I'm a Sentimental Sap, It's True

Gerri and her husband, "Doc"

Just a few more days until Christmas and all of a sudden, I've turned into a sentimental sap. Anything and everything causes me to start blubbering. I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm not usually like this. I think I've been watching too many Hallmark Christmas movies.

Each year, as Christmas approaches, I want everything to be just perfect...a cross between a Martha Stewart and Better Homes and Gardens Christmas. I work really hard to make my home inviting and do my best to fill it with memories my children and grandchildren will cherish. It's a lot of work for a few hours of celebration, but who cares?

The day after Thanksgiving, we put up our tree and before you know it, decorations fill every nook and cranny. I dig out all of my Christmas CDs and load the Bose, so I have continual holiday joy filling my home. After everything is lit and decorated, I begin baking. Part of my gift giving includes special holiday recipes from years past and it's always a pleasure to remember good times as I'm cooking. Smells trigger memories and hopefully, there aren't burnt ones this year.

Today was a bittersweet day as I ran across a different kind of memory tucked deep in my closet. It was a chilly day and the thin chambray shirt I was wearing wasn't keeping me warm. Heading toward my big walk in closet, I began to rummage through my winter tops in hopes of finding something more substantial. My fingers skimmed over sweatshirts and long sleeve blouses, that's when I saw it, Gerri's jacket...that faded blue denim tucked deep. My hand stopped and paused reverently on the sleeve as I remembered my sweet best friend. I don't know where they came from but suddenly, the dam burst and I was standing in a puddle of tears.

Gerri had passed away several years ago. It was so unexpected. When I received the news, I was devastated. My best friend had died. I couldn't process it. We'd just spent the weekend together getting our hair done, going out to eat, joking and laughing, and now...she was gone. I didn't realize it until that very moment, as my hand slid down the jacket front...I'd never see her again. I couldn't pick up the phone and call her. I'd have no one to share my secrets with again. We'd never giggle so hard over her bladder control issues again. It wasn't fair.

I took the jacket down from the hanger, held it carefully in my hands ,thinking it might disintegrate and then all memories of her would be gone. The soft denim jacket was well-worn. It was Gerri's favorite. When she'd died, her husband, Doc, asked if there was anything I'd like to have, and the only thing I could think of was her jacket. She'd been wearing it the last day we were together. For some reason, I just knew, if I held it up to my nose, I'd still be able to smell her...remember her. Doc had lovingly agreed to give me her jacket and had ridden his bike almost 50 miles to bring it to me one afternoon after things had calmed down a bit. I'd taken his sweet gift and hung it in my closet, thinking I'd wear it one day as the weather grew cooler, but the jacket had hung there for months and I'd forgotten all about it.

Holding Gerri's jacket was difficult. She had loved this jacket so much and had worn it everywhere she went. As I looked over the front of the jacket, I saw several pins she'd placed on it. There was one for women bikers, one for diabetes awareness, and one for breast cancer awareness. That little pink ribbon...she'd put that one there for me. On the back of her jacket was a patch, another lady biker symbol. She and Doc were big Harley riders, and it was important for her to let others know.

I gently unfastened the buttons and opened the jacket. I slipped first one arm in and then the other. As I managed to get the jacket on, I felt an instant warmth...like a huge, big, Gerri hug. Oh it was so sweet! I could almost hear her whisper in my ear, "It's going to be okay, girl. It's going to be okay." The cozy denim enveloped me and I stood there crying. All the sweet memories of my best friend mingled together into a massive, overwhelming gift that was too hard to bear. Struggling, I took the jacket off and hung it back on the hanger. I couldn't bear to wear it today or perhaps ever. I knew it was only a jacket but it held too many emotions...too many memories...too much love.

As I turned out the light and softly closed the door to my closet, I knew Gerri's jacket was safe in its place amid my winter clothes and the memory of my friend was nestled snug against my heart, just where it always would remain.

The lights on the Christmas tree twinkle brightly as I stand before it. I'll miss you sweet friend, but I'll always treasure your laugh, your smile, and your mischievous grin. Even though you're no longer with me physically, you'll always be in my heart.

Just the other day, I was at the drugstore picking up a prescription. As I walked through the aisles to get to the pharmacy, I passed a row of feminine hygiene products. Suddenly, I felt a need to stop, and as I glanced down, there was a package of Tena bladder control pads lying on the floor. I swear I could hear Gerri's snicker starting up and then it turned into full blow gut wrenching laughter...but it wasn't hers I was hearing, it was MINE!

