The creative juices are flowing again!

We've been in our new home for almost two weeks now and we've unpacked almost all the boxes. It feels good to see things starting to fall into place and this once empty house is beginning to feel like home.

I've missed doing all of my art projects! Art is my self-imposed therapy. While I've always loved art since childhood, it became more important to me after being diagnosed with cancer. Art helped express my deepest feelings, the ones I couldn't voice. I didn't realize how important it was to me until we began packing to move.

Cramming my art supplies in boxes was painful. Hundreds of brushes, paints, palettes, knives, and other materials would lie dormant until I had time to pull them out again. And though I wanted to open those boxes when we first arrived, I needed to prepare a place to do art. I didn't have a designated studio. Nope. I'd have to use one of the guest rooms in my new house. The only problem was the carpet. Any artist knows paint inevitably spills or drops on the floor. Carpet isn't a good thing to have in a studio/art area.

I got on the internet searching for something to put under my easel. I could use a canvas drop cloth, but it would bunch under my feet and I'd probably trip, so I nixed that idea. I knew I wanted something that would be waterproof and easy to clean but didn't know what. I would've been nice to have a clear plastic mat, like the ones you use for a rolling chair at a desk, but I'd need one much bigger. When I couldn't find one, I opted for the next best thing - a splat mat. It's a waterproof mat for use under highchairs. I found one with rainbows on it in various shades of tan and brown which would perfectly match the carpet.

My easel was sitting in the garage of our new house so I could get to it quickly. I set up the splat mat and placed the easel on top. Perfect! But the room looked empty with the stark white walls. Something had to be done about that.

Pulling out my Cricut cutting machine and a huge roll of black vinyl, I got to work. I wanted to make a fun, funky, abstract border. After about half an hour of designing my images, I began cutting the vinyl. I cut out 15 separate 12x12 sheets then I began the process of weeding. (That's where you take a small pick like tool and remove the portions of vinyl you don't want to adhere to your surface.) Another hour passed and finally I had all 15 art sections weeded and ready for placement.

I measured and marked the wall so I'd know where each sheet would go, then I transferred the images from one sheet at a time to a piece of transfer paper. Next, I took the transfer paper to the wall and lined it up with my markings before permanently adhering the images to the wall.

The whole process took up most of my day but when the project was complete, I was happy! I'd created my own little artsy space.

I haven't decided what I'm going to work on first, but I imagine it will be something Easter related. I like to do paintings and donate to various ministries.

Now to find the boxes with my gesso, paints, and canvases then I can get busy. I'm so thankful I have a creative outlet. It makes my life so much fun!

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it. This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair. But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules.

Cancer the gift that keeps on giving - the high cost of cancer

There's a basket of bills sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I try not to look at it as I enter the room but I know it's there. Its contents spill out onto the floor whenever my husband stuffs another bill into the basket. Usually, when the mail comes, he gets it first so he can filter what I see and what I don't see. Since he's the only one working, he takes care of our financial responsibilities and while I'm thankful for that, I'm not ignorant about our mounting bills. Cancer is expensive. Even if you've reached maintenance phase, it's costly. There are always tests to be run, blood to be taken, doctors to see. It never ends. Just knowing this will be a continual process for the rest of my life frustrates me and the alternative, death, will be my only way out. It would be nice to know that cancer could be a once and done kind of thing but that's only wishful thinking. Everyone knows cancer is a long and very involved illness. I had no id

Annual checkup yields good news!

Yesterday I went to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America for my annual check up. For those unfamiliar with the cancer treatment center, it's an integrative facility that provides services for the body, mind, and spirit. My day began in the survivorship department. While there, I met with the doctor and was asked about how I'd been feeling both physically and emotionally. We talked for about half an hour. The doctor and I had a few laughs and it was probably the most pleasant visit I've ever had. Instead of making me feel that she was the doctor and I was the patient, I felt like we were old friends just having a good chat. It was refreshing and I left her office feeling very optimistic. Next was the port lab where I have my blood drawn. It's always a challenge there because I always have to explain about my lymphedema and why it's necessary to have blood drawn from my hand instead of my arm. You'd think, after 4 years of being a patient there, they'

Journey Out of Pink

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