Unrest

Do you feel it? I do. There's a stirring in my soul, a feeling of unrest that won't go away no matter what I do to try and quash it. It's been going on for several weeks now and I don't think it's related to all the political hullabaloo. I'm not one to watch all that junk, my husband is. 

No, it's something deeper. It's almost a spiritual stirring. I've been praying and asking God to reveal what the issue might be, but He hasn't. 

Maybe it's just adjusting to this new time in our lives or perhaps it's the uncertainty of the future, how I wish I knew. Getting older could be part of it or not being able to spend as much time with the kids or grand kids, or it could be a combination of all of it. 

I try to stay busy so I don't think about it. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. Most days I paint just for something to do and when I run out of canvases, I read. I have so many books, I could start my own library. The only thing that seems to help is being out in nature. 

When I'm out in the woods, I feel unhindered and free. I love feeling the soft breeze surrounding me as I walk beneath tall trees. I try to be observant and see the things most people miss, like a freshly fallen feather or an insect wing. 

My youngest granddaughter loves nature just about as much as I do, and I'm so thankful for that. She could tell you just about anything about animal habitats or insect bodies. She's smart as a whip and studies to absorb every fact she can. And that's why I find myself doing crazy, ol' Grandma things like saving bird's nests or picking up dead Cicadas for her to see when she comes to visit. 

We always have fun when she comes. She has no idea how much joy she brings to my life, but she's growing up and will soon not want to do crafty things with her Gigi. She'll prefer watching a TV show or something else. It's hard to watch them grow up and away. 

Maybe that's the thing that's stirring - the realization that no matter how hard I try, I can't keep things the way they are. Everything and everyone is in a constant state of change, the only constant is God. The Bible says He never changes, He's the same yesterday, today, and forever. I'm thankful for that. 

My hubby keeps telling me to take one day at a time, but that's hard for a type A person to do. I'm trying. Maybe tomorrow will be a little easier. 

Oh yeah, speaking of unrest, the announcement came today that Biden will be stepping down soon. I wonder if anyone else is beginning to wonder what the future holds and how all this will work out? 

None of us can truly know what the future holds, but believers know Who holds the future! If you're feeling discombobulated or in a season of your own unrest, take a deep breath. This too shall pass. (Or so I'm told.)

How Did 3 Years Go By So Fast?

In a few days, I'll be in a contemplative mood again as I remember my dear brother, Jimmy. It's hard to believe this year marks 3 since his passing. Where did the time go? I've always heard it said that the older you get, the faster time flies and I'm beginning to believe it. 

Since his death, I've tried hard not to forget him. The best way I can do that is to remember small things about him. That's another thing about getting old, you can remember things in the past much better than what you had for breakfast yesterday, so I'm thankful my memory bank is full. Today's memory focuses on something that brought my brother much joy -- fishing.

Daddy taught my  siblings and I how to fish when we were old enough to hold a pole. We'd visit Twin Brothers Lake or another one not far from the house. He took great joy in showing us how to slide the red and white bobber onto the line attached to the long cane pole and then, horror of horrors, he'd dump over a coffee can filled with sawdust and we'd watch as red wiggler worms crawled out. Looking for a "fat, juicy one," as Daddy would say, he'd show us exactly how to pierce the worm and carefully thread it onto the hook so it wouldn't fall off. He explained that way we'd have a better chance at catching a fish, and he was right! 9 times out of 10, we'd catch something. After we did, Daddy showed us how to take it off the hook and place it into a bucket of water until we got home where he'd spread newspapers on an outdoor table and show us how to first scale the fish then gut it. 

I hated that fishy smell but didn't mind taking a spoon and raking it across the fish's body watching as hard, shiny scales flew threw the air. It was gross when they'd stick to my forearms and I'd quickly brush them away. After the scales were removed, Daddy would cut off the fish's head, slice down its belly, and pull out the innards. I didn't mind any of that, in fact, I thought it fascinating, but I never grew to like the taste of fish. Perhaps it's because I almost choked to death on a fish bone once. That experience scared me to death and from that day forward, I never ate another piece of fish, not even Tuna from a can.

