A letter to my forever friend

A letter to my forever friend, the red headed wonder:

Where should I start? I guess I'll start with my first memory of you. I had just been diagnosed with breast cancer and was on Facebook looking to join breast cancer groups. I had no idea what I was facing and needed some support. I don't remember which one I met you on, but you took the time to answer one of my posts and not only that, you offered to come and visit me. You said you'd help me understand some of the things that I was going to be facing. I was both excited and nervous to get your response. I don't normally meet with strangers and I was scared.

You weren't able to come until a few days after I'd had surgery. I remember when the doorbell rang I was so embarrassed. I didn't want you to see me with the Jackson Prstt drains dangling from my neck. They were so ugly and my wounds were so raw, but you said you didn't care. You'd already been through that. You knew what they were, drainage tubes that pulled fluid and blood away from the wounds. 

Within just a few minutes of talking with you, I felt completely at ease. You smiled a big smile and gave me a bear hug. It was so nice to have an instant friend, one who understood the things I couldn't say.

I wasn't sure at that time whether I would go through with reconstruction surgery as my breast surgeon advised and I told you so. You threw your head back and laughed. You even offered to show me your "Foobs" as you called them, fake boobs. You told me they were great and that I'd get a free tummy tuck, too. You wanted me to know what they might look like if I decided to go forward with surgery. I said, Thanks, but no thanks." Though I didn't explain, I think you understood I was afraid to look at them. I was afraid seeing them would freak me out. 

I don't remember how long you stayed that first visit but the day seemed to last forever. When it was time for you to go, you promised to come back again soon. I was thankful. 

Since that first meeting over 11 years ago, we've done our best to keep up but often life gets in the way. I love it whe we find time to meet for lunch, it's so nice to talk freely, sharing our hopes, fears, and dreams. Those times are rare because of conflicting schedules. Thankfully, we can touch base through social media or quick texts. But after each contact, I want more. It's almost like you're a drug and I need a fix. You're so strong in your cancer walk and I'm still figuring things out.

One of the things I love most about you is your attitude of gratitude. You've taught me to look for things each day that I can be thankful for and that has helped me develop a spirit of positivity.

When I look at you, dear friend, I don't see a breast cancer survivor, I see a thriver. I see a brave woman on the outside. I see a woman who is a world traveler, a person who never meets a stranger, and a person who always loves. You give so much of yourself to each who meet you. 

None of us know what the future holds, but we know Who holds the future. I pray that you will always be safe in your travels, that you will always know you are loved, and that you will always have the opportunity to share your story to others.

You are a blessing and it is my honor to call you friend.

With love,

Bonnie 

My TBR pile is growing!

Books, you either love them or hate them. Personally, I love and collect them. Lately, I've noticed my TBR (to be read) pile is growing. I don't know how, but it seems my books are multiplying while I'm not looking. But I'm not finding any book babies, just grownups waiting their turn to be read. 

Some days I feel like reading, and some days I don't. When it's hot outside, I don't care to sit and read. On the other hand, when it's cool and there's a nice breeze, I love sitting outside reading for hours. There's just something about being in nature and holding a book in your hand as a story comes alive. 

Just a few of my recent haul

I'm finding I enjoy many different authors now than I did in the past. Some of my current favorites are Elin Hilderbrand, Susan Wiggs, and Sandra Brown. I especially love their series, but hate it when I buy one of their books without knowing it's in the middle of a series. When I read the third or fourth in a series and then realize my faux pas, I have to order every book in the series and start over. That can be a costly mistake! Thank heavens for ThriftBooks. I can usually find good used books there or through Better World Books. 

 Not only do I read for fun, I also read for businesses. I review their books and in exchange for my honest opinion, I get a free book. It's a win win situation. Sometimes the books are boring but most times they're very interesting. I love reading different genres but stay away from anything that revolves around the occult, witchcraft, or dark topics. 
 

Books are so fun and I hope all of my children and grandchildren take joy in reading. There's nothing like opening a book and finding yourself thrust into adventure.  

Insomnia sucks

Whe tired, most people look forward to the end of the day. They long to crawl into a nice, comfy bed and go to sleep. I used to feel that way, but for some reason, over the past few years, insomnia has taken over my life. 

I've tried every natural remedy I can think of from tart cherry juice to melatonin and all things in between, but nothing has worked. So I've resorted to asking for help from my doctors. 

The primary care physician wanted me to be on benzos but I said no thanks! The pulmonologist wants me to be on an antidepressant which is also used off label for chronic insomnia. I agreed to try it. So far, day one was a bust. No sleep for me! Hopefully tonight will be better. 

Dealing with things we can't control is hard. Our bodies do things that confound and amaze us. They're quite remarkable. And that's why I'm hoping this situation will come to an end soon and things will start working like they used to. It's no fun being broken.