Money, money, money, money....MONEY!

This morning I was scheduled for a barium swallow study at the hospital. Thankfully, hubs took off work and went with me.

The test was different from the last one I'd had done way back in the 70s. I was so glad! I didn't have to swallow that nasty, chalky barium liquid like I did when they were testing me for gallbladder issues then. Nope, the stuff they gave me today was fairly pleasant.

They started off having me swallow a light barium liquid. I had to hold it in my mouth until they said swallow and as the liquid was going down, they filmed it. Next, we progressed to a thicker mixture. After several images, they gave me a spoonful of what looked like marshmallow creme. I called it Fluffy Whip and the technician laughed. After I'd gotten that down and the video had been filmed, I was given a graham cracker with more Fluffy Whip on top. It took a few minutes to chew and swallow. As they filmed that one, the girl asked me if it was difficult to swallow and I had to shake my head yes. The food wasn't going down well.

When the test was over, the tech asked if I'd like to see my films. I was really surprised. I thought that was against the rules but I did want to see them and was amazed to watch my body in action. On the cookie swallow, the tech showed me where the food got hung in my throat. She said that indicated a problem that needed to be addressed by a gastrointestinal doctor. Apparently, they're going to refer me to one for a follow up, so that means more medical expense. I sure hope it's nothing serious. My brother had esophageal cancer. I don't know what I'd do if they said that about me...

On the way home from the appointment, we stopped by Wally World to pick up some groceries. I got mostly produce and about fell out when the bill was tallied and the total was $324.00!!! Oh my stars! It's total insanity! I don't know how in the world people are going to manage with groceries out of sight and gas prices continually rising. Thankfully, I had a credit card in my purse otherwise, it would have been a fiasco.

On top of that, the water pump in my car went out and the mechanic said we have a major oil leak. The estimate is just under $1000.00! Whoa! We've been doing our best to maintain our old cars in order to avoid a car payment, but hey...it looks like a new car is definitely in our future. Patching up these old ones is getting more and more expensive.

And how do folks manage when they're on a fixed income? Soon we'll be living solely on Social Security and I have no idea how we'll survive, but I can't borrow trouble. I can only focus on today and trust that God has our future in His competent hands.

It's hard to make it in today's world. Everything seems to be getting more and more expensive. I'm glad I grew up poor because I know how to squeeze pennies until they bleed.

Life is challenging but we always have to be grateful for our many blessings.

Okay. My rant for the day is over. Truly, I am blessed beyond measure. Some days are just tough.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it. This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair. But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules.

Cancer the gift that keeps on giving - the high cost of cancer

There's a basket of bills sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I try not to look at it as I enter the room but I know it's there. Its contents spill out onto the floor whenever my husband stuffs another bill into the basket. Usually, when the mail comes, he gets it first so he can filter what I see and what I don't see. Since he's the only one working, he takes care of our financial responsibilities and while I'm thankful for that, I'm not ignorant about our mounting bills. Cancer is expensive. Even if you've reached maintenance phase, it's costly. There are always tests to be run, blood to be taken, doctors to see. It never ends. Just knowing this will be a continual process for the rest of my life frustrates me and the alternative, death, will be my only way out. It would be nice to know that cancer could be a once and done kind of thing but that's only wishful thinking. Everyone knows cancer is a long and very involved illness. I had no id

Annual checkup yields good news!

Yesterday I went to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America for my annual check up. For those unfamiliar with the cancer treatment center, it's an integrative facility that provides services for the body, mind, and spirit. My day began in the survivorship department. While there, I met with the doctor and was asked about how I'd been feeling both physically and emotionally. We talked for about half an hour. The doctor and I had a few laughs and it was probably the most pleasant visit I've ever had. Instead of making me feel that she was the doctor and I was the patient, I felt like we were old friends just having a good chat. It was refreshing and I left her office feeling very optimistic. Next was the port lab where I have my blood drawn. It's always a challenge there because I always have to explain about my lymphedema and why it's necessary to have blood drawn from my hand instead of my arm. You'd think, after 4 years of being a patient there, they'

Journey Out of Pink

Search This Blog