 

Jimmy and I shared a great love of nature. We found peace and solace hiking in the woods, wandering by a stream, or sitting by a lake. But more than anything, Jimmy loved fishing. He'd take every opportunity to be at the water's edge patiently casting and reeling in (after he progressed to a real rod.)

 

I remember years ago, Jimmy longed for a boat and mentioned this to Daddy one day. Not long after that, Daddy came home with a fixer upper he'd bought from a friend. That boat never got completely fixed up and was never put into the water, but it was a good project for a while. Eventually, Daddy ended up selling it to someone else who had more time, money, and energy to put into it, but Jimmy kept dreaming.

Many years later, after our Mother died and he received a small inheritance, he saw his dream come to fruition. He purchased a lovely pontoon boat and rented a slip at Lake Oconee. He was in heaven and went out every chance he could. 

 

He loved to catch Bluegill, Crappie, Gar, Bass, Catfish, or Warmouth. Whatever was biting, he'd manage to pull it in. 

 

Once, Daddy took him on a deep sea fishing trip. On the open ocean, fishing was a lot different. I don't remember if Jimmy caught anything or not, but I know my Daddy got a big Trigger fish. The only way I remember that is because that fish had a mouthful of teeth and Daddy thought that was the oddest thing. He saved the jawbone after cleaning the fish, I guess to prove the teeth were really there.

 

My last fishing trip with Jimmy was in the late 70's. We were on a family vacation Calhoun, GA. At Lake Marvin, we spent a lot of time fishing side by side. We didn't say a word as we sat on the bank in folding chairs. We just enjoyed  the peacefulness and beauty of nature. 

 

I like to imagine him up in heaven throwing out a line now and then, sitting on the shores of a beautiful lake daydreaming and in the distance, just as I'm about to close my eyes, I see the red and white bobber start to dip under and a great big smile cross his face.

 

It's so hard to miss a loved one and sometimes, keeping their memory alive is even more difficult. It seems as time passes away, the memories fade and slowly begin to slip away. I don't ever want to forget my brother. He wasn't perfect, by any means, but we had a special connection. It's rare to find those who just "get you." 

It Doesn't Pay to Be Old School

 

I'm a Boomer. I'm old school and proud of it, or at least I was. I like to do things the traditional way (or at least as much as possible), but boy...things sure have changed. 

I love to send cards and letters. I've done it since I was old enough to write. It gives me joy to send correspondence through the mail. Thankfully, my hand is still steady enough to write legibly and I have a stack of assorted cards. Normally, I also keep several books of postage stamps on hand, too. I like being prepared. 

The other day, my sister texted me. She let me know of the recent USPS postage hike and recommended I either stop writing letters or stock up on stamps before the price jump. I was thankful she informed me and made a quick run to the post office to purchase more stamps. There was no way I'd ever be able to stop sending cards and letters. Some of my children suggested I send text messages or emails instead. They said even Facebook messenger was a good option, but I love the feel of ink as it spreads across paper. I just couldn't do it.  

This morning, I pulled out a stack of cards, my address book, some stamps and a pen. (I make it a point to send out at least 3 letters or cards a day and I never know who's going to get them until I pray asking God to impress upon my heart who needs encouragement that day.) 

In my purse, I had 2 more books of stamps. Since the price hike had increased them to .73 each, I was going to have to pare down my writing or up my budget for stamps. I figured I could whittle my writing to 2 a week for a while and see how that went, but it was hard. 

I poured over my address book praying, "God, who needs a word today?" As I flipped through the book, I felt the names of 2 friends being impressed on my heart. I wrote cards to them, addressed the envelopes, and peeled off 2 FOREVER stamps placing one on each envelope. FOREVER, hmmm... that meant no matter what price I paid for those stamps at the time of purchase, they'd still be good FOREVER, yeah. Right. 

