to dissuade him from filing for divorce. Though hesitant to accept the challenge, he does and his marriage is saved.) I'm accepting the challenge in hopes of seeing some major changes in my marriage. After almost 23 years of living with the same person, it's easy to begin to take them for granted. I never want that to happen and I surely don't want to speak hasty, hurtful words to my husband again especially over something silly. The first dare in the book is to forego speaking negative words to your spouse and to learn to be patient. In the introduction, the book says "Patience helps you give your spouse permission to be human. It understands that everyone fails. When a mistake is made, it chooses to give them more time than they deserve to correct it. It gives you the ability to hold on during the tough times in your relationship rather than bailing out under the pressure." I wish I'd read that yesterday....

© bonnie annis all rights reserved

Step into my world

It's been a while since I've written an honest, open, and raw post about how things are going in my life so I decided today would be a good day to do just that. I know reading my posts on grand spiritual insights can get tedious and sometimes boring if the reader isn't quite in the mood for such heavy fodder, but don't worry, today will be light and airy.

It's the end of April and soon, I'll be celebrating 2 years of being in remission. (July 9th is my actual "cancerversary") It's hard to believe 2 years have passed by so quickly. Although I say they've passed quickly, some days felt like they'd never end. It's been pretty hard to look at my calendar and see an average of 1-3 doctors appointments scheduled every single month. Some months there are more but never less than 1. Sometimes I feel like a bug under glass...a science experiment gone terribly wrong. But I'm thankful for attentive doctors and though the appointments get tiresome, at least I know my medical team is keeping a close eye on me just in case something unique pops up. Everything I've read about breast cancer lets me know this process will continue until after I've reached the 5 year mark and then, although things might slow down a bit, I'll be under close scrutiny for the rest of my life. It's just a fact I have to learn to live with and that's a small price to pay for being alive.

Summer is sneaking in stealthily and with the Georgia heat intensifying, I'm finding it more difficult to stay cool. At home, I usually stay indoors enjoying the air conditioning but when I go out, with my prostheses and my compression sleeves on, I'm hot! I'm so hot I feel like I just want to strip naked and throw modesty out the window. I'm dreading going back for Lymphedema treatments. Next week, I'll start back with regular visits to the therapist. I'm hoping she won't do the wrapping like she did last time. Wrapping is worse than just wearing the compression sleeves. At least with the sleeves, I can pull them down or take them off whenever I need some relief but when I'm wrapped, I have to leave the wrapping on for a long time and it's so uncomfortable. Let me walk you through the process so you can understand a little better. I'll drive to the hospital and go into the physical therapy clinic. I'll meet with the CLT (the Certified Lymphedema Therapist) and she'll take me back to a dimly lit room. She'll ask me to lie down on a table and she'll put on some soft music...yes, sounds a little freaky, doesn't it? She'll begin to slowly massage each arm and my upper body. It takes about an hour to complete the therapy session and when she's done, she'll have me sit up on the side of the table. She'll raise the lights a bit and take some rolled cotton out of a box. She'll start wrapping my arms, one at a time, like a mummy. After she's got each arm wrapped securely with the cotton, she'll go back and apply an ACE bandage over the top of each arm and fasten it with a little metal fastener near my wrists. After I'm "mummified," I'll get dressed and leave the office. It will be difficult to drive home like this but I'll manage somehow. I'll pray all the way home that I don't get stopped for a traffic violation because I don't want anyone to see me this way and I surely wouldn't know how to explain it fast enough for them to understand. The therapy sessions usually start out with 5 sessions a week and then taper down to 3. I have no idea how many weeks I'll be going this time but I do know I have to go until my insurance approves the recirculating compression pump system my oncologist ordered for me. When they approve that, I'll be able to have treatment at home and there will be no more wrapping!

I continue to take all of my natural supplements to stay alive. This morning, I was looking at the bottles of everything I take and I wondered how my poor liver has been able to keep up. I'm thankful I did a liver detox last week and I think it helped tremendously. I've made a mental note to continue doing that on a monthly basis. Would you like to know what I take daily? Here goes:
Matcha green tea
Chlorophyll
Ashwagandha
Turmeric
Vitamin D2
Vitamin C
Potassium
Magnesium
Biotin
Coconut Oil
Fish Oil
Flax seed
In addition to all the natural supplements I'm taking, I'm also trying to eat tons of organic fruits and veggies. I try, but don't always, manage to get in an hour a day of walking. Some days I just don't feel like it so I don't. With all the housework I do around here, I'm sure I get enough physical activity to counter balance scheduled walking.

