Normal feels good!

Lush berries ripe on the vine

Today was a gorgeous sunny day! After church, we decided to visit a local farm that was open for a few hours. They were offering to let folks pick berries - strawberries, blackberries, and blueberries. Since I'd already visited at the end of May for strawberries, we decided today would be a blueberry picking day.

My husband and I checked in at the farm's checkout stand, picked up our buckets and headed into the fields to pick berries. We had arrived right when they opened so there were only a handful of people there and none of them were interested in the blueberries. It was nice to have the blueberry fields all to ourselves.

We picked and picked for about an hour. The sun was getting hot, and we were so thankful we'd thought to bring our hats and sunglasses.

A young mother and her little boy joined us for berry picking and we enjoyed listening to the little boy get so excited over every berry he found. Each time he'd spot a berry, he'd yell out - "Mom! I found a big one!" Of course, we couldn't help but laugh and be reminded of the times we'd brought our granddaughter, Heather, to pick berries with us. She'd done the same thing.

As we moved down the rows of bushes, I let Phil pick the high berries and I picked the low ones. Everything was going along great and our buckets were getting full until I looked down and found my feet covered in ants! They were biting like crazy and all of a sudden, I was jumping up and down trying to get them off my feet. I should have remembered not to wear sandals. Last year, I'd had the same thing happen but it was too late now.

I did the best I could to brush the ants off and move out of that area fast. Phil kept picking a little longer while I stood in a "safe zone."

As I stood in the bright sunshine watching him pick, I took some photos of the berries and of my husband. As I was working, I realized how good it felt to be doing something normal for a change. I wasn't having to be concerned about any doctor's appointments. I wasn't having to be concerned about feeling bad or having an upcoming test. It was just a good day! How long had it been since I'd had a really good day, I wondered? It seemed like it had been a pretty long time.

Me in berry bushes

It's amazing how much we take for granted when our health is good, isn't it? But when it's not so good, even the slightest thing can be a chore.

We picked about 11 pounds of blueberries so I'd say we had a pretty productive day. Tomorrow, I'll be busy making jam.

I'm thankful I had the opportunity and the energy to go pick berries today. I'm thankful the weather was perfect and the farm was open, usually they're only open on weekdays. I'm thankful I got a chance to talk with little Issac and his mother as he was picking berries and to overhear his joy. I'm thankful the berries will provide months of deliciousness to our biscuits, pancakes, and toast. Most of all, I'm thankful I'm alive and can do something normal again. Normal feels good!

I hope you don't take your everyday "normal" for granted. You never know when it could be snatched away from you by some rogue injury, illness, or disease. Be thankful for every day and for the many blessings that come your way. They're too good to miss.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it. This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair. But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules.

Cancer the gift that keeps on giving - the high cost of cancer

There's a basket of bills sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I try not to look at it as I enter the room but I know it's there. Its contents spill out onto the floor whenever my husband stuffs another bill into the basket. Usually, when the mail comes, he gets it first so he can filter what I see and what I don't see. Since he's the only one working, he takes care of our financial responsibilities and while I'm thankful for that, I'm not ignorant about our mounting bills. Cancer is expensive. Even if you've reached maintenance phase, it's costly. There are always tests to be run, blood to be taken, doctors to see. It never ends. Just knowing this will be a continual process for the rest of my life frustrates me and the alternative, death, will be my only way out. It would be nice to know that cancer could be a once and done kind of thing but that's only wishful thinking. Everyone knows cancer is a long and very involved illness. I had no id

Annual checkup yields good news!

Yesterday I went to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America for my annual check up. For those unfamiliar with the cancer treatment center, it's an integrative facility that provides services for the body, mind, and spirit. My day began in the survivorship department. While there, I met with the doctor and was asked about how I'd been feeling both physically and emotionally. We talked for about half an hour. The doctor and I had a few laughs and it was probably the most pleasant visit I've ever had. Instead of making me feel that she was the doctor and I was the patient, I felt like we were old friends just having a good chat. It was refreshing and I left her office feeling very optimistic. Next was the port lab where I have my blood drawn. It's always a challenge there because I always have to explain about my lymphedema and why it's necessary to have blood drawn from my hand instead of my arm. You'd think, after 4 years of being a patient there, they'

Journey Out of Pink

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