Here we go again

I was so keyed up about going to my appointment today that I needed something to help me sleep last night. I'm so thankful I had a prescription for Ambien and I was able to fall soundly asleep within about fifteen minutes after taking it. I don't really like taking medication to help me sleep but lately, it's been a necessity. Either I'm in too much pain to rest comfortably or I can't get my mind to stop thinking.

This morning, the nerves have kicked in again. I'm not looking forward to going to this appointment alone. I'd feel much better if I had someone to go with me but I guess it's time to pull out the big girl panties. I may look for my little friend, the tiny stuffed lion my friend Wendy gave me at the beginning of my treatments in 2014. I took that little guy with me to every test and every treatment. I know. It was a silly thing to do but it brought me great comfort and made me feel less alone.

No one likes feeling like a bug under a microscope and that's exactly how I'll feel today. After answering a zillion and one health questions, the poking and prodding will begin. Today's supposed to be an easy day. Tomorrow will be the testing day. I've already been told I'll have another bone scan and probably more ultrasounds. I feel like I'm starting from scratch....

Saturday, I'm to meet with the new oncologist. Yes, I said Saturday. I know. I thought it was weird too. How many professionals are willing to meet with patients on a Saturday? Not many. But I'm thankful it's a woman and I'm also thankful my first meeting with her will be on a Saturday so Phil can come with me. If this doctor is like my other doctors from India, I'm sure she'll be very pleasant and very helpful.

As I type this, I can't help but watch the clock. I need to leave for my appointment soon.