You know, Jesus said there’s a friend that sticks closer than a brother. That’s the way it is with the biker brotherhood. If ever someone is in need, you can bet there’ll be a rider ready to help out. Jesus put a huge value on the gift of friendship. Listen to what He says in these verses:

“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends. You are my friends if you do what I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for the servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends, for all that I have heard from my Father I have made known to you.” John 15:12-15

Isn’t that powerful? Jesus sends people our way on a daily basis. Sometimes He brings them into our lives for just a short season and other times, He allows them to become life long friends. If you’ve got friends, be sure and let them know how much you love them…especially during this holiday season.

Gerri and I several years before she passed. 

Mamas make Christmas

 

If Christmas were a Broadway production, the Mamas would be the producers, directors, stage managers, and the entire crew backstage—while the Daddies would be seated comfortably in the audience, offering helpful commentary like, “Looks great, honey,” without ever leaving their seats.

Let’s be honest. If it weren’t for the Mamas, no gifts would mysteriously appear on Amazon and then magically migrate into the house. They wouldn’t be wrapped with care, topped with curly ribbon, and tucked lovingly under the tree. They’d still be sitting in an online cart somewhere, waiting for a Daddy to remember his password.

Without Mamas, there would be no sugar cookies shaped like stars, angels, and something that was supposed to be a reindeer but looks more like a confused squirrel. No flour-dusted counters. No sprinkles in places sprinkles should never be. Certainly no taste-testing “just to make sure they’re good.”

Stockings? Please. Without Mamas, they’d still be folded neatly in a storage bin labeled “Seasonal,” because the Daddies were busy watching football or knee-deep in a garage project that absolutely had to be finished right before kickoff.

Yes, many Daddies do bravely attempt the holiday honey-do list. Some even cross a few things off. Others stare at it thoughtfully, nod with confidence, and then… somehow end up reorganizing the tool drawer instead.

Every now and then, there’s a Daddy who steps in and handles the Christmas prep like a pro. We applaud those rare and magical creatures. Truly. But most years, God clearly knew what He was doing when He gave Mamas extra stamina, an internal to-do list, and the ability to function on three hours of sleep and leftover cookie dough.

Mamas stay up late and rise early, making Christmas merry and bright. They wrap gifts in secret, assemble toys with instructions written in five languages, and silently thank the delivery drivers who bring not only presents but also dinner—especially when tipped just right.

So here’s a big, jingling, tinsel-covered shoutout to the Mamas. The magic-makers. The cookie-bakers. The gift-wrappers. Without them, Christmas wouldn’t be Christmas at all.

It would just be another night—with the TV on, the garage light glowing, and no cookies in sight.

Ponder

 

This morning I woke up with a single word resting on my heart—ponder. Now that’s not exactly a word I use in everyday conversation. I don’t usually wake up thinking, “Well, I believe I shall ponder today.” But because it’s Christmas season, I knew that word didn’t just wander in on its own. God must have placed it there for a reason.

 

Psalm 64:9 says,“They will proclaim the works of God and ponder what He has done.”

That verse settled into my spirit like a warm quilt on a cold morning.

 

When I think of the word ponder, my mind immediately goes to Mary. The young girl chosen by God to carry the Savior of the world. Scripture tells us that Mary “pondered these things in her heart.” And that word, ponder, carries such tenderness with it. It’s not rushed thinking. It’s not shallow reflection. It’s the kind of remembering that holds something close, turning it over gently again and again because it matters too much to forget.

 

Mary had a lot to ponder.

 

She pondered the angel’s visit - can you imagine cooking supper one minute and then being told you’ll carry the Son of God the next? I’m certain she replayed those words in her mind again and again: “You are highly favored.” 

 

She likely pondered her visit with Elizabeth, the wonder of two miracle pregnancies meeting under one roof and the sound of laughter mixed with holy awe. And then there was the night of Jesus’ birth - shepherds bursting in with wild-eyed stories of angels, a manger standing in for a cradle, the Son of Heaven wrapped in simple cloth.

 

Luke tells us she treasured and pondered all of it.

 

The Greek word used in the scriptures for ponder is symballo, and it means to toss around or throw together. I find that comforting. Mary didn’t have neat, tidy answers. She had holy fragments - angel words, prophetic songs, midnight shepherds, baby cries, and she tossed them around in her heart, trying to make sense of the wonder.

 

And oh, what a lifetime of things she had to ponder.

 

From scraped knees and carpenter’s tools…To water turned into wine…To storms calmed with a word…To blind eyes opened and dead hearts awakened…All the way to a cross, a borrowed tomb, and finally, an empty grave.

