Journey Out of Pink

  Be forewarned, this is a very long, personal devotional and definitely falls into the category of oversharing, but I need to do this for myself and hopefully, to encourage and bless someone else. (Also, if you're squeamish, you might not want to look at the pictures.) Most of the people who know me know I'm a firstborn child. As a result of that, I learned quickly to become a people pleaser. I wanted to always do good and be good so I'd get the attention and affection of both my parents and others in my life. To do that, I learned I needed to be in control. I worked hard to keep things in check, things both big and small. But if you've ever studied about it, people pleasing isn't a good thing. In fact, it's a nasty flesh pattern and one that isn't a becoming trait. It's not something that makes God pleased.    Through the years, I've struggled to learn to let go of my people pleasing tendencies and to squelch my need for control. I'm ashamed to

It's almost the end of September, can you believe it? I can't. I'm already bracing for impact. This is the time of year I hate most, not the end of September per se, but the beginning of October. Why do I hate October, well, it's because this will be my 10th Pinktober.  Pinktober is a phrase that was coined when the Susan G. Komen Foundation made pink ribbons their world famous logo. The ribbon was chosen to represent the founder's beloved sister who passed away from breast cancer. I'll have to admit, Pinktober is a cute name for Breast Cancer Awareness Month, but I don't like pink.  When I was a little girl, my Mom wanted to dress me up in frilly pink dresses, but I hated them. I wasn't a girly girl. I was a bonafide tomboy. Pink reminded me of Pepto Bismal and that over the counter medication always made me think of illness. Whenever I had a stomach ache, that was the go to remedy. To this day, I hate the color of Pepto Bismal.  I don't know why I

I wish I'd understood how age affects one's health. Even though I saw it first hand, I didn't grasp the concept as my in laws and my parents began to decline. I knew their stamina would wane, that's just part of life, but to fully understand the challenges of aging, I think one must have first hand experience.  By today's standards, I'm not really old. Yes, I'm closer to 70 than 60, but to me, that's still pretty young. I don't necessarily feel my age. Perhaps that's because I push myself day in and day out. Since my cancer diagnosis back in 2014, I've pushed even harder than ever before. I've often asked myself why, but when I think about it, I believe the feeling I need to use up every minute of every day is rooted in the fear of wasting time that I am not guaranteed to have. Funny how a disease can impress that on you.  This year has been extremely challenging. I've been hospitalized more times than I can count. Some of those hospi

How can something so little hurt so much? I've asked myself that question a thousand times and always in regard to some tiny, evil, red devils properly named FIRE ANTS! If you've ever encountered any of these wretched insects, you know what I'm talking about! Their potent venom can inflict so much pain.  On a hike, about a week ago, my husband and I stopped to have lunch. There was a concrete picnic table in the state park and we decided to have lunch there. As always, I looked under the table before sitting down. (I've learned in the past, creepy crawlers like to hide and nest there.) When I looked, I didn't see anything but decomposing leaves, so flinging one leg then the other over the concrete bench, sat down to enjoy a sandwich. After lunch, we drove home thinking about the perfectly beautiful day we'd had.  But... About an hour into our ride home, I began to itch. That's when I realized I'd been attacked.  As soon as we got home, I pulled off my pa

  I don't know who coined the term "The Silent Killer," but I've learned a lot about it lately. The term relates to blood pressure.  Many people have no idea what their blood pressure reading is unless they monitor it. Most people don't keep a check on their blood pressure because you can't really feel what it's doing until it's either too high, (hypertension), which can be noticed by severe headache, pounding heartbeat, or other symptoms. Or if it's too low, (hypotension), which may be indicated by feelings of dizziness, fainting, or fatigue.  Hypertension can be hereditary, as is my case. Many of my family members have or have had hypertension. I don't know when my blood pressure first became a problem, but it seems I've had it all most of my life. That being the case, I've tried to monitor it at least once or twice a day for years.  About a week ago, my husband and I were sitting in the living room watching a movie on TV. All of a su

Have you ever had a movie line pop into your head at the most random time? I have. It happens often, especially since 2 of my kiddos love to watch movies and memorize lines.  The day before yesterday, after a very uncomfortable situation, I had a line from the hilarious comedy, "Major Payne," pop into my head -  "Who's the dummy now?" And that line was absolutely appropriate for what happened.  It was hot and when I say hot, think inferno, then add some major humidity top of it. My husband and I had been out working in the yard and had both come in red faced and drenched with sweat. I had the bright idea to cool down using a frozen gel pack. They don't really freeze all the way because of something they put in them (I'm not sure if it's alcohol or what, but it allows them to remain pliable.) I unbuttoned my shirt and placed the ice pack on my upper chest, just above my stomach. Right after doing it, I wondered why I couldn't feel the coolness fro