It seems my house has become a gathering place for extended family lately and it's been nice to have lots of company. Many of my days are spent alone for the majority of the day.  It's been nice to enjoy some pleasant conversation and visiting with loved ones.

Hubby and I are still trying to figure out when or if we'll be able to take a vacation this year. It depends on how I'm doing physically and whether or not we have enough money to get away. Medical bills continue to pile up and seem to be never ending. It's frustrating! We try to plan little mini trips around town so we don't always feel like we're depriving ourselves of doing anything fun. A week long vacation to the beach would be better than any medication the doctor could order. The ocean always refreshes and revives me. It's been calling my name for weeks now....

I continue to write for the breast cancer magazine. I enjoy sharing my experiences with others and it's really nice to be paid for my work! I also continue to review books for several Christian publishing companies. In exchange for my reviews, I receive free books. It's a win win situation for both of us. And then there's always my blog...my creative outlet...my place to vent and share my deepest thoughts. It's helped me process my thoughts and manage to stay sane. And that's the most recent update from my world. Things are going well and I'm thankful for that. Hopefully things will continue to run smoothly for the rest of the Summer. I like having no drama in my life. It's been great to be able to function without stress. Shouldn't everyone enjoy a life without stress? I think stress is one of the main causes of health problems in America today and it more than likely contributes to all the cases of cancer we're seeing on a daily basis.

I hope you have a wonderful weekend and most of all, I wish you peace and God's best blessings. Rest. Relax. Take time for yourself. Let love be your guide. Life is short. Don't waste a single minute.

© bonnie annis all rights reserved

Sweaty boobs and swollen arms

Summer is a challenging month for many women. We don't like sweat. It's unattractive and bothersome. We don't enjoy having to reapply our makeup or wear ultra strength deodorant to keep ourselves looking and smelling pleasant. But add to those minor inconveniences the challenges of having to wear silicone prostheses and compression sleeves for Lymphedema and you get some pretty hot ladies! No, I'm not talking about hot as in extremely good looking...I'm talking about hot as in lots of heat, as in who turned up the thermostat to 120 degrees?! The excessive heat of Summer is instantly compounded by having to wear these medically necessary items. So what's a girl to do?

My first Summer after having bilateral mastectomies, I went without prostheses. My scars were still pretty raw and I didn't like to have anything rubbing against my skin. I found cotton tank tops provided just enough coverage while at the same time kept me cool and dry. It wasn't a problem to wear those around home but when I wanted to go out to dinner or visit friends, I needed to dress more appropriately and that meant wearing my prostheses.

When I went for my first fitting, the breast specialist spent a lot of time with me. I tried on several different styles of prostheses and was amazed at the different types available. My fitter brought in a flesh colored pair of breast forms with a clear backing. She explained they were a new model. The clear gel diamond backing was specially formulated to help keep my skin cool. I hadn't given a single thought to the prostheses and how they would feel against my skin. I naturally assumed, since they were silicone, they'd be cool but that was not the case. Even inside the mastectomy bra, the regular prostheses picked up my body heat. Discovering the difference between the normal silicone prostheses and the newer cool gel backed ones made my choice an easy one. But even on a hot Georgia day, rivers of sweat trickle down my chest when I wear my prostheses. The cool gel backing helps but doesn't make Summer easy. I don't like having sweaty boobs so 9 times out of 10, I don't wear my prostheses. It's just a lot more comfortable not to wear them and a whole lot cooler, too. Silicone prostheses aren't the only challenge contributing to a miserable Summer. Lymphedema also brings its own set of issues. 

