Tuesday, February 12, 2019

Love is in the Air

Almost one and a half months have passed since we rang in the New Year and it's hard to believe how fast time is flying! My grandmother always used to say, "The older you get, the faster the years go," and she was right! Since reaching my 61st year, time goes by at lightening speed.

Love is in the air and hearts are everywhere! Valentine's Day will soon be here. Isn't it nice to have a month devoted to the celebration of love? I think so. At least it's not a month devoted to an emotion like anger or hate, that would be bad...really bad. All kidding aside, I love this month - did you get that, I said I LOVE this month, haha. In my humble opinion, love should be celebrated not just on Valentine's Day but every day. Love makes the world go around, or so the song says. But these days, it seems love is hard to find for some. There are so many wrapped up in worldly ambitions and evil desires that love seems to be a think of the past, at least love celebrated in the way God intended it to be but I won't climb up on my soapbox just yet.

Today, I'm not focusing on Valentine's Day, although I should be. Instead, my focus is on cancer, namely my cancer. Speaking of that, today is the day I go for my six month check up. I always get anxious before those visits. It's not easy going to have bloodwork done and waiting for the results. Those results will either determine I'm good for another year or heaven forbid, if the cancer has returned, treatment will start again. I don't even want to think about that.

Walking into the cancer treatment center is always overwhelming. There are so many people there and all in various stages of treatment for some sort of cancer. At times, I feel like I don't belong. I don't look sick any longer. The only way anyone could tell I'd ever had cancer is the fact that I'm missing both breasts and I wear compression sleeves for lymphedema. And to see those things, one would have to look closely, very closely, because I do my best to hide those facts.

I wish there was a way to move completely out of cancerland leaving it behind forever, but that isn't an option when you're dealt the cancer card. It's a lifelong game until you die and yeh, I know that sounded morbid, but it's the truth.

So, today, as I head off to the treatment center, I'll be thinking about love. I'll think about how much I love my husband, my family, and my life. And while I don't being constantly reminded of my bout with cancer, I'll accept it as a part of my "new normal." (I really hate that terminology!)


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