Expectant

The skies are gray and the clouds are pregnant with rain. I look out through barren tree limbs and see tiny buds of green. All of nature seems expectant, ready to burst into bloom and I feel the same.

It seems for months I've been in a holding pattern, a season of rest. For those who know me, this is unnatural. I am usually in a constant state of motion, perpetually busy but for some reason and in this season, I am not. Oh, I have been feeding my mind but does that really count as busy? Reading massive amounts of books and pecking out reviews seems trivial. What is God up to, I wonder. Why am I in this strange and unfamiliar season of life and why now? Am I supposed to be learning some valuable life lesson? Am I being prepared for some new trial? There are too many questions and not enough answers, so I wait...expectantly.

I remember when I was pregnant with my first child. I was young and giddy. As I watched my body change and grow, I could barely contain my joy. Just the thought of a new life inside me flooded my soul with happiness. In just a few weeks, that child will be 41. My how time flies and where does it go? The minutes pass by so swiftly and yet, there are those that seem forever etched in time.

Expectant. Even the word is full. And just like the tiny buds about to burst into bloom, I'm ready. I don't know what is coming but I can feel something electric in the air, buzzing, humming, building...and I wait.