Skip to main content

The year is coming to a close

The beautiful Blue Ridge Mountains
Heavens! It's been a long time since I've written on my blog. I don't have any excuse other than life has happened and I've been busy enjoying it.

Since my last post, I've become a sexagenarian. Yep! My 60th birthday was a doozy. We spent it in the beautiful mountains of North Georgia. And while I don't feel one minute older than I did before I reached this humongous milestone, I look in the mirror and realize I am sooooo much older than I used to be.

Time seems to be marching ever forward and at an alarming rate of speed. It seems like yesterday was January 1 and now it's December 10th! Where has the time gone???? And why does it seem to move so much faster the older I get???? As time seems to be fleeting, I realize we truly are a vapor, here today and gone tomorrow.
Hubby and I in our Santa hats

At the time of this writing, my last remaining uncle on my father's side of the family has been admitted to hospice care. He isn't doing well and chances are, he won't be here through the end of the year. My mother is also not doing well. She's currently in hospice care, as well. The reality of the brevity of life looms overhead. And this truth causes me to stop and rethink my own mortality.

What do I want for the New Year? Usually, I set goal after goal in hopes of accomplishing great and mighty things. And while this is an admirable thing to do, I usually fall short and find myself wallowing in self-pity. So maybe this year, I don't need to make that list of New Year's resolutions. There's no need to aim for goals I know I can't reach. Instead, I think I'll focus on just learning to take one day at a time. That doesn't seem so lofty, and in fact, it seems like something I should have learned to do many, many years ago. Why haven't I mastered that feat yet? Why is it so difficult to practice the art of presence? Learning to live in the moment should be an easy thing but for me, it's not. I'm always, always, always thinking ahead.

Perhaps being given a second chance at life has helped hone my focus just a bit. Instead of taking life so for granted, I want to live each day forward with purpose. But how can I do that unless I become intentional about making each moment of every single day count? That's why I feel it important to learn to take one day at a time. 24 hours. 1440 minutes. That seems doable.

So I won't be making my long list of grand goals and plans for the New Year. That way, I won't disappoint myself. What I will do is take each day as it comes and enjoy whatever gifts or lessons each day brings. That sounds rather exciting, now that I think about it. Yes, that's exactly what I'll do. Starting now.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out

Sometimes I just want to pull my hair out, especially when I read a friend's blog post and I just can't wrap my head around it. This morning, I was reading a post from a fellow breast cancer survivor. She said her cancer has returned and is growing in her spine. As soon as I read the words, I burst into tears. I just didn't understand! We'd been diagnosed with the same type of cancer in the same year. How could it be that her cancer had returned and mine had not? And what made it even more difficult to understand and accept was the fact that she'd chosen to go the traditional treatment route. I'd opted not to do that. She'd endured chemotherapy, radiation, and the anti-hormone therapy afterward. I'd refused chemo, had done 28 rounds of radiation, and had only taken the anti-hormone drugs for a couple of months. It just didn't compute and it certainly didn't seem fair. But that's what sucks about cancer. It doesn't follow the rules.
Post a Comment
Read more

Cancer the gift that keeps on giving - the high cost of cancer

There's a basket of bills sitting in the corner of my bedroom. I try not to look at it as I enter the room but I know it's there. Its contents spill out onto the floor whenever my husband stuffs another bill into the basket. Usually, when the mail comes, he gets it first so he can filter what I see and what I don't see. Since he's the only one working, he takes care of our financial responsibilities and while I'm thankful for that, I'm not ignorant about our mounting bills. Cancer is expensive. Even if you've reached maintenance phase, it's costly. There are always tests to be run, blood to be taken, doctors to see. It never ends. Just knowing this will be a continual process for the rest of my life frustrates me and the alternative, death, will be my only way out. It would be nice to know that cancer could be a once and done kind of thing but that's only wishful thinking. Everyone knows cancer is a long and very involved illness. I had no id
Post a Comment
Read more

Annual checkup yields good news!

Yesterday I went to the Cancer Treatment Centers of America for my annual check up. For those unfamiliar with the cancer treatment center, it's an integrative facility that provides services for the body, mind, and spirit. My day began in the survivorship department. While there, I met with the doctor and was asked about how I'd been feeling both physically and emotionally. We talked for about half an hour. The doctor and I had a few laughs and it was probably the most pleasant visit I've ever had. Instead of making me feel that she was the doctor and I was the patient, I felt like we were old friends just having a good chat. It was refreshing and I left her office feeling very optimistic. Next was the port lab where I have my blood drawn. It's always a challenge there because I always have to explain about my lymphedema and why it's necessary to have blood drawn from my hand instead of my arm. You'd think, after 4 years of being a patient there, they'
Post a Comment
Read more