It's almost the end of September, can you believe it? I can't. I'm already bracing for impact. This is the time of year I hate most, not the end of September per se, but the beginning of October. Why do I hate October, well, it's because this will be my 10th Pinktober.
Pinktober is a phrase that was coined when the Susan G. Komen Foundation made pink ribbons their world famous logo. The ribbon was chosen to represent the founder's beloved sister who passed away from breast cancer. I'll have to admit, Pinktober is a cute name for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but I don't like pink.
When I was a little girl, my Mom wanted to dress me up in frilly pink dresses, but I hated them. I wasn't a girly girl. I was a bonafide tomboy. Pink reminded me of Pepto Bismal and that over the counter medication always made me think of illness. Whenever I had a stomach ache, that was the go to remedy.
To this day, I hate the color of Pepto Bismal.
I don't know why I have such an aversion to pink. It's probably because, in my mind, pink represents femininity and I've never felt very feminine.
When most girls my age were watching their bosoms develop into those of young women, I remained flat as a board. When they wanted to play dress up or play with dolls, I wanted to be outside climbing trees. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. I didn't fit the mold of what a little girl should be - all dainty and cute. I was more of a ripped jeans and t shirt kind of girl. I was the one with unkempt hair and dirty under my nails. And speaking of nails, to this day I don't get manicures or pedicures. To me they're a waste of time.
This past weekend, my husband and I came home from a week long vacation. My son had invited us to join him in the mountains. He has a timeshare in North Carolina and knows how much getting out in nature means to me. We agreed to meet him at work and pick him up so we could travel together. It was going to be a great time of rest and relaxation. We were looking forward to it.
One day, we decided to go hiking. There were several waterfalls nearby. We loaded up the car and headed out. It was a gloriously beautiful day. The sun was shining and it was a mild 72 degrees. When we got out of the car and headed for the trail, I noticed my son was wearing a t shirt his company designed for breast cancer awareness. Across the back of his shirt was the name of his company, beneath that was an American flag with a bright pink breast cancer ribbon on the far right. Beneath that were the words "What's Important Now." The W, I, and N were also in bright pink. I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, my son had worn that shirt to let me know he loved and cared about me. It was special to see he and his company wanted to be part of sharing the importance of breast cancer with others.
I have to say, before my own diagnosis, I rarely paid attention to the pink ribbons. The first year after diagnosis, I wanted everything I saw that had a breast cancer ribbon on it. I purchased hats, t shirts, purses, tennis shoes, you name it, I had it. Now, I don't want a thing with a pink ribbon on it. I guess you could say, after 10 years of being submerged in a sea of pink, I'm over it. At first I swam hard in that sea. A few years later, I relaxed and floated lazily along. Now I'm treading water wondering, if one day, I'll be thrust into the sea of pink again.
I don't like pink, as previously stated, and I especially don't like pink ribbons. Yes, they are a good thing in many ways - they make people stop and think about breast cancer or perhaps, remind them of someone dear they've loved and lost to the disease. Whatever the case, as I said in an article I wrote back in 2018, "One thing is for sure, that little pink ribbon is a symbol known all over the world. No words need to be spoken. The meaning is clear. Breast cancer can affect men, women, and even children. It touches the lives of all races and religions. Breast cancer is nasty business and changes lives forever. And if we can make sure people understand that, while offering information on prevention and care, then I say, Brace yourself, the tide is rising, the water is gathering at your feet."
Pink makes you think, especially when it colors that famous ribbon. I pray this year, as you see them pop up, they'll remind you of two things:
1. The importance of breast self exams and regular mammograms.
2. Not to forget that breast cancer isn't a respecter of persons. It can strike anywhere, anytime and may affect someone you love.
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