I noticed on the newly printed stamps the word FOREVER has been crossed through. I assume that means the price of postage stamps will continually increase forcing people to stop writing letters or sending any correspondence they don't absolutely need to send. With inflation the way it is and some having no internet access, I wonder how many will take care of their monthly bills. Elderly rely on the USPS to help them out but at almost a dollar a letter, how will they afford it on meager Social Security or other fixed incomes? 

I understand salaries must increase for postal employees and other related mail delivery expenses, but there needs to be a cap somewhere. It's too bad we can't have an assigned neighborhood horse and rider to hand deliver mail like in the old days, but hey...in Georgia the heat would probably kill them and then, I'm sure some advocacy group would complain about the animal waste in the streets. You know how it is.

God Sends Specific Friends for a Season

Me and Al in his office

About 18 years ago, I worked for a mega church with over 6000 members. The staff was pretty big, too - with over 200 employees. I loved my job there and loved my boss. 

My boss used to be a Catholic priest so I thought it pretty interesting that he was now working for a Southern Baptist Church. 

One day, he shared his testimony. During that time, he talked about his life in the priesthood. He was a devout Catholic following the rituals of Catholicism but felt there was much more. That longing led him to someone who introduced him to the principles of living the exchanged life and from that point forward, he was a completely different man. 

The term "Exchanged Life" is taken from Isaiah 40:31. English translations refer to those who wait on or hope in the Lord as being able to "renew" their strength. Many commentaries and study Bibles note the literal translation of the Hebrew word for "renew" is "exchange." Those who wait on the Lord will exchange their strength for His strength, as stated in verses 25-30. Basically, when we allow Christ to be our life, we live, move, and have our being in Him. In essence, we exchange our life for His. 

Al was instrumental in helping many staff and members of the church understand the exchanged life principles and he was a shining light in my eyes. He was so humble and kind. Working closely with him, I saw him exhibit Christ daily. 

I am so thankful, when I applied to work at that church many years ago, I was given the opportunity to work under Al. I know God placed him in my life for that specific season and for multiple reasons. He not only became a father figure to me, he became my spiritual father guiding me, listening to me, praying with and for me, and encouraging me to always look to Christ in all things. 

Al's faith was amazing and can be summed up in the words of St. Francis of Assisi: "Preach Christ at all times, if necessary, use words." 

Throughout my life, God has placed specific people in my path. Sometimes they minister to me and other times, I have the opportunity to minister to them. Either way, I know each encounter is divinely ordained - just like my time with Al. 

We only got 7 years together before Al was forced to retire. The church felt he was too old to continue in his position as head of the counseling ministry so they offered him an early retirement "buyout." He graciously accepted and stepped down. I hated to see him go but shortly afterward, he began to have health issues. I'm sure the timing on his retirement was part of God's divine plan, too.  

Al's now in heaven. How I miss him. I can still hear his soft, gentle voice asking how I'm doing. He always wanted to be sure his staff was okay and if they had any problems, he would always lend a listening ear before offering up a heartfelt prayer. There aren't many godly men like that around these days so if you have the blessing of knowing one, hold fast to them! 

These days are emotionally, physically, and spiritually difficult. As we watch those around us fall away from faith, true believers must always cling to the cross. It will never fail us because without the cross, we have no crucified and resurrected Christ. And without Christ, we have nothing.  

 

What is wrong with us?!

47TH

When did it happen and how did we let it? The world I grew up in no longer exists. Today's world is so, so, evil. It didn't happen overnight but slowly and methodically as we let our guard down and now, it seems, we've reached the point of no return. 

When my husband and I learned of the attempt to assassinate President Trump, we were dumbfounded. First, we questioned how our country's superior security system could have failed in such a horrible way and then, we stopped and gave thanks to God for thwarting this evil plan. 

It's hard to live in a world where right and wrong no longer seem to matter. Morals and values are totally corrupt. But when I read God's Word, I know this is the way it's supposed to be right now because we're living in the last days. 

