The New Year has begun

It's hard to believe we're already on the third day of the new year. 2023 came fast and hard. I'm afraid it's going to be a tough year for many.

Yesterday, Phil and I decided to visit Callaway Gardens again. We've had an annual membership for some time and always enjoy going to visit the butterfly house there.When we arrived, there weren't many people and we wondered if perhaps the gardens were closed, but they were open.

We drove through the gardens and were surprised to see the Christmas lights still up. We've never had the opportunity to see them lit, but according to the varied displays we saw as we drove, it must have been spectacular.

When we pulled into the parking lot of the Day Butterfly Center, we noticed they'd recently graded the parking lot and made it a lot bigger. That was a much needed change that will provide places for many more guests.

We went inside and just in the foyer was a large, beautifully decorated Christmas tree. Though Christmas was technically over, we enjoyed looking at it and longing for the next Christmas to come.

Approaching the doors to the butterfly conservatory, we couldn't help but notice the wall of hatchlings next to us. Row upon row of beautiful cocoons hung there. Some cocoons were large and some were small. Several new butterflies hung from cocoons as the new creatures pumped their wings and prepared for flight.

We opened the door to the conservatory and were immediately blasted with air. The staff have this purposely orchestrated to keep the butterflies in the center instead of allowing them to escape as people come and go.

Hundreds of butterflies were in the air. The colors were brilliant as we walked down the path through the lush greenery. I took several photos of plants I'd never seen before. Their blooms were gorgeous and made me wonder what a tropical paradise would be like.

Within a few minutes, I was able to move my finger in front of a pretty butterfly. As I waited patiently, it climbed on my finger and sat there while another butterfly moved quickly past. I felt the quick brush of wings and thought of the song, "Butterfly kisses."

I held my special friend for a few minutes admiring its beauty. Then, I looked for a child to pass the creature on to and saw a little oriental boy just ahead of me. Slowly I walked toward him, smiling. He smiled back and as I extended my hand to ask if he wanted to hold the butterfly, he shied away, hiding behind his father's leg.

The mother came alongside me and I began to speak to her. I wasn't sure they understood English and I could only remember a few phrases in Mandarin, so I spoke slowly hoping someone in the group could understand me.

The father, little boy, and grandmother leaned in to look at the butterfly as I explained to the mother that they don't bite and I'd love to pass the creature on to one of them to enjoy.

I held out my hand and the father stepped forward. I said, "Hold out your hand," and as he did, I slipped the butterfly slowly onto his finger. The little boy watched carefully as his father held the butterfly but was still afraid and didn't want to hold it.

I stepped back and smiled. The father was so excited to hold the butterfly. It warmed my heart to see the joy on his face.

We wandered through the rest of the center and then headed outside to hike. Although it was January, the day was warm and perfect for hiking.

When it was time for lunch, we took our time making it to the picnic tables at Robin Beach. I unpacked the sandwiches I'd made and we sat down to eat.

A large flock of Canada Geese flew overhead in a beautiful V formation before landing on the lake.

It was a good day and we enjoyed our time outdoors.

We're hoping this new year will be filled with opportunities to enjoy being out in nature. Both Phil and I love being outside.

May the new year bring you chances for adventure, too. We could all use a little more of that in our lives.

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it. This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair. But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules.

Cancer the gift that keeps on giving - the high cost of cancer

There's a basket of bills sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I try not to look at it as I enter the room but I know it's there. Its contents spill out onto the floor whenever my husband stuffs another bill into the basket. Usually, when the mail comes, he gets it first so he can filter what I see and what I don't see. Since he's the only one working, he takes care of our financial responsibilities and while I'm thankful for that, I'm not ignorant about our mounting bills. Cancer is expensive. Even if you've reached maintenance phase, it's costly. There are always tests to be run, blood to be taken, doctors to see. It never ends. Just knowing this will be a continual process for the rest of my life frustrates me and the alternative, death, will be my only way out. It would be nice to know that cancer could be a once and done kind of thing but that's only wishful thinking. Everyone knows cancer is a long and very involved illness. I had no id

Annual checkup yields good news!

Yesterday I went to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America for my annual check up. For those unfamiliar with the cancer treatment center, it's an integrative facility that provides services for the body, mind, and spirit. My day began in the survivorship department. While there, I met with the doctor and was asked about how I'd been feeling both physically and emotionally. We talked for about half an hour. The doctor and I had a few laughs and it was probably the most pleasant visit I've ever had. Instead of making me feel that she was the doctor and I was the patient, I felt like we were old friends just having a good chat. It was refreshing and I left her office feeling very optimistic. Next was the port lab where I have my blood drawn. It's always a challenge there because I always have to explain about my lymphedema and why it's necessary to have blood drawn from my hand instead of my arm. You'd think, after 4 years of being a patient there, they'

Journey Out of Pink

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