Skip to main content

Death doesn't scare me much any more

Yesterday, we had some powerful storms roll through our neighborhood. At first it was just raining really hard and then the winds picked up. Things began slamming against the house and I was afraid windows would be broken. The rain came in torrents and it was difficult to see what was happening outside. I didn't know if we were under a severe weather advisory or not because my weather radio did not sound an alarm. As things seemed to progress and the winds grew stronger, I wondered if perhaps a tornado was approaching. I decided to be safe and go into an interior room of my house until things calmed down a little. While I was in that little room, I began to pray. I asked God to put a hedge of protection over our house and keep me safe. After about an hour, the rains began to dwindle and the wind stopped blowing. I was thankful.

I have many a brush with death over my 58 years of life. The first came when I was 13. My gallbladder ruptured allowing gangrene to spread quickly through my body. If it weren't for the quick thinking on my doctor's part, I wouldn't be here today. The next near death experience came in 1991 when I was involved in a severe automobile accident. I was hit head on and my right leg was crushed. If I hadn't been driving a larger, older model car, I wouldn't have made it but God's providence protected me. My last brush with death was 2 years ago when I was diagnosed with breast cancer. Once again, God allowed me to live instead of die.

Death doesn't scare me too much anymore. When you've stared it in the face over and over again, you come to the realization that not one thing is in your control. It's easier to accept that fact that God holds my days in the palm of His hand than to worry about what may or may not happen in the next minute or in the next few days. I have learned to live in the moment and for that, I'm so grateful.

My next door neighbor called me a few minutes ago and told me a tornado skirted across her property yesterday afternoon. She said there were 17 large pine trees down and many others were twisted off at the tops. Limbs and all sorts of debris covered her property. That explains why the weather was so terrible. I'm so thankful God protected us both. She has also had several brushes with death. Twenty three years ago she was diagnosed with breast cancer. She went through treatment and spent years being cancer free. Last year, she was told her cancer had come back and now she's got stage 4 metastatic cancer. She and I both know we can't take a single day for granted. It's amazing what it takes to make some people realize how very short life is...don't waste any time! Live for today and don't be afraid of what may happen tomorrow. Death has no power over you. God says in His Word that it's appointed once for man to die and after that the judgment. We don't need to fear death but we do need to be concerned that we are living the way God wants us to live day to day. Life is amazingly short and the older I get, the more I realize this to be true. Count your blessings and be grateful! You never know when God will call you home.

bonnie annis all rights reserved

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it. This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair. But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules.

Cancer the gift that keeps on giving - the high cost of cancer

There's a basket of bills sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I try not to look at it as I enter the room but I know it's there. Its contents spill out onto the floor whenever my husband stuffs another bill into the basket. Usually, when the mail comes, he gets it first so he can filter what I see and what I don't see. Since he's the only one working, he takes care of our financial responsibilities and while I'm thankful for that, I'm not ignorant about our mounting bills. Cancer is expensive. Even if you've reached maintenance phase, it's costly. There are always tests to be run, blood to be taken, doctors to see. It never ends. Just knowing this will be a continual process for the rest of my life frustrates me and the alternative, death, will be my only way out. It would be nice to know that cancer could be a once and done kind of thing but that's only wishful thinking. Everyone knows cancer is a long and very involved illness. I had no id

Incoming!

 When I was a kid, I remember listening to my Daddy occasionally talk about being in the service. Those occasions were very rare so whenever he'd talk, I'd really listen. Once he told about being outside a bunker in Japan. He said planes were flying overhead and he heard a guy yell, "Incoming!" They knew that meant it was imperative to take cover and they did, but some of the soldiers weren't fast enough. They lost their lives in a split second.  That one word was a very serious warning and one I never forgot. I think my eyes bugged out of my head when he first said it although he didn't say it in a frightening way. I imagined the sounds of aircraft overhead as the warning went out. And imagined how I'd have felt if I'd been right there with him. I'd have been petrified, probably unable to move. No wonder so many soldiers came back from war with post traumatic stress syndrome (PTSD). And when they were freshly home, it didn't take much to set t