I'm sure God looks down on us and sheds many tears. As we continue to fail His standards and make poor choices. Yes, there are those who love and follow Him, doing all they can to keep His covenants and live godly lives and then...there are those who do completely the opposite - living out the evil that permeates their souls. 

How I long for things to return to they way it was when I was growing up. No, things weren't perfect, but they were much better than today. People trusted. People respected. People cared. God was honored (for the most part in most homes and in our country) and the majority of people loved our country. How things have changed!

As believers, we have so much to pray about. Every single day, we need to remember not only to pray for our loved ones and our country, but also for those in authority over us. Even more importantly, we need to pray for God's intervention and for His will to be accomplished in His perfect timing. 

I can't help but remember these very conditional verses of Scripture that offer such promises:  "If My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and will forgive their sin and heal their land. 2 Chronicles 7:14-20.

How we need that today!

If you're one of my faithful readers, I'd like to ask you to join me in taking a few minutes each day to pray for our country. We desperately need God and our land needs help. 

I have a little hour glass I keep on my desk. As I turn it over, the sand runs through it within 5 minutes. 5 minutes isn't a long time to pray. Can you commit to that each day? Though a very small amount of time, I think it would make a huge difference if our collective, heartfelt voices went up to the throne room, don't you? Try it. We have to do something and this is truly something that matters.

Another one dies from Breast Cancer

It's a sad day. I'd just recently posted on Cure Magazine about my happiness over celebrating my 10th cancerversary and then today, I read the news about another young woman passing away from breast cancer. 

I never was a huge fan of 90210, a TV drama about high school, but know many were familiar with actress,Shannen Doherty and enjoyed her character on the show. Even so, I'd seen it a few times and knew what it was about. If I'd been younger when it came out, I probably would have enjoyed it more.

Just 3 days after I celebrated 10 years of survival from breast cancer, Shannen lost her life. She was 53. I'm almost 67. It doesn't seem quite fair.

 She was first diagnosed with breast cancer in 2015, but she went into remission two years later. That reprieve wouldn’t last.Soon the cancer had spread to her lymph nodes, her brain, and her bones. 

It's hard to explain how survivors feel when we learn of another's death to cancer. Our hearts grieve desperately and we often wonder why we've managed to survive while others haven't been as blessed. 

Please keep her family in your prayers. And pray for those of us who are still in the process of surviving. We always struggle with a fear of recurrence, which could invade our lives at any time.

 

Killer Hornets!

We were working in our front yard the other day. We'd recently planted some knockout roses and had pruned the Loropetalum, Red Tip Photinias, and other shrubs we have in the flower bed when we noticed some really big hornets hovering low to the ground. We hadn't seen any that big before! They were about an inch and a half long. 

We watched carefully as they began to go down into mounds of dirt (similar to fire ant mounds) around the base of our roses. I knew there were some types of bees that like to make underground nest - like yellow jackets, but I was unfamiliar with these big guys. Noting their color patterns, I jumped on the internet to find out what they were. We certainly didn't need any bees, wasps, or hornets nesting in our yard, especially in the front yard. Research revealed they were Eastern Cicada Killer Hornets. 

The internet said the males don't sting but hover protecting the nests. The females will sting if threatened and their sting packs a powerful punch as my husband found out a couple of weeks ago. That sting had caused his hand to turn red and swell so much that we went to urgent care. They gave him a steroid shot and put him on steroid pills. It took a week for that sting to ease up and his hand return to normal!

Poor Cicada!

This Summer has been a hot one and with the recent emergence of the 7 and 13 year Cicadas, it was no wonder these predators were out in full force. 

As we lay our mulch, we had to take great care to avoid the underground nests and watch for hovering hornets. Our plan was to complete our work then run to Lowes for some hornet spray. We weren't going to let these killer hornets kill Cicadas on our watch!

We bought 3 cans of hornet and wasp spray. Using 2 full cans, we managed to spray all the underground burrows they'd made and kill 3 of those big suckers. 

The internet said these types of hornets like to build their nests in very dry, easy to reach soil so we thwarted their plan by putting down a deep layer of mulch and watering our plants well with the sprinkler. 