One of the major long term complications after lymph node removal is Lymphedema, an uncomfortable swelling in the arms. With the disruption of the normal lymphatic flow, the lymphatic fluid often collects in the extremities and causes painful swelling. At the time of my bilateral mastectomy, I had lymph nodes in both arms removed and found out months later that I was the lucky recipient of not only one arm with Lymphedema, but two. At first, the swelling was pretty manageable with elevation and manual lymphatic drainage performed by a certified Lymphedema Massage Therapist but, as the warm Summer months began, the swelling increased. My breast surgeon recommended compression sleeves and gauntlets to help keep the swelling down. Every morning, I donned my cool gel prostheses and my compression sleeves. I felt like I was putting on battle gear. As long as I was inside with air conditioning it was bearable but outside, in the heat, it was a different story. So what to do? I had to wear the sleeves and gauntlets. If I didn't, the swelling would become unmanageable. The Lymphedema sleeves I had been prescribed were made of a very tight Spandex® type material. They were not breathable and trapped my body heat inside them. I knew I couldn't go through the entire Summer with sweaty boobs and swollen arms or I'd swelter, so I got online and did some research. I found a website called LympheDIVAS. They sell arm sleeves with a new type of technology called Coolmax®. It allows the sleeves to wick away moisture from the skin by helping it evaporate and cool down faster. I was so happy to have found a solution to my problem! Now, I could keep my chest and arms cool but I still had one more problem to deal with in order to stay cool for the Summer. 

Lymphedema caused my arms to swell so much that I couldn't wear normal sized blouses or tops. The sleeves were not big enough to hold my massive arms. Even with the compression sleeves, my upper arms were massive. If I bought shirts in a larger size, I might be able to find one that fit in the arm area but I'd just look sloppy and unkempt everywhere else. While most women enjoy the comfort of wearing sleeveless or short sleeved tops in the Summer, I liked to stay as covered as possible to hide my swollen arms and fake boobs. Trying to do both of these presented a challenge. There weren't many choices available in fashionable women's apparel. There weren't blouses that provided adequate coverage and cool comfort at the same time. Once again, I had to do some research. I began strictly searching for Lymphedema apparel. It seemed there weren't many choices for those who suffer upper arm Lymphedema. I couldn't find a single site dedicated to clothing for women with upper arm swelling. Of course, there were Dolman sleeves, cap sleeves, butterfly sleeves, Caftan type shirts...but all of these were not currently in style. Most of those styles were popular in the 70's. So how can women who suffer from Lymphedema today dress stylishly and still meet their needs to wear non-restrictive clothing? Unless you are a seamstress or know someone who is, you'll have to compromise and accept one of the types of blouses with the sleeves I previously mentioned. By visiting a website like Shopstyle and searching for a loose, flowing type blouse you'll probably find something to suit your needs. Maybe a local retail store offers other types of shirts to camouflage the swelling Lymphedema creates. Perhaps in the future, clothing manufacturers will realize there is a huge market for clothing geared specifically toward those who suffer from upper arm Lymphedema. I certainly hope so because it would help make hot days much more pleasant and help folks like me remain cool, calm and collected instead of having to focus on sweaty boobs and swollen arms. 

© bonnie annis all rights reserved

The easiest way to lose weight

Today I had to go to the doctor. I hate going to the doctor...well, I don't really hate going to the doctor, I hate going to see the doctor and having to get on the scale. I hate that they have the scale right out in the open in a hallway where anyone who passes by can see what you weigh. For me, that's scary. I want to keep my weight private. Shouldn't there be a HIPAA law or something to protect me from having my weight scrutinized by prying eyes? Surely there should be. Anyway, as much as I hated going to see the doctor today, I went. This was a follow up visit for an esophageoendoscopy I'd had done recently. I already had the results so I didn't really understand why it was necessary for me to go in for an office visit, but I'm compliant, so off I went.

I arrived at the gastroenterologist's office about fifteen minutes early. I'm always early. I like to have a few minutes to just sit in the waiting room and chill out before my appointment. For some reason, I get white coat syndrome...you know, where you're heart rate speeds up and you feel panic and you want to run?! Well, I sat in the waiting room listening to the receptionist giving out social security numbers and other private information over the phone to an insurance company. I was checking Facebook on my Iphone so I was half listening and half not. If I'd wanted to steal someone's identity, I could have done it easily. I wanted to chide the receptionist for being so careless about sharing very valuable personal information within earshot of those in the waiting room, but I did not. I used to work for a doctor's office. I knew it was not standard procedure for something like this to be done. That receptionist was going to find out from some irate patient, at some point in her career, that she wasn't being very professional and rightly so. A few minutes passed and I was being called back.