 

No wonder she spent her life pondering.

 

There’s a beautiful Christmas song that asks the question - “Mary, did you know?” Did she know that her baby boy would walk on water? That He would save both the broken and the proud? That the child she held would one day hold the whole world together?

 

That song always reminds me that Mary wasn’t just a holy figure—she was a human mama with a wondering heart.

 

As Christmas draws closer, I feel that same gentle nudge to slow down and ponder. Not just skim past the story, not just rush through the season, but to hold tight to the wonder. To ponder what God has done in Scripture… and what He has done in my own life.

 

Because when we ponder, we don’t just remember, we proclaim His works without ever speaking a word.

And maybe that’s why “ponder” greeted me this morning. A holy reminder to pause. To reflect. To treasure. To let the miracle sink in all over again.

 

Heavenly Father,

Thank You for the gift of this sacred season and for the gentle reminder to ponder Your goodness. Help us slow down long enough to reflect on the wonder of the manger, the miracle of the cross, and the power of the empty tomb. Teach us to treasure what You have done—not just in Scripture, but in our own lives. Like Mary, may we carry Your promises close to our hearts and trust You with every unanswered question.

In Jesus’ precious name,

Amen

God Gently With Us

At Christmas, we are reminded that God chose to reveal Himself to humanity in the most unexpected way—not with thunder, fire, or overwhelming glory, but as a helpless baby.

I’ve often wondered why.

God could have appeared in all His majesty, clothed in light, speaking worlds into existence as He once did. Yet Scripture tells us we could not bear such a sight. When Moses longed to see God’s glory, the Lord placed him in the cleft of a rock and allowed him to see only what had passed by. It wasn’t rejection—it was protection.

“But,” He said, “you cannot see My face, for no man shall see Me and live.”
—Exodus 33:20

The Bible is clear: no one has ever seen God in His fullness.

“No one has ever seen God.”
—John 1:18

And yet, in His mercy, God still desired to be known.

So He came to us gently.

He came as a baby—small enough to be held, fragile enough to need care, familiar enough not to frighten us away. Everyone loves babies. Their innocence draws us in; their vulnerability softens our hearts. God, in His perfect wisdom, chose a form we could approach without fear.

And yet, this was no ordinary child.

The baby in the manger was fully human and fully divine. Wrapped in swaddling cloths was the One who created every delicate insect wing and flung the stars into the vastness of the heavens.

“In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God…
All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was made that was made.”
—John 1:1, 3

This Creator did not remain distant.

“And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory.”
—John 1:14

In that tiny, developing brain dwelled the fullness of Deity—unchanged, undiminished.

“For in Him all the fullness of Deity dwells bodily.”
—Colossians 2:9

This is the miracle of the incarnation.

Some struggle to believe that God would enter the world this way. But an omnipotent, omnipresent God knew exactly how He would be received—even in the soft, dimpled body of a newborn.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son.”
—John 3:16

Christmas is not just the story of a baby born long ago—it is the story of a God who loved us enough to meet us where we were. Not above us. Not beyond us. But with us.

“Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a Son, and they shall call His name Immanuel,” which means, “God with us.”
—Matthew 1:23

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Heavenly Father,
We stand in quiet wonder at the mystery of Christmas. Thank You for revealing Yourself not in ways that would overwhelm us, but in love that draws us near. Thank You for the humility of the manger and the grace wrapped in human flesh. Help us to receive You anew—not only as the baby we adore, but as the Savior who knows us completely. May our hearts remain soft, our faith deep, and our awe undiminished as we celebrate the miracle of God with us.
Amen.

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Cookie Christmas

Today I was remembering a special time during my growing up years. This memory is specifically from my time in Girl Scouts. (I have so many memories I could share from my scouting career - from Brownies, at age 7, all the way up to my time as part of a Co-Ed Explorer group, in my high school years, and every rank in between those two, but today, I'll stick to one tiny memory from my Junior year.)

Girls from my troop were so excited as Christmas approached and we were even more excited when we found out we had a chance to learn cookie making one afternoon after school. 

Mrs. Stodghill, one of my scouting friend's mothers, had agreed to teach a small group of us how to make gingerbread cookies. 

We stood around her kitchen counter as Mrs. Stodghill read the recipe to us. She allowed us to ask questions as she carefully explained terms we were unfamiliar with. After she'd read the complete recipe, she began pulling out the necessary ingredients and placing them on her counter. 