The thing that amazes me is that the Cicada is much bigger than the Eastern Cicada Killer Hornet, but God has equipped the hornet with a powerful sting to instantly kill the Cicada. The female hornets take the Cicada down into their burrow and leave it there to feed their freshly laid egg. 

Although it's a cycle of nature, I don't like the prospect of being stung by one of those guys and my husband can attest to their painful sting, so we did what we felt necessary to protect our front yard and front entry way. 

Stinging herself

When I sprayed each hornet we managed to kill, it curled into a ball and began stinging itself until it died. It was certainly odd. As you can see from the photo, the hornet is large but much smaller than the Cicada. 

There are so many intricacies to God's plan for everything in nature. We can't understand them all but they are very interesting to study. 

Hopefully we'll have a very cold winter this year and it will kill off some of the insects and these nasty flying things. 

I like the Cicadas. Hearing their constant humming during the scorching summer days reminds me of my childhood. 

I've also enjoyed holding one and showing one of my grandchildren what they look like. Thankfully one of them really enjoys Entomology. 

If you've never studied God's tiny creatures, I hope you will. Everything in nature is balanced so well and only Our Master Creator could do all that in the twinkling of an eye.  

Dragging away the prey

How Big is Your Jesus?

We'd just arrived at our hotel and were at the desk checking in when something on the counter caught my eye. A tiny figurine sat in between 2 welcome to our hotel signs. As the front desk employee went through the check in routine, I couldn't keep my eyes off the little rubber figure. When she'd finished with the formalities of registering us, I picked up the little guy and held it up for her to see. "Who put this here?" I asked. She replied, "I have no idea. I imagine a guest left it or someone found it and put it there." Smiling, I asked if she knew who it was. She didn't answer. That's when I said, "Can I have Him?" She looked at me like I was crazy and said, "Sure." So I took the tiny Jesus figure and gently placed Him in my purse. 

When I got to the room, I took out the rubber Jesus and washed Him in the sink. I wanted to make sure no nasty germs were stuck to Him. Then, I dried Him and looked Him over. This little guy was apparently some kind of toy but I didn't care. Though he was smaller than an inch, He represented a lot to me!

The Bible says no one has ever seen God that means no one really knows what He looks like. Oh we can imagine - He was probably a little darker skinned than we are with dark brown hair and eyes. More than likely had had a beard or some facial hair and since He was a Jew, He may have had the longer side burns called payot. We also know He wasn't handsome or notable, because the Bible tells us “For He grew up before Him like a young plant, and like a root out of dry ground; He had no form or majesty that we should look at Him, and no beauty that we should desire Him. (Isaiah 53:2) To me, that says Jesus was the average looking Joe. And isn't it remarkable that God would send His Son to Earth looking just like one of us instead of with all sorts of glory surrounding Him? I think God did it that way to make Jesus more relatable. 

The tiny figure of Jesus I'd picked up in the lobby was cute. Anyone who didn't know this was a mini representation of  Christ, would probably guess because of all the paintings that depicted Him in this fashion. The garment was non de-script. The blue sash may have referred to His Jewishness, who knows, or it could have implied royalty. 

The more I looked at the rubber figure, the more I kept hearing in my head - "How big is your Jesus?" I knew God was asking me not about stature but about ability. Though I know God is Omnipotent, sometimes I tend to limit Him by placing my expectations of His abilities in a box. I'll pray for something important to my heart and before I give Him a chance to answer, I've already assumed the outcome. That's not the way I should react but in my humanness, I often do. 

Jesus isn't a tiny little guy I can pull out of my purse when I want and ask for something miraculous. He's not my personal Genie. He is Holy - a vital part of the Triune Godhead. 

Little Jesus is going to stay in my purse. I want to keep Him there as a visual reminder that God is always with me. I also want to keep this little guy to remind me God is so much bigger than I could ever imagine. 

I'm thankful someone left the little Jesus on the counter for me to find. I looked up on Amazon and found out I can get a whole box of 100 tiny Jesus figures for about $35. Maybe I'll order some in the future and put them in random places so others can have an epiphany, too. 