A heavy set nurse took me right to the scale. I don't usually mind getting up on the scale if the nurse is larger than I am so I stepped right up. I glanced over my shoulder to make sure no office staff were peering at the number on the scale. Thankfully, no one was in the hallway but the nurse and I. She didn't even tell me what I weighed and I hadn't been able to see it. (Earlier today, I'd taken my glasses off and put my sunglasses on as I was driving. The sun was so bright I could barely see without them. I have artificial lenses in both eyes and they're for distance so I only have to wear my glasses for seeing things up close.) I wished I'd had them on. I wondered what the scale had said. The nurse took me back to the exam room and began asking the normal questions. I gave her all the answers and she said the doctor would be in shortly.

I didn't have to wait but a couple of minutes before the doctor came in with his scribe. The scribe sat down at the computer and as the doctor asked questions, she typed away. Dr. R asked me if I was still having issues with not being hungry. I told him yes. He said, "Don't you ever have an appetite?" I answered, "No. I really don't. I just eat when it's meal time because I know I'm supposed to eat then." He looked at my chart and said, "Well, the last time I saw you for an office visit was about 4 months ago. You weigh the same today as you did then." Hmmm...I wondered if that was accurate. I knew what my home scale said this morning before getting dressed. I asked him what the scale showed today and he told me. "HA!," I almost shouted. He looked at me stunned. I said, "I know why there's no weight loss showing." As I finished my last word in that sentence, I reached inside my shirt and whipped off my bra with my prostheses still in it. I held it up with sheer delight and waved it slightly back and forth. "Here's the five pound loss that should have appeared on your office scale today. I forgot to take them off before coming in to see you." The doctor turned a bright shade of red and his scribe had a look of shock on her face. I sat there and laughed because I thought it was so funny. The doctor took a few minutes before he commented and then said, "Well, Mrs. Annis, I guess you can lose weight whenever you choose, can't you?" I smiled and wanted to tell him, "Damn, Skippy!," but I didn't. I just shook my head and grinned.

I'm finding myself getting a little more brazen in my old age and it's kind of scary. It's also kind of fun. I'm liking the element of surprise and how I can use my fake boobs to make medical professionals think about breast cancer when they least expect it. Maybe the next time a patient steps up to the scale, the nurse should ask, like they do in the customs offices, if the patient has anything to declare. It would be funny to see how many prostheses come off before the weigh in. Can you just imagine a pile of limbs or breasts stacked in the corner while patients are being weighed? I bet that would prompt them to move their scale into a small room instead of keeping it out in the open in a hallway. There needs to be some standard of privacy and respect for folks with artificial pieces and parts. HIPAA needs to get on board and revise their policies but I bet no one's ever considered something as silly as this, except maybe me...of course.

© bonnie annis all rights reserved

Medically unnecessary

Medically unnecessary. Those were the words printed in large letters across a document of denial I'd recently received from my insurance company. My oncologist had ordered a new type of recirculating compression pump to alleviate the extreme swelling in my upper extremities. This condition, called Lymphedema, had occurred shortly after I'd been through surgery to remove both of my breasts and several lymph nodes in each arm. As I read the letter, I became very upset. As I re-read the letter, I became angry. How dare these insurance company agents determine what is and what is not necessary for my health? Shouldn't my oncologist be more educated in matters pertaining to breast cancer and the side effects? I certainly thought so. Toward the end of the letter, after the insurance company had supplied their standard explanation for the denial, were instructions on how to submit an appeal. Finally, a ray of hope! I was definitely going to do that, but first, I had to contact my oncologist and prepare for battle.

The insurance letter stated I had "not exhausted all means to reduce the swelling." They said I "had not tried other methods available" and I had not "tried exercise, massage, raising the affected part, or elastic bandages and garments." They said they "didn't see where other treatments were tried and didn't work for you." Boy, did I have some information coming their way as I prepared to submit my appeal. I read on and the letter of denial said, "This decision doesn't mean that you can't or shouldn't receive this service. Only you and your health care providers can decide whether you need it. But, this decision means that if you do receive the service, it won't be covered by your plan." We'll see about that, I thought to myself. The insurance company had no idea what I'd been through over the past year and a half and how I'd tried so many things to treat this uncomfortable condition.

