Mountain Getaway

This past weekend, we had a lovely getaway to the mountains. We always enjoy going to North Georgia at the end of Summer or the beginning of Fall. This year, we went a little earlier than usual, so the trees hadn't started turning yet. It's always so pretty when the bright reds, oranges, and yellows of the leaves dot the mountainside with color. Even though the mountains were just covered in greenery, it was still pretty and we enjoyed the peacefulness. It's amazing what going days without hearing any traffic does for the soul.

If I had my way, we'd live in the mountains in a little log cabin. I've always wanted to live in one and so has my sweet hubby. But as we grow older, we've realized we have to let some of our dreams go and err on the side of practicality. We need to be around family and all of the kids live in the city.

Next year, we'll be making some big decisions on where we want to be for the remainder of our lives. We have no idea where God will lead us, but we're trusting He's got it all worked out for us.

It's hard no knowing what the future holds, but really, all we can do is plan and hope things work out, right? I mean "Mann Tracht, Un Gott Lacht” is an old Yiddish adage meaning, “Man Plans, and God Laughs.” Despite our most careful planning, the Road of Life is unpredictable. I guess that's what makes it so fun!

Sometimes I wonder if God is sitting up ther on His big white throne looking down from heaven watching us like little ants. Of course, He knows what we're going to do before we do it, because He's Omnisicent, but it'd be fun to know how He sees us. Does He sit like a doting Father, hand to forehead thinking, " Oh no! Don't do that!" or "If you only knew what that choice would bring..." Since we have the gift of free will, He doesn't interfere with our choices but Jeremiah 29:11 says He has a good plan for us, to prosper us and not to harm us.

Growing old is for the birds. I don't like it one bit! My body balks when I get out of bed. Joints and muscles I never noticed before now scream out in pain. When I look in the mirror, I see more gray hairs, more wrinkles, and more saggy skin. Daily I'm reminded this old body is wearing out.

Sure, I could have taken better care of it when I was in my teens, but who thinks about approaching 70 then? When we're young we think we're immortal, but oh, how quickly time proves us wrong.

Several of my friends have lost their spouses recently and those losses have caused me to give pause to my own life. What would I do if I suddenly lost my mate? I'd be so lost and lonely I couldn't bear it! I don't even want to think about it, so I'll change the subject now.

I'm reminded God has numbered my days. I don't know how many He's allotted to me, but my time is in His hands. That's why I'm doing my best to take one day at a time now and enjoy each one to the fullest. It's hard, especially for a long term planner like me, but I'm trying.

Vacations help slow me down. That's why we try to take one or two a year. When I'm on vacation, I don't think about the day to day routines, I'm more apt to let my hair down and just chill. Believe me, this old body needs to do a whole lot more of that! In fact, it could use being put on ice a few days!

If you're finding yourself stressing out about daily life, plan a mini vacation. Get way from the daily grind. Find a place of respite and soak in some peace. It will do wonders for you, it surely will.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it. This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair. But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules.

Cancer the gift that keeps on giving - the high cost of cancer

There's a basket of bills sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I try not to look at it as I enter the room but I know it's there. Its contents spill out onto the floor whenever my husband stuffs another bill into the basket. Usually, when the mail comes, he gets it first so he can filter what I see and what I don't see. Since he's the only one working, he takes care of our financial responsibilities and while I'm thankful for that, I'm not ignorant about our mounting bills. Cancer is expensive. Even if you've reached maintenance phase, it's costly. There are always tests to be run, blood to be taken, doctors to see. It never ends. Just knowing this will be a continual process for the rest of my life frustrates me and the alternative, death, will be my only way out. It would be nice to know that cancer could be a once and done kind of thing but that's only wishful thinking. Everyone knows cancer is a long and very involved illness. I had no id

Annual checkup yields good news!

Yesterday I went to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America for my annual check up. For those unfamiliar with the cancer treatment center, it's an integrative facility that provides services for the body, mind, and spirit. My day began in the survivorship department. While there, I met with the doctor and was asked about how I'd been feeling both physically and emotionally. We talked for about half an hour. The doctor and I had a few laughs and it was probably the most pleasant visit I've ever had. Instead of making me feel that she was the doctor and I was the patient, I felt like we were old friends just having a good chat. It was refreshing and I left her office feeling very optimistic. Next was the port lab where I have my blood drawn. It's always a challenge there because I always have to explain about my lymphedema and why it's necessary to have blood drawn from my hand instead of my arm. You'd think, after 4 years of being a patient there, they'

Journey Out of Pink

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