It always amazes me how God uses some of the most random things to speak to my heart, but He knows me so well. He knows I'm a visual learner and thinker. Seeing little Jesus pricked my heart to think about more than just a rubber toy. It caused me to really hone in on the love that sent Jesus here in the first place. God already had a plan of redemption ready before Adam sinned. He knew, after giving the gift of free will, there would be a very regrettable choice that would need fixing. Jesus was and still is the answer. 

My Jesus is much bigger than the little guy in my purse. I'm so thankful I know Him personally as my Lord and Savior! I hope you do, too. 

 

Ten Years!

 

This morning I woke up at 3:00 A.M. As I crawled out of bed, I remembered today was a milestone for me. 10 years ago, on June 5, I was diagnosed with stage 2B invasive ductal carcinoma breast cancer. On July 9, 10 years ago, I gave the surgeon permission to remove that cancer from my body. I had no idea what I was doing. All I could go on was her wisdom and expertise. Though I hadn't known her long, I trusted her. 

I'd been referred to Dr. Sroka after visiting a local OB/GYN. I'd visited that doc to confirm what I already knew in my heart - that I had cancer. I'm so thankful she sent me to Dr. Sroka. I'd never met a doctor like her before. 

At my first visit with Dr. S, I had to wait almost an hour for her to come into the room. When she came in, she apologized profusely and told me, even though it was 5:00 P.M., she was going to give me all the time I needed and deserved.I was impressed. 

She sat with me for over 2 hours going over the type cancer I had, how and where it was located in my body, and what her plan was to help me live as long as possible. I listened carefully as she presented options and knew I'd need to pick the most drastic one if I wanted to live. Before seeing the OB/GYN, I'd done my research.

I chose bilateral mastectomies. It would be the best way to get rid of all the cancer, but as Dr. S explained, I wouldn't know how extensive the cancer had spread until my lymph nodes were tested, too. She ended up taking out 6. 4 in the right arm and 2 in the left. 

She recommended I do chemotherapy, radiation, and antihormone therapy but said it was all up to me. I had to decide what was best for my body. 

Everyone I'd ever known who'd done chemo didn't fare well and had ultimately either died or suffered terribly for the rest of their lives with one complication or another from the treatment. I didn't want to go through that so I opted out but did agree to the radiation.

I went through 28 rounds of radiation. They had originally planned for me to do 33 with 2 extra "BOOST SESSIONS."  Halfway through treatment, I was severely burned on the right side of my chest, neck, and had damage to my lung so the radiologist made me stop for several weeks. At that time, I became extremely fatigued. I found out, when I returned for my sessions, that was normal. 

I could go on and on about those early days of treatment, how I felt, what I experienced, etc., but I won't. First of all, I don't want to relive it and second, it would take days to complete this post so I'll return to my thoughts at 3:00 A.M. this morning. 

As I fumbled through our dark bedroom toward the bathroom, I thanked God for the beautiful gift of this day. He didn't have to give me another day of life, but I was so grateful He had. 

When I got back in bed, I lay there thinking. I realized there had been many things I'd taken for granted over the past 10 years and many things I'd missed. I promised God I'd never take another day for granted again. I'd be thankful for each sunrise and sunset. I'd celebrate everything in between. 

I still don't know why He's allowed me to live this long post diagnosis, but I'm very, very thankful. I still have issues that remind me of all I went through back then. I have lymphedema in both arms which causes swelling, heaviness, and uncomfortableness. The anterior of my right lung is damaged from radiation causing major problems when I get an upper respiratory infection, I still deal with body image issues, and a host of other maladies, but those are small in the grand scheme of things. 

If I'd known back then what I know now, I think I'd have still made the same decisions regarding treatment. I may have opted for post surgical reconstruction, but I may not have. 