I made a call to my oncologist's office and left a message for my doctor. I told him about the denial letter and asked if he'd be willing to submit more documentation to substantiate the medical need for the equipment he'd ordered for me. His assistant assured me she'd get the message to him and there would be no problem in him providing whatever the insurance company needed to appeal the claim. I was thankful to have that assurance tucked safely in my arsenal.

After speaking with my oncologist and giving him a "heads up" about the denial from the insurance company, I contacted the company that manufactures the recirculating compression pump. I talked with a representative there and told her about the denial letter I'd received and asked what I needed to do to provide them with more information as they had agreed to also submit a request for review and reconsideration. The representative suggested I take photographs of the swelling and submit those along with a handwritten, personal testimony of how Lymphedema has impacted my life. Her suggestions seemed like very valid ways to present my case. I thanked her and agreed to copy her on my letter. I had no idea how to write an appeal letter to an insurance company. I didn't know what they needed to change their minds about whether the equipment was medically necessary, but I was going to give it my best shot.

As I waited for my computer to boot up, I gathered my medical notebook where I'd kept a record of each and every lab result, test, surgery or medication since I was diagnosed with breast cancer. The notebook had started out completely empty and now was almost 3 inches thick with medical records. I flipped through the notebook marking pertinent information with sticky notes so I could refer back to them easily as I prepared my letter. I opened a blank document in my word processor and began to write my letter. I was surprised at how easily the words came to me. I decided not to fill the letter with medical jargon, although I knew that was something the insurance company would easily understand, instead I decided to write the letter so they'd feel my heart...that they'd understand I was a real person with valid health issues. I wanted them to know what it felt like to wake up first thing every morning with arms so swollen and painful that it was difficult to get out of bed. I wrote about not only the physical limitations Lymphedema imposed on my life, but also about the pain and humiliation that went along with it. I explained the swelling has increased the girth of my upper arms so much that I have great difficulty finding shirts and blouses that I can even get my arms into the sleeves. I wanted them to understand the swelling gets worse as the day goes on and often, by midday, I have to sit with my arms elevated for a hour or so, because they are so swollen and sore, before I can continue my normal household duties. I followed the representative's advice and listed every single treatment I'd tried to combat the Lymphedema. I put dates and locations. I even took my cell phone and snapped photos of my bare chest and upper arms so the insurance agents could see what I was trying to explain. My letter, by the time I'd completed it, was three pages long. I felt like I'd done my best to provide adequate information for reconsideration of my claim.

It's so frustrating to have to defend myself to the insurance company. We pay our insurance premiums on time every single month and have for over 35 years. Why is it, that when they decide they don't want to pay out a large sum of money for a fairly new medical treatment, the claim is instantly denied? I wonder if most cancer patients who receive a denial take the time to fight back or if they just accept defeat and end up paying for whatever they need out of pocket. It seems a very unfair injustice is done to those of us who have already been through the trenches of war in a battle we never chose for ourselves and then, to have to fight for what insurance companies deem medically unnecessary. It just doesn't make sense.

Yes, I understand the insurance companies want to find ways to hold on to their money and avoid paying unnecessary or unsubstantiated claims, but good grief, don't they think an oncologist is the best one to decide their patient needs? All that medical schooling to specialize in the field of diagnosing and treating cancer must give them a whole lot more expertise than a few board members sitting around a table at an insurance review board, don't you think? I sure do and I would advise any patient to stand up and fight for their rights. The letter said, in big bold letters, "You have the right to file an appeal." And that's just what I did. Now I have to wait and see what happens next. I'm praying the documentation I provided will be enough and even if mine isn't quite what they need, perhaps my doctors' information will cause a reversal of the denial of the claim. Medically unnecessary...I wonder how those insurance agents would feel if they received that same type of denial letter when seeking treatment for one of their loved ones? I bet they'd seek an appeal, too.

© bonnie annis all rights reserved