Journey Out of Pink

My ice therapy machine     Well, the surgery went well and I was so thankful I don't remember anything about it other than getting in the car to drive home. The walker helped me get around the house that first day and all was good until that night. I got up in the wee hours of the morning to use the bathroom. One  minute I was up and the other I was down. I'd fallen smack dab on the knee they'd just repaired. I was in so much pain and couldn't manage to get up. My sweet hubby finally heard me moaning and came over to help.   In the morning, as soon as I knew the offices would be open, I called to make an appointment with my surgeon. I wanted to have my knee checked out to make sure I hadn't ruined everything he'd done. When I got to the office, I waited about 15 minutes before being called back. As the nurse led me to the room, we passed my doc in the hall. He made the naughty sign to me and smiled.    When he came into the room, he examined me an...

  Well, tomorrow is the big day. I'm definitely not looking forward to it but it's necessary so I'm going through it. I'm just praying I don't have problems with infection or blood clots.  I'm surprised at how many of my friends have been through joint replacement this year. Most of them are knee, but several are hip. I guess we're all growing old and our parts are wearing out.  You never used to hear about these types of surgeries but now, they're commonplace. And if you think about it, it seems like there's an "operation of the year" every single year. I wonder why that is? Do doctors push certain procedures for monetary gain? I sure hope not, but I know many doctors prescribe specific medications because they get kickbacks from drug companies. It's not right, especially when we trust our doctors to give us the best health care they can give.  I'm thankful for medical advancements that provide artificial joints for those who need ...

My surgery date is fast approaching and I've been pretty nervous about it. I made the mistake of watching a YouTube video on the procedure and basically, they slice your leg open just above and below the knee, take an electric saw and level off your bones, then take a drill and make a hole to receive the knee implant, hammer it in and then stitch you back up. It sounds extremely painful and I'm sure it will be, otherwise, they wouldn't prescribe Oxycodone as a pain reliever.  To take my mind off of what's coming, I've been busy around the house finding one project then the other. A few days ago, my husband and I went to a local cemetery. (We walk there daily because it's quiet and safe.) On our last walk, we noticed a large pear tree. It was full of pears. Some had already fallen on the ground and birds had been eating them. I told him it was such a waste for all of the pears to go unused. I asked if he thought anyone would mind if we picked some and he said, ...

A long time ago I learned an acronym for the word fear:  F - FALSE E - EVIDENCE A - APPEARING  R - REAL I'd forgotten it until last night. As I was thinking about my upcoming surgery, I was getting more wigged out. I was playing every possible scenario of how the surgery might go in my head and none of them were good.  I don't know why my brain defaulted to negative thoughts, but it did. I guess the bottom line was, I was scared. And the fear I felt was exactly what the acronym represented - a fear of the unknown.  I've heard several people say getting a knee replacement was one of the best decisions they ever made and there have been others who've had extreme complications for serious infections to blood clots. With my health history, I've dealt with unexpected side effects and they're never pleasant. Now that I'm older, a surgical complication would be more difficult to recover from but I'm going to hope for the best.  False evidence appearing real - f...

Well, today was interesting! As a requirement of the hospital that's performing my knee replacement surgery, I had to attend a virtual joint school. It was an hour and a half presentation that went over what to do before and after surgery. I'm not a huge fan of internet classes, but I was thankful I didn't have to turn on my webcam to attend. It was funny to watch the faces of the participants that chose to turn theirs on, though. Some of them looked so bored and others looked like they were extremely serious. I fell into the middle thinking I could read the Powerpoint slides myself.  The nurse that hosted the class wasn't very good. She had a deadpan voice and I'm sure the whole thing was rote to her. It would have been nice to have had someone with a little more positivity, but hey, I guess they get tired of doing the classes so frequently.  I was surprised at the number of people in the class today. There were 18. If that's average, and they do a class every ...

This morning, I stood at my bathroom mirror inspecting my reflection. A woman I barely recognized looked back with empty eyes. “Who are you?” I asked. There was no response. That's when a few random thoughts popped into my head - "Where's your joy? When was the last time you were truly happy? When did you last laugh?"Hmmm...I had no answers. Something was wrong. Was I depressed? Possibly. I thought I was just fine. I sure looked just “fine.” Everyone said so. But was I really? The more I thought about it, the less sure I was.  I've always tried to be happy. I've done my best to keep a positive outlook on life, but when feelings creep in, they have a way of stealing joy. When things we can't control happen, it's easy to get discouraged, to feel a little down, and to let the joy slip into sadness.   People always say you have to move past the things you can't control. They tell you to just let it go and move on, but that's not an easy thing to do...

When I was a young child, I was afraid of the dark. As daylight dimmed and I knew bedtime was approaching, I'd begin to get nervous. I'd beg my mother to let me leave the closet light on so my room wouldn't be completely dark. She'd chide me and tell me I wasn't a baby, but after a few terror filled nights, she realized I was deathly afraid of the dark and allowed me to leave the light on in the closet as long as I only cracked the door. That gave me some comfort, but I always had to check under the bed before I climbed in and even though I shared a room with my sister, I was terrified that something would reach out and grab my ankle in the middle of the night. Sometimes, I feel like cancer is the monster under my bed now. Though I know, in my heart, it's not there, it sure feels like it might pop out and take hold of me again. Yesterday, I went to the cancer treatment center for a bone scan. My oncologist ordered it to make sure all was well. It's been al...

It was an overcast day and we were bored, so we got in the car and started driving. Where to go? What to do? We were on an adventure!  Our first stop was to a new little coffee shop in a nearby town. It was quaint and tucked in an out of the way place. We went in and ordered coffee along with a pastry for each of us, then got cozy in some nice chairs toward the back of the shop. After chatting a bit, we headed out still unsure of where we were headed.  Clouds were building and we wondered if it was going to rain. As we passed beautiful farm land, we decided to try for Callaway Gardens. This time of year it would be lush and green. Flowers would be in bloom and it would probably have many tourists, but we wanted to go anyway.  The more we thought about it, the more we realized we wanted to spend the entire day there, but we'd failed to pack a lunch. No problem, Dollar General to the rescue! Though not our typical preference for picking up lunch items, we knew we'd only nee...