Through the past 10 years, I will say I know what's gotten me through each day - my faith. Without it, I wouldn't have survived this long. I don't know how people survive cancer or any debilitating disease without Jesus. And I'm so thankful He's never tired of listening to my complaints, my heartbreaks, my sadness, my despair, and my confusion over His choice to let me go through this huge trial. 

All I can say is I know He handpicked cancer for me and if He picked it, how can I dispute His choice knowing that He uses ALL things together for my good? (Romans 8:28 says "All things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purposes.")

I'm alive and I'm thankful. For the rest of my life, I'll be praising Him and telling about His great mercy and grace toward me. I'm still working on learning to thrive. It's hard but I'm taking it one day at a time. I think He understands and appreciates my efforts. Here's to starting year 11! And who knows how many He'll give me after that! A cancer diagnosis isn't necessarily a death sentence and I'm proof of that!

Doing the hard things

Obeying the commands in the Bible can often be difficult, but I've always done my best to obey them to the best of my ability. If God says for me to do something, I want to do it. That's why I became part of a prison ministry about 20 years ago. I don't even remember how I was introduced to the program, my mind isn't as sharp now as it was then! What I do remember is the ministry, Saints Prison Ministry, reaching out for volunteers to write inmates. Since I love to write, I figured it'd be a perfect way to help someone else and obey God's command. 

The ministry assigned me "pen pals." Over the years, some of those inmates have been put to death and some are still incarcerated. A few of the inmates stopped corresponding after a note or two but others have kept in touch throughout the entire 20 years. Some have been believers and others have not. Currently, my longest prison relationships are with a male believer and a female Muslim. 

When I first started writing them, I had no idea what to say. I didn't know whether to ask about their sentences or not and I had no idea how they'd respond if I did, so I left it alone. Over time, they did divulge their crimes and I felt honored to be trusted enough to receive that information. I was shocked to find out the male inmate had been sentenced to life without parole for molesting little boys. The female had been sentenced to life for second degree manslaughter. After learning of their crimes, I almost stopped writing them. Their crimes were horrendous and made me sick but then, I heard Jesus whisper in my ear, "Judge not lest ye be judged." So I kept writing. 

The ministry had given us guidelines for our own safety and protection. We weren't to give our real address. We weren't to share very personal information. Basically, we were to keep things generic. We were also given a list of prison rules regarding suitable topics, what we could send through the mail, and that all our correspondence would be read by prison staff and censored. I was thankful for those protections. 

The first few letters were very impersonal. How's the weather there? It's hot here. What do you do during the day to stay busy? Do you have friends or family who visit? I tried to think of things that might segue into other topics and help me get to know them better. It was almost like fishing. My words were the bait. If I threw them out and they were taken, I could gently and slowly reel them in to find a prize on the end - my prize though wasn't a fish, it was a person with thoughts and feelings. And though they'd committed horrible crimes in my eyes, I was reminded that all sin is horrendous in God's eyes.With Him, there are no degrees to sin. A lie is as bad as murder. 

I worked hard at building those relationships. I tried to read between the lines of what they said and didn't say. I could always tell when they were sad or lonely, angry or depressed, feeling rejected or unloved. And I began to truly care about them. 

I can't imagine what it would feel like to have all your freedoms taken away, to be locked up and separated from all you know and love... Even worse, knowing you'd spend the rest of your life behind bars, grow old and die there, it seemed a very long, harsh sentence that was difficult to grasp. 

How many times have we acted without thinking about the consequences? Our little "crimes" may not have warranted sentences like my prison inmates have received, but still, the Bible says God is Omniscient. He sees and knows everything. And one day, we'll stand before Him and give an account for our actions. Of course, as believers, our debt for those crimes has already been paid in full, but I think God will let us see a slow motion movie of the poor choices we made in order to help us understand the depth of our depravity. 

My prisoners, Charles, and Terri, have become long distance friends. I doubt I'll ever get a chance to meet them in person but I hope they've felt loved and cared about through our conversations. 

I thought about stopping all correspondence with them last week. I was tired of buying online postage to write them and it felt more of an obligation than a ministry after all these years. When I mentioned the possibility of stopping to my youngest daughter, she chided me. "Mom, you may be the only person they hear from each day." Wow...I hadn't thought of it that way. 