Through fascinated eyes, we looked at the bag of brown sugar, the jar of molasses, the blocks of butter, the spices, and flour. We couldn't wait to get started! 

Mrs. Stodghill was a kindhearted and very patient woman. Tenderly she allowed each of us to have a turn doing part of the preparation. As the dough came together, one by one, we'd get a turn to stir the big wooden spoon in her sturdy, Pyrex bowl. 

We each took turns smelling the dough when it was complete. Mrs. Stodghill asked if we could smell the ginger and we assured her we could. 

Then we watched as she ripped off a long sheet of wax paper. She smoothly laid it on the counter then turned the bowl of dough upside down smack dab in the middle of it. We had no idea what she was doing, so we watched in awe as she took one end of the paper and began rolling. Soon she had a long roll of dough covered in wax paper. Next, she twisted each end and told us the dough had to chill in the refrigerator for several hours. We were so disappointed thinking we wouldn't get to make cookies that day, but Mrs. Stodghill had thought ahead. 

Smiling, we watched as she wiped her hands on her apron and turned toward the refrigerator gently placing the cookie dough log inside while at the same time, pulling out another. 

Putting two and two together, we all began to giggle. We'd definitely be making cookies that day and we were happy about it. 

She turned on the oven to let it preheat, then pulled out a rolling pin and dusted the counter with flour. Before we could participate, she made us all wash and dry our hands as she explained the importance of being sanitary while cooking. 

She assigned each of us a small task and before you know it, we had dough flattened out on the counter, dusted with a light coating of flour, and various cookie cutters had been chosen by each girl. 

When it was time, Mrs. Stodghill showed us the proper way to cut and lift the cookies from the dough onto the cookie sheet. We worked slowly and carefully so as not to tear our cookies apart. 

After all the cookies had been cut and placed on the pan, Mrs. Stodghill placed them in the oven while we helped clean up the mess we'd made. 

Before we knew it, it was time to take the cookies out. The aroma that filled that kitchen was heavenly. 

The cookies cooled and then we had the fun of decorating them. Our artistic abilities brought peals of laughter and when we were done, we each got a couple of cookies to take home but also one to enjoy right away. 

Every year, since she was old enough to climb up in a chair, I've baked gingerbread cookies with my granddaughter, Heather. This year, since we live a good distance from one another, she'll make them at home with her Mama. She's 10 now and an excellent student so I'm sure my daughter, Laura, will allow Heather to do the majority of the mixing while she oversees. 

It's so fun to teach little ones to master a skill. Cookie baking helps them learn to follow directions but also teaches them that together time is special. 

I'm thankful Mrs. Stodghill gave of herself to that group of precocious little girls one afternoon. I wonder if she ever thought, after 50 some odd years, I'd still remember the time spent with her?

You may not realize how the things you do impact your children or grandchildren, but often, some of their fondest memories stem from the little things. 

Every time I smell ginger, I think of Mrs. Stodghill and her willingness to work with us. My hope now is that Heather will have the same type memories of our baking time together. 

It may be holding the big, wooden rolling pin, that reminds her of cookie baking with me, or it may be the sprinkles of flour we spill on the flour as we get messy together. It doesn't really matter to me. All I want is for her to know she's loved and that I made time for her, like Mrs. Stodghill did for me. 

"Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love."

1 John 4:7-8

A special Christmas memory

Christmas memories are often either some of the very best or the very worst memories a person can have. I'm thankful I can say that most of my Christmas memories have been extremely pleasant and most of them have revolved around selfless love given to me by others. I'd like to share one of my childhood memories with you today in hopes that it might encourage or bless you during this emotionally charged time of year. 

I don't remember exactly how old I was the year I received my most prized possession but I must have been between the ages of 8 and 10. That Christmas, like most others in my childhood, centered around just being together instead of focusing on what was underneath the tree. 

I distinctly remember turning in a Christmas list to my mother earlier in the month. I'd talked with my next door neighbor (who was a little older than I) to find out what the most popular gifts were at the time. I'd asked her what she was going to ask "Santa" for and she showed me pictures from the Sears catalog of all the beautiful Barbie dolls and accessories she'd added to her list. I took home that empowering information and rewrote my list knowing all the while that my parents could never afford such luxuries. Although I would have loved to have found a Barbie dream house, Barbie, Midge, Ken, and Skipper under my tree, I knew I'd be lucky to receive one doll, if any. 

On Christmas morning, as my brother, sister, and I, sat patiently on our living room floor waiting for the signal to begin, I glanced at the packages beneath our tree. There were less than a dozen which meant there were probably only two or three a piece for each of us. This was nothing new. Each year, we were very thankful for whatever we received, but as a child, it was only natural to hope that year after year, things would get bigger and better. 

When Daddy came downstairs, Mama gave permission for us to begin opening our gifts. As we scrambled to find the gifts with our names on them, our parents sat back and watched with anticipation. Great thought and time had gone into the choosing and even though money was scarce, there was no shortage of love in our household. 

My brother, sister, and I were busy opening our gifts simultaneously. I have no idea what they received that year but I do remember my special gift. The box was bigger than a shoebox and I had no idea what might be inside. It was too small to be a Barbie Dream House and too big to be a Barbie doll. I hadn't asked for anything that was even remotely that size, but as I continued unwrapping the box, the mystery was revealed. 

Through a clear cellophane window on the front of the box, I saw a beautiful Italian doll. Her velveteen bonnet and dress were a deep burgundy in color. Her hair, perfectly coifed, was coiled into individual blonde ringlets framing her angelic face. 

I stared in awe as I beheld this wondrous gift. I felt so loved! Where on earth did my mother find it? I'd never seen anything so gorgeous in any of the stores we'd visited before Christmas. 

Carefully, I removed the wire ties that held the doll securely in the box. After she was free, I held her close and examined every inch of her loveliness. Glancing up from the doll, I looked into my mother's face. Tears of joy stained her cheeks. 

I didn't realize it at the time, but the purchase of that doll was a huge sacrifice. Surely she had cost more than any other gift under the tree and had been picked out just for me. 

For years, I cherished that doll only holding her once or twice a day for fear of soiling her loveliness. She was the most special material possession I owned. 

I don't know whatever happened to that doll. More than likely, as I grew older, she was given to a needy child in the neighborhood or donated to a charity but the memories of her will be with me forever. 

Last night, as I was perusing Ebay, I saw a photo of a doll very similar to the one I loved so dearly. It sparked all these memories and made me realize how very loved and cherished I was to my parents back then. It also made me realize how very much we take for granted in our lives. 

If I could have a "do-over," I'd make sure to let my parents know how very much I appreciate them not buying me a Barbie Dream House that year. Their gift was so much better because it was chosen with love. 

We don't always realize our blessings until they're gone. And while a Christmas doll seems so trivial, it's symbolic of a greater gift. Just as our parents want to give us their very best blessings and take joy in giving us our hearts' desires, so our Heavenly Father wants to shower us with His abundant blessings. 

This Christmas, don't focus on the "things" that make the day merry and bright. Instead, focus on the hearts and love around you. Most of all, remember the most beautiful, priceless gift of all...the sweet gift of God's one and only Son, Jesus, handpicked especially for you.

Heavy hearts at Christmas

My dear friend, Joy, texted me a few minutes ago. She shared a lovely photo and asked how I was doing. I didn't want to tell her, but I did. I told her I was missing family members today. I knew she understood, because as we continued our chat, she said she was feeling the same way. And that's when I knew I had to write another devotional-

There’s a quiet ache that settles in during the days leading up to Christmas, an ache we can feel even if we don’t speak it out loud. While the world is twinkling with lights and singing “Joy to the World,” our hearts sometimes hold a different song. When someone we love is no longer here to share the season, everything feels just a little dimmer.

It shows up in unexpected ways: an empty chair at the table, a Christmas ornament that brings back a flood of memories, or a familiar carol that suddenly makes our throat tighten. We long, not just for the person, but for the warmth, the laughter, the presence that once filled a place no one else can fill.

And that longing? It isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s love. It’s the echo of a bond that even time and distance and death cannot silence.

But it is also a reminder that our hearts were created for something more than this world can offer. There is an unfillable void within us, one that even the happiest Christmas morning can’t satisfy. Only Christ can meet us in that place of deep sorrow and gentle hope, offering comfort that reaches beyond the ache.

God sees the longing, the tears, the moments we try to be strong but feel anything but. He knows what it is to love deeply, and He promises to be near to the brokenhearted, even in December, when the world expects us to smile.

Scripture:

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18 (ESV)

Father, 

You know the heaviness we carry as we walk through this season without the ones we love. Thank You for seeing our tears and holding our hearts with tenderness. Help us feel Your nearness in the quiet moments when grief settles in. Fill the empty spaces with Your peace, and remind us that the hope of Christmas is not found in perfect moments, but in Your perfect presence. Give us strength, comfort, and a gentle reminder that love never ends. 

In Jesus’ name, 

Amen.

Everyday Devotionals ©️ Bonnie Annis