So today, I sat down and wrote both my inmates long emails. I tried to give them the latest news on my health, our upcoming plans, and so many other things. I tried to imagine how I'd feel if I'd waited all day to hear from a friend and the letter never came. I'd be heartbroken. 

It's sad they don't have much to look forward to, but hopefully, the emails I send bring them a little ray of sunshine on some really dark days.

 

Matthew 25:36 New King James Version (NKJV) - I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was in prison and you came to Me.

Sunday visitor

Mikey the mapping turtle

 Today we had a visitor. We don't normally get visitors on Sunday, so it was a welcomed surprise. 

Looking out the window, toward the backyard, we saw something moving. My husband went out to see what it was and quickly came back in to let me know it was a turtle. 

We've had several tortoise sightings since we moved in our new house. There's a lake nearby and the turtles love to hang out there, so we weren't surprised to find this visitor in our yard. 

Today's visitor was a mapping turtle. They're different from Gopher Tortoise, native to this area. 

I asked hubby to pick him up and bring him in the house so I could inspect him. We always try to make sure any animals that cross our path are okay and well cared for as long as we have them. 

He brought the turtle in and immediately, I noticed a big chunk missing from his carapace. It looked like he'd been hit by a lawnmower or a car at some point and had narrowly escaped. 

We put him in a box and gave him a big handful of salad greens and water. He seemed thankful to be out of the heat for a while. When he started to get antsy, we knew it was time to let him go. We didn't want to stress him out.

Before releasing him, I decided to put an identifier on him so we'd know if he came to visit again. I took some red paint and painted a heart on the back of his shell. Then I took a permanent marker and wrote the name "Mikey." I figured it might help keep him safe if anyone else came across him. They'd probably think Mikey was a pet and hopefully leave him alone. 

We don't ever like to "mess" with nature, but sometimes, it's necessary to protect them. Just like ornithologists capture and tag birds for tracking and information to help understand their habits, our markings were similar for Mikey. 

Since we've lived here, we haven't seen as much wildlife as at our old home. We've only seen a band of deer once, at our old place, we'd see them daily. We have enjoyed several nesting birds - one in a large fern on my back patio and the other just under the eave of our front porch. 

It's a joy to participate in the beauty of nature. God blesses us with His creation and His unique creatures. Every time we get a glimpse of some insect or animal  He's made, we can't help but look intently with wonder. There are so many details and so many unique qualities to each of His wildlife family. 

Yesterday, we decided to travel to several little free libraries in neighboring cities. I had a stack of my books about my cancer journey I wanted to donate. While we traveled, we saw many farm animals and flying birds overhead. We always enjoy being in rural areas and being able to experience the simple beauty of farm-life.  

Released and looking for the way home

At the very last stop, I got out to place a stack of my books in the library box. As I was closing the door, a beautiful swallowtail flew in front of me and then encircled me as I walked back to the car. It was as if God was whispering, "Did you see Me today?" "Did you see Me in My creations?" 

Closing the car door, I smiled and breathed a little prayer toward heaven. "Yes, God, I saw You today! I saw you in the white, puffy clouds. I saw you in the brilliant blue sky. I saw you in the carpets of green grass, in the cows quietly chewing their cud, in the streams we crossed over, and most certainly in that lovely butterfly you sent my way. 

I pray God will watch over Mikey and protect him. Poor thing with a chunk out of his shell! I know Mikey didn't feel it when I painted the heart and wrote the name on his shell, but as I did it, I hoped he didn't mind too much. 

I feel closest to God when I'm out in nature. Perhaps it's because of all the peace and quietude I feel there. Being in nature allows me to focus solely on Him without distractions the world often throws my way. 

Please be good stewards and guardians of God's creation and creatures. Many people take both of these for granted. If we don't take good care of them, we may not have them to enjoy in the years to come. I don't know about you, but I need them. They bring